What is the allure of passing yourself off with somebody else's picture?

[Kaitlyn]

My picture is all me, no one else would want it

[Ell]

whoa whoa whoa.  You're NOT a cartoon character?

*sigh* back to the drawing board.

hi SarahFaceDoom. Lain is not a cartoon character, she is an anime character.

though much anime is absurd, some of it runs very deeply into cyberpunk, which i just love.

-ell

[Luc]

Issues like this are part of why I finally did a youtube vid and posted it in my blog on here. I'm not ashamed of who I am... if someone who knows me, but doesn't know I'm trans, happens upon my picture on this site or any other which indicated I'm trans, so be it.

However, this topic makes me think of a particular transwoman I know, or knew, who did post someone's else's pic and claim it was her own. After a time of showing her real picture, she began telling folks she'd had breast augmentation and FFS, and used a picture of a friend of hers, a model. She told everyone that she'd had incredible success through surgery, and was now doing modeling and acting jobs. A year or so after this began, she arranged to meet me and my wife for drinks. Nearly needless to say, she'd had no surgery, and was quite obviously NOT the woman from the pictures.

Of course, she gave no explanation for this, nor even brought it up. However, the harm is apparent, when I see an old picture of the woman she claimed to be, followed by comments from other transwomen as to how jealous they were, how they felt inferior because she'd had such tremendous results, and they hadn't. Obviously, I have no problem with those folks who either don't post their pictures on this or other sites, or who post celebrities' pictures... as long as they're not purporting those pictures to be their own.

SD

[tekla]

Not even Lindsay Lohan looks that hot.

As the current show biz joke goes, Lindsay Lohan looks smoking hot for a 40 year old woman, too bad she's 25.

[barbie]

Of course, she gave no explanation for this, nor even brought it up. However, the harm is apparent, when I see an old picture of the woman she claimed to be, followed by comments from other transwomen as to how jealous they were, how they felt inferior because she'd had such tremendous results, and they hadn't. Obviously, I have no problem with those folks who either don't post their pictures on this or other sites, or who post celebrities' pictures... as long as they're not purporting those pictures to be their own.

Several years ago, posting my own photos in some TG sites in my country provoked a few of M2F transsexuals. They posted messages straightforwardly saying that they are just upset and can not endure the fact that my body line is more feminine them despite their long-time effort. I knew first from them that M2F TS are so much occupied in delicate lines of body in photo. Even some of them insisted that I am not transgender, but a kind of sexual pervert, as I do not plan to take HRT or SRS.

Finally, one of them posted my old family photo taken from my home page. I contacted Korean cyber police team, but did not get much help. I just closed my home page, and left TG sites in Korea to avoid further fusses.

Yes. Because I provoked them by my photos, they revenged by the same photos.

I like this site, as no TS showed any hostile feeling to me. I think transgenders in Korea are still developing their identities, concepts and careers to be accpeted in pulbic. Except a few famous TS entertainers, most of m2f transsexuals here are working in transgender bar at night. I am sympathetic to them, and do not want to provoke them by my own photos, although I am an extreme exhibitionismist.

Barbie~~

[Luc]

I see no problem with putting up your own pictures, even if you might be a little more "passable" than other transfolk. But putting up a pic of a bio guy or girl and saying it's you, to the detriment of those who see it, is pretty reprehensible, in my opinion.

I've been accused by a few people online of not putting my own pictures up, because I guess I had pretty quick results on T. It's just a matter of different people, different reactions to hormones, different bodies. I figure, as long as you're honest about it, no harm done.

SD

[tekla]

Yeah, but as I said about 'avatars' - oh why do I bother? - it's not supposed to be you.  That is is fine, but I know what Grace Kelly looked like and never thought that was the person behind the posts, largely because Grace Kelly is dead and is not getting better in the near future.

[Tristan]

this is all true. i never really gave it much thought, just posted my pic and went on with it. but then again my family and job already know so i have very little to worry about with the whole pic thing. i just wish i was as host as some of the others on this site. hum.. about time to add some new pics of me i guess?

[flygirl82]

Grace Kelly. The queen of monaco, exactly like the move swan or something. She was once my idol when I was teens. She looks classical.

Yes. Photo can cause a lot of fuss at your work place. Somebody else posted my own photo some place in the internet. And more than 200,000 people saw it, and finally I also saw it. I will not say in detail what happened at my work place. Just saying I am now fine. I prefer sites in English, as few Koreans will visit there.

