Scary Lesson Learned

[K8]

Knowing it is good.  Experiencing it is much more vivid.

If you're ever in a situation like Julie Marie's, head for a police station if possible.

My daughter was in a very scary situation where at first she couldn't think because she was too scared, but finally thought to herself: If a friend of mine was in this situation and asked for my advice, what would I tell her?  Then she did that.  (I've got a daughter who is much smarter than I am.)

Keep yourself safe.

- Kate

[tgirljuliewilson]

Walking back to my car after leaving a club in San Diego, alone, late at night.....is that guy following me?  How far to get to the car?  The heart starts trying to pound it's way out your chest.....

As a guy, I was well versed in the martial arts, full of confidence against any opponent.  As me, that confidence vaporizes (even though I think I could still handle myself if I had to).  That, and it's a lot different when wearing a skirt....

Pepper spray may work for some, but when I've seen it used, the cloud went pretty much everwhere, and even the one using the spray was caught up in the gasping/coughing/fight for air.  All in all, for me, anyway, the simple things are the safest: go with at least one friend, stay in very public areas, don't drink too much, etc.

It's also a good excuse for two girls to go to the ladies room together

[Hypatia]

If you're ever in a situation like Julie Marie's, head for a police station if possible.

Except-- What do you do when, as a trans woman, you're in even more danger from the police themselves?
E.g. http://questioningtransphobia.wordpress.com/2009/03/24/police-and-trans-women-of-color/

Police violence against us is real. No crime need be committed, either, as I described here, when I was beaten by the San Antonio cops many many years ago.
http://dmj618.livejournal.com/1297.html?thread=2577#t2577

I was laying injured in the road, and someone called the popo, thinking it would make it all better.

popo isn't ur friend if ur a twoc.

[FairyGirl]

Walking back to my car after leaving a club in San Diego, alone, late at night.....is that guy following me?  How far to get to the car?  The heart starts trying to pound it's way out your chest.....

As a guy, I was well versed in the martial arts, full of confidence against any opponent.  As me, that confidence vaporizes (even though I think I could still handle myself if I had to).  That, and it's a lot different when wearing a skirt....

Pepper spray may work for some, but when I've seen it used, the cloud went pretty much everwhere, and even the one using the spray was caught up in the gasping/coughing/fight for air.  All in all, for me, anyway, the simple things are the safest: go with at least one friend, stay in very public areas, don't drink too much, etc.

It's also a good excuse for two girls to go to the ladies room together

lol you said it sister, on all points. This incident has greatly increased my situational awareness as a female but there are times, like when you have to walk to your car at night in a parking lot, when certain situations are unavoidable. I do think learning a little self-defense is a good idea, or at least some good groin kicking techniques.

[Genevieve Swann]

In many places it would not make a difference if you're male or female. It is good you were with someone else. It's a good idea to always travel in twos or more after dark. CindyJames is right about having a large purse or handbag to carry something for self defense. Maybe I'll get a long bag with a shoulder strap that says Nikon on it and instead of a tripod it will be a rocket propel grenade.

[Starr]

Maybe I'll get a long bag with a shoulder strap that says Nikon on it and instead of a tripod it will be a rocket propel grenade.

This reminds me of something I learned many years ago in a women's safety class. They say you shouldn't carry anything that would make it easy for someone to grab you. Keep your purse close to your body so they can't easily yank it to stop you (and to help keep someone from taking it). Ponytails are another thing someone could use to grab you. Not that you shouldn't carry a purse or not have a ponytail. Just things to be aware of.

[tekla]

Ponytails are another thing someone could use to grab you.

The time honored (since Rome at least) reason that the military loves short hair - also the reason that people in prison shave their heads.

[FairyGirl]

I haven't had a short haircut in over 15 years so forget that lol I think Starr had a good idea with taking a women's safety class.

Bleeding-heart-liberal li'l ol' country girl me does actually own a big honkin' firearm but I'd be afraid it would just get taken away from me, and besides I would never carry it on me in any case. I wonder if they make those nice pumps I like with steel toes? hmmm...

[tekla]

I wonder if they make those nice pumps I like with steel toes? hmmm...

Not that I've found, no Mary-Janes either, or steel toed ballet shoes, but lots of sneakers.

[K8]

Except-- What do you do when, as a trans woman, you're in even more danger from the police themselves?
E.g. http://questioningtransphobia.wordpress.com/2009/03/24/police-and-trans-women-of-color/

And that's a big reason I didn't transition 25 years ago.  Times are a little different now, at least in the parts of the world where I've been transitioning.  I'm still a bit wary, though.

it's a lot different when wearing a skirt....

A GG friend told me that whenever alone in the very early morning or in the evening or night, never wear anything I can't run in.

Bleeding-heart-liberal li'l ol' country girl me does actually own a big honkin' firearm but I'd be afraid it would just get taken away from me, and besides I would never carry it on me in any case.

Other than being raised a city girl, I agree with all of this.  Except I am willing to use it if push comes to shove.   (My hunting/fishing/outdoorsy/politically-conservative big male friend, with whom I have almost nothing in common, has been very helpful. )

- Kate