Voice Anxiety

[Courtney]

I'm at the point now that my voice is becoming a huge problem. I dress femininely all most all the time now but I'm still terrified to try speaking femininely and fail. Some of my friends have said that me trying to change my voice is the only part of all of this that really makes them uncomfortable so I guess that's a lot of why I have waited as long as I have to try doing this. The last thing I want to do is make the people around me uncomfortable so I have been trying to work on my voice alone using a microphone on my computer but I have been working so hard on it that I think I have lost my grasp of what sounds realistic and what doesn't. Can any one suggest any ways to me that I could check to see if my voice sounds ridiculous or not? I thought about doing that thing where you call like a book store or whatever and ask them things but I get so anxious that I freak out, feel really embarrassed and end up not wanting to think about my voice at all for a few days. If any one has any ideas that would be great. Thanks.

[lauren3332]

I feel your pain.  I am also having trouble with my voice as well.  I should practice more but I get depressed very easily.  I hope everything works out for you. 

[Ms.Behavin]

One thing,  Don't strain the voice trying to get to a higher pitch.  That can do more harm then good. You might get a few voice CD's.  Should be links in the WIKI somewhere.  That helped me quite a bit.  It takes time to get to the point where the pitch and resonance is right or as right as you can achieve anyway.  For me it took oh about 2 years before I did not get called sir on the phone

Beni

[ilikepotatoes]

tsroadmap.com has a voice training dvd and cd set that a lot trans women say works well if you practice it every day. I ripped the cd onto my ipod to use during long drives.

[Courtney]

Well I have been using the voice tutorials on youtube because I cant afford anything else and they seem to work pretty well. I feel like I have made some progress but I think that the real issue is being so afraid that I sound creepy and ridiculous that I freeze up and loose control of my voice or get scared and don't even try. I'm just really afraid of being one of those transpeople that thinks that they have a 100% passable voice and they are really just doing that creepy whisper thing or not going high enough or going to high but it doesn't seem like there is any way to gauge how good you sound without going to voice therapy and that's not an option when your dealing with the financial circumstances that I am. I guess what I'm asking is if any one knows of a way to gauge how good your voice sounds without having to embarrass yourself to death. Sorry for being so long winded.

[FairyGirl]

I used a digital voice recorder I got at Best Buy for about $60. You can use this to practice your voice as much as you like without worrying about being embarrassed or freaking out and losing it- because no one will hear it but you. This helped me develop my voice better than any tutorials and I could get instant feedback by listening to myself.

You already know what female voices sound like- you hear them every day in real life and on TV, radio, etc. Listen to how they sound, and then try to say the same words in the same way, same pitch, same intonations. And it's more about your inflections than your pitch, unless you just have a deep bass voice like James Earl Jones or something. Talk from the top of your lungs instead of from your diaphram. Most of all remember you are now a female speaking- don't let all those old "rules" of how men and boys are supposed to form and speak their words to avoid sounding "gay" get in your way. These are subtle aspects of learned (male) speech but they must be unlearned.

I believe that just about anyone can learn to speak, speech impediments can be overcome, even thick regional accents can be overcome. So can sounding like a man, it just takes practice and determination.

[MasterAsh]

I'm reaching the same point in my voice progression as you are Courtney. I feel the strain of those muscles less, and the resonance in my head is becoming more familiar; the two together make it difficult to feel when I'm doing things properly. Lately, I have taken to leaving one of my recordings sitting around and listening to it again a few days later. Even though I practice daily, there's still an extra level of detachment from myself and the older recording, allowing for some maintenance of perspective on it. That knowledge then allows for adjustment and tuning in the current day's training.

Most of all remember you are now a female speaking- don't let all those old "rules" of how men and boys are supposed to form and speak their words to avoid sounding "gay" get in your way. These are subtle aspects of learned (male) speech but they must be unlearned.

What FG says here is a big thing. Learning proper resonance and inflection will do nothing if you can't "let" yourself speak female. It's the difference between essentially filtering your current voice and finding your real one.

[Naturally Blonde]

I thought I would never get read with my voice. I have been very lucky with my voice and It hadn't been read on the phone for about 10 years. But last week I got a knock back and someone called me 'sir' on the phone. It was a real shock after so long but it may have been more to do with my anger and presentation in a confontal phone call than actual sound or pitch.

