ArticleAt a recent family affair, my philistine cousin was complaining about the gay sex shops in the West Village. He recently moved to New York and finds the openly gay culture "offensive" and "abrasive." Feeling the need to defend the gay community (and being bisexual myself), I said, "Intolerance is rooted in fear. Maybe you're afraid that one day you'll be attracted to a guy." His response: "If the guy had breasts and didn't have a penis and looked like a woman, then maybe I would." He could have been describing a transsexual. "You see how gender is irrelevant?" I said. Ignoring my point, he reiterated his heterosexual pride: "I just want everyone to be like me. [...]" Of course I wanted to slap him, but I found enlightenment in his insulting comments. My cousin is an extreme example of the human tendency to perceive gender as a fixed state of being, attached to expected qualities and behaviors.
