I'm back again.. If you want all the sordid details you can look at my old posts, but here's a quick rundown of where I've been and where I'm going:
-I've had feelings of gender dysphoria since age 8 or 9, and mostly channeled that into cross dressing and dating transwomen up until my mid-20s. It was only after I married my wife (who knew about my gender issues, but not the truth depth of them) that I started to seriously consider transitioning.
-I almost transitioned in 2005 and 2008. In 2005 I quickly retreated after telling my wife I was thinking of transitioning, and soon after that she became pregnant with our son. In 2008, the feelings were much stronger, and she tentatively agreed to let me start seeing a GID therapist and start hormones once I got my letter from the therapist. I came out as trans to my parents, her parents, and a lot of my close friends. All were supportive, to greater or lesser degrees.
Around last Christmas, first she told me that she couldn't stay married to me if I transitioned, so I decided to put things on hold. Then she found out I had an affair with a transwoman, and we separated briefly. After we got back together, she got pregnant with our daughter, who is due in November.
So right now everything related to transitioning is on hold. We're much too occupied with money problems, moving to Ohio, a job interview I have in a couple of weeks, and her pregnancy... not to mention we're still working through a lot of issues between us.
I love her, and I love our children, but it's hard to give up what I really want to be. I keep trying to convince myself that I'm not TRULY trans.. maybe I'm just a "highly sensitive person." Maybe this, maybe that. But it doesn't go away.
Anyway, I'm back. I'm a pretty cool person if you're looking for a new friend.. I'm a college professor and a semi-professional sports blogger, and I'll be in Columbus at some point in the next couple of months. I'd love to talk to anyone who cares to listen and be listened to.
