Thanks everyone! I will always be around for her if she needs/ wants to contact me. When I said I would do anything I could for her, I always meant it (even if at the beginning I worried) and that goes for whatever our titles for each other are. I really believe that everything happens for a reason, and sooner or later, everything does work itself out. So while of course I'm really sad and it hit me hard that we're no longer a couple, I know it's the best thing for both of us. So I'm not going to focus on 'what could have been', but focus on what was, and be glad it happened at all! I can only hope that some day we may grow close as friends again.
We were only together like 7.5 months, but I was certain we would spend the rest of our lives together. (I know I sound young and crazy, but I am fairly young, and I must admit, I'm a bit crazy, but in a good way!) Honestly though, I never saw myself with anyone else (still kinda don't, it takes time to heal) she just seems perfect, has a good head on her shoulders.
Unfortunately there's quite a distance between us, so actually getting together won't work. We both have IM and skype, so that's the extent of our 'together', which I know didn't help the situation at all
Oh, and Cindy, I'll send those ovaries over on the next plane!
haha
Post Merge: June 29, 2009, 10:53:33 PM
Starr,
I'm by no means going to stop my life for her, but I will always be open to her. If she never wants to be friends and/ or have my support directly, that's up to her. I would hope that isn't the case, but it's beyond my control. Whether she knows it or not, talks to me or not, or whatever, I still support her all the way, and I want the best for her. That will never change.
I do realize that I need to put myself first, because I'm not doing anybody any good if I can't handle myself. I am going about everything I need to do to get myself under control. I am going to get an appointment with the nurse I see that I get my meds from, and we'll talk about upping my doses (I was told I should up my doses by the psychiatrist I saw before the nurse, but unfortunately I can no longer see the psychiatrist I was with) I hate the fact that i'm on meds, so I didn't really want to have to up my doses, but I know it's something I need to do. I do know they help me, as without them, I don't even feel like I'm in my own body, it's not a pleasant feeling. Also I'm going to start talking with a phycologist soon, as well as the nurse. (I know, I sound like a mental case! haha)
So yes, I am working on getting myself under control. But that doesn't mean I have to give up on someone I love, it's just pushed to second priority for right now. I know that I need support, too, and I'm lucky I have a pretty good support system behind me! I have one friend that I cried to almost every night, and he wouldn't get irritated with me or anything, he just let me get it out of my system. He's very supportive and I'm grateful he put up with me this long! LOL Sometimes I just need a good cry before I start feeling better.
