Today I went to a baptism and afterwards everyone gathered at the Grandma's house for a picnic. I was thrilled when my friends (the baptized baby's parents) invited me and I'd been looking forward to it for weeks. Everything was going just fine, I felt I was totally passing and there was this super cute guy there and I was just waiting for an opportunity to ask my friend about him while talking to her husband when the afternoon got really weird:
I'm talking to the husband (who is an old army buddy of mine) when someone grabs my hand and I turn thinking maybe it's the cutie but instead it's this short, redneck (we're talking work boots, dungarees, plain tree camo coveralls and a nasty old ball cap complete with fish hooks in it), French-Canadian at least 20 years older than me and he's holding my hand and cliche of cliche's he kisses the back of it and starts trying all his pick up lines out on me, none of which I can remember because I was mortified. I could feel my face burning the whole time and it seemed like he went on forever and all I could do was shake my head and think 'my God he doesn't know but if he doesn't let go of my hand soon he's going to figure it out and then I'm in deep trouble'. I was really, really scared.
I was saved by my army buddy who distracted him with beer but this guy kept after me until finally I had to leave. I mean he wanted me to go and see his cow...I'm serious, this is what passes for romance in rural Quebec; taking your best girl to gaze lovingly at your best cow. The other women were just rolling their eyes and telling me not to worry about him because he's a terrible skirt ->-bleeped-<- and has a particular thing for tall women. Then they told me a story about how last year he picked up a girl...at his Dad's funereal! And then took her home to have a three way with his wife! I am totally serious.
Okay so I made light of the situation, although sadly I did not exaggerate at all, but the truth is that I was really scared. I'd actually been thinking a lot recently about how much learning I had to do to catch up with the gg women my age but I hadn't considered it from this angle until today. Before I was thinking that I didn't even know how to braid my hair or flirt with a guy, or tell when a guy was flirting with me but that stuff is all frivilous and pleasant while this is serious. How do you get away from a creepy guy, how do you let someone know you aren't interested gently?
I realize looking back that it was funny and I was perfectly safe with all those people there but at the time I was scared. I also realize that my questions are kind of stupid but I can't stop asking them to myself none the less.
