I feel a little rude making a second specific post for this and, well, it feels a bit like bragging, but I'm just, happy.
Now, I'm so rarely happy I usually don't know what to do with it, I just get confused, but since knowing my husband and partner in all things, I've at least experienced it often enough to know what it is now.
And right now, I'm happy.
I worked myself up into a horrible ball of nerves about seeing the psychiatrist. The what ifs that ran through my mind ranged from "what if he just doesn't believe me?" to "what if I'm not man enough?" to "what if I end up understating things, effectively destroying my chances to being taken serious, again..?" and so on and so forth.
And so I walked into his office, feeling three feet tall and somewhat nauseous, sat down, and we went over the broad strokes of what my life is like at the moment. My dating history, my job, my family, my daughter, my body, my relationship with my body, the way I see my trans-ness, what I "want" to do and how and why and where and so on.
And I was honest... for the most part. I emphasized the things I felt were important ofcourse, just like any living, sentient being would, and I downplayed things that I didn't want to associate myself with, ofcourse, like any living, sentient being, would. I was more honest than I had expected myself to be.
And I got my reward.
In signing a piece of paper, I am "officially" transitioning now.
I have to pop back to Reykjavík and talk to the other members of the committee, be interviewed some more. Meet the team of doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, gynos, and more. And undergo a complete psychiatric evaluation, including an IQ test. (Which I'm actually looking forward to!)
And then, since I seem sane enough, serious, intelligent, and well read, I was told I could more or less expect to have my "one year RLT" cut down by some months. I don't know how many, but... I've got this feeling like this year I might get the greatest Christmas/Yule/WinterSolstice/WhateverYouCelebrate present that any man could ever dream to get.
I feel like I'm finally moving.
Finally getting somewhere.
The Pshychiatrist all but told me that I could get on T sooner if I'd go around the system and get it myself, or have top surgery (And pay for it myself).. which makes me feel like I've been told that the "when" is more my choice than theirs. Which obviously feels brilliant!
I know this is a big "hooray!" post and so it can be tough to read for some of you, and I'm sorry and I understand that completely, as it's been tough for me to watch people get their transitions started, and get "somewhere" with them, but I just have to write this..
I half want to climb up ontop of a building and shout it out to the world even.
A ton of bricks off my panicky shoulders.