Barbie~~

I dont believe Grace Kelly was a queen.  she was her Serene Highness The Princess of Monaco ;-p  I love monaco though its a beautiful country.

[Ell]

Yeah, but as I said about 'avatars' - oh why do I bother?

you bother to make an effort because, since you can't really overcome the shortcomings of others, you just, um, have to learn a little acceptance. we, as queers, do not want to face endless discrimination, but we know that it happens, but it hurts more when it is in the form of condescension from one among us.

[MasterAsh]

I don't think an allure exists to them. Some people simply don't think enough ahead to the point where they must explain to someone the picture isn't them. . .Or they plan to pull the "Why does it matter what I look like?" card after revealing it's not them. 

But given time and enough writing it's possible to glean some stuff, people reveal far more then they think they are when they write.

Mmm hmm.

[Julie Marie]

Well, there certainly is a lot of people who are afraid about something when it comes to posting their real picture as their avatar.

All I know from personal experience is every fear I had never came to fruition. I've had my photo posted to at least ten different forums over the last six or so years and there's never been one instance when it hurt me in any way. In fact, there's never been any time anyone said they saw my pic on a forum (before or after coming out), and I've posted a LOT of pictures.

And if you haven't seen them, you just proved my point.

And if you have seen those pics it's because you were on a TRANSGENDER SITE!!! 

And we all know no one NORMAL goes there.

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself" or something like that...  Anyone got a beer?

Julie

[Syne]

Just to set the record straight (well as much as possible when dealing with me):


I am not a rabbit. In particular a comic bunny.


That is all.

[tekla]

The old joke about going to gay bars was "What if I see someone I know, what will they think?"  And the answer was "What were they doing in a gay bar?"

[Lori]

Well, that's the problem, isn't it?  I mean, if we don't post our pictures online, we're normally accused of being "ashamed" of what we are as if our being a woman (or female) were an exercise in shame or a cover up to hide our other-than-woman/female identity.  I don't understand it, but whatever!

If we post our pictures online, we might also be accused of using someone else's pictures since some of us have also been fortunate enough to assimilate quite well into the world as our true gender, so the way I see it, it's a no-win situation.  We might as well be quiet and move on.

I think its best to actually meet somebody well respected on the forum in real life and that would stop most of the BS that goes on. Also I find that most people who tend to bark the loudest have the most to hide. They do that to draw attention away from themselves like Ted Haggard and his anti gay campaign. I would consider the source of the accuser before I worried about it.

I think, to answer Nero's question, is people do that kind of thing because they want to be like that person but don't want to go through the crap to look like them. It is hard work and is mentally and physically exhausting on the body. It is faster to grab somebodies pic and use that. I could never do that. I won't even post my own pic because I'm too fat, insecure, and mentally not confident enough about myself. I have shared with a few close friends in case the issue ever comes up though.

[finewine]

[...]
I think, to answer Nero's question, is people do that kind of thing because they want to be like that person but don't want to go through the crap to look like them. [...]

Yup and if I understood correctly, he was referring to people actually claiming a pic is them, when it is not (as happens on, say, dating site profiles for example) - rather then just what goes in an avatar.

A general comment: An avatar is just an avatar - it doesn't have to be you and having something else there doesn't mean you're hiding anything.  I don't think anyone here is seriously suggesting an avatar should be a self pic, are they?

Love,
Jumping Elephant. That's me.  Really, it is.  Would you like to feel my trunk?

[Hannah]

I am actually the Blue Fairy, and if you ask nicely Finewine I will make you a real boy.

[finewine]

I am actually the Blue Fairy, and if you ask nicely Finewine I will make you a real boy.

Aww I feel like Pinocchio now!  When I asked for a wood that grows longer, I had something else in mind...*childish grin*

[Ms Bev]

Yes, I have to agree (I don't have to....I just will)....If you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't gamble.  So, if showing your pic here is a gamble that might cost you a job, or a relationship, don't.....unless it's important enough for you to do so. 

Renate....I've seen you progress since you first came here.  Yes, I have met one of the people here in person, spent most of a day   A wonderful day.  If you are anywhere nearby and are up for lunch, or coffee, a peaceful walk....whatever, I, or Marcy and I would be delighted!  We're in Maryland.


Bev
The avatar is Marcy's soul mate, on any ordinary day

[Renate]

Gosh, again! <blush>