[Chaos_Dagger]

I have the same issues.  I want to be able to change my voice, but I don't know how nor do I have the money.  I get ma'amed on the phone all the time when I present as male (since I haven't switched to full time female) which I suppose is a good thing.  My grandmother on the other hand says I sound like my father, which isn't such a good thing.  Then when playing video games with my wife I read out the script to her, I change my voice for each character and she says I do the female voices very well.  Same with Dungeons and Dragons, when voicing my character Adrian I'm told by my wife that my female voice is perfect.  Problem is, even if it is or not, I have no clue HOW I'm doing it... it just happens.  So many with luck when I dress it'll "just happen" but I won't know until Friday if that's true or not lol

[Courtney]

I'm reaching the same point in my voice progression as you are Courtney. I feel the strain of those muscles less, and the resonance in my head is becoming more familiar; the two together make it difficult to feel when I'm doing things properly. Lately, I have taken to leaving one of my recordings sitting around and listening to it again a few days later. Even though I practice daily, there's still an extra level of detachment from myself and the older recording, allowing for some maintenance of perspective on it. That knowledge then allows for adjustment and tuning in the current day's training.

What FG says here is a big thing. Learning proper resonance and inflection will do nothing if you can't "let" yourself speak female. It's the difference between essentially filtering your current voice and finding your real one.

That's such a great idea! Thanks so much, that's exactly the sort of advice I was looking for. Getting a realistic perspective on your voice is so difficult when you have been sitting and scrutinising it for an hour. I will definitely try this.

[Crypt77]

There's this user on YouTube by the user name of candiFLA. She has done many videos on how to transition your deep voice into your head voice. Maybe you have already heard of her, but here's the link to her YouTube channel:

http://www.youtube.com/user/candiFLA

I hope that helps, and best of luck to you!

[Courtney]

There's this user on YouTube by the user name of candiFLA. She has done many videos on how to transition your deep voice into your head voice. Maybe you have already heard of her, but here's the link to her YouTube channel:

http://www.youtube.com/user/candiFLA

I hope that helps, and best of luck to you!

^_^ Actually she is the person that I have been using. She can be crazy creepy sometimes but she is really good.

[Suzy]

Watch your caller ID for 800 numbers as they are nearly always telemarketers or surveys.  I just figure that if they are going to invade my space uninvited I may as well use them.  So I keep them on the phone as long as I can and practice my voice.  Today I did a half hour interview.  The woman on the phone kept telling me things like :  We women........   and as you know, women.......    Practice everywhere you can, at drive-ins and fast food places where you order over a speaker is a good test.  I personally like Sonic.  These are all free places to practice.

Best of Luck!Kristi

[Janet_Girl]

I used the program on Deep Stealth.  And my computer's sound recorder.  That was like 6 - 7 months ago.  Now I can hardly get that male voice back. unless I get really p.o.'d.   But for the most part it is very feminine sounding.  Still working on the sneezing, clearing of the throat. 

I am always called "Ma'am" on the phone.  And my voice never gives me away.


Janet

[FairyGirl]

Watch your caller ID for 800 numbers as they are nearly always telemarketers or surveys.  I just figure that if they are going to invade my space uninvited I may as well use them.  So I keep them on the phone as long as I can and practice my voice.

great idea! I usually just hang them up but now you mention it they are perfect for voice practice 

[Courtney]

Watch your caller ID for 800 numbers as they are nearly always telemarketers or surveys.  I just figure that if they are going to invade my space uninvited I may as well use them.  So I keep them on the phone as long as I can and practice my voice.  Today I did a half hour interview.  The woman on the phone kept telling me things like :  We women........   and as you know, women.......    Practice everywhere you can, at drive-ins and fast food places where you order over a speaker is a good test.  I personally like Sonic.  These are all free places to practice.

Best of Luck!Kristi

I really don't want to do any phone or public test without being pretty sure I wont fail, besides like I said every time I have tried to do something like that I panic a freeze up.

[Sigma Prime]

Have you tried increasing the pitch of your voice incrementally? Consider this, and set a goal to get your pitch close to that of a normal female within the space of a few months. Every two or three days, move it up very slightly in pitch, and continue interacting with people as you normally would.

Whichever course you choose to take, good luck.

[Courtney]

Have you tried increasing the pitch of your voice incrementally? Consider this, and set a goal to get your pitch close to that of a normal female within the space of a few months. Every two or three days, move it up very slightly in pitch, and continue interacting with people as you normally would.

Whichever course you choose to take, good luck.

That's actually a really great idea. I will probably try doing that with my resonance and timber before I do it with pitch since pitch is the thing that scares me the most. It seems like your timber and resonance can be way off and people can tell but it doesn't seem to weird them out nearly as much as when you are improperly changing pitch.

[Blaire]

i'm trying to change mine also. i bought a cd from exceptional voice. the woman comes from a musical point of view.her nae is kathe perez.

good luck, send us a sample and i'll dothe same soon.

[Ms Bev]

i'm trying to change mine also. i bought a cd from exceptional voice. the woman comes from a musical point of view.her nae is kathe perez.

good luck, send us a sample and i'll dothe same soon.

You made a good choice!  I started with the Exceptional Voice CD's.  Do EXACTLY what she says, even if you don't think you have to.
The couple of CD's worked well for me, and after several years on my own, I coach voice transition outside of my regular job.  Kathe Perez is the best!

Bev