Kicked off a dating site for being trans.

[Ellieka]

I've been wanting to start testing the waters a bit and meet new people and maybe start dating again so I created an account at plentyoffish. I only mention the name of the site so others here can tell if they have experienced the same thing.

So anyway, I've had an account there for just under a week. I got a few hits from some guys that didn't seem too scary and I was thinking about messaging them back. I was very open in my profile and made it very clear in no uncertain terms that I was transgendered and I stated that I wanted to get that bit of information out there so that any one reading my profile would know from the get go. I was very clean and respectful and had two pictures that where in no way pornographic or suggestive. I made it clear that I was only interested in dating at this point and not looking for intimate encounters. I answered all the question honestly and left none unanswered.

So today I go to log in and I can't. I tried a few times thinking maybe I used one of my less common passwords. No luck. So I submit a request for my password to be emailed to me only to be informed by email that my account had been deleted for false information.

So in short. I was banned for not being a "real" woman.

Has anyone else here been subjected to this? 

[Lachlann]

Ouch~.

I guess the best thing you could do is find another site or talk to the webmaster.

[Lisbeth]

Plenty of Fish Complaints
http://www.complaintsboard.com/bycompany/plenty-of-fish-a88855.html

[Ellieka]

I was a little miffed but I'm not going to loose sleep over it. When it comes to "free" dating sites, you get what you pay for.

[Janet_Girl]

Sorry about that. Sis.  I was now another site and never had a problem.  I even stated up front that I was an Male to Female Transsexual and still got hits.  But most were looking for a 'quicky', not my scene.

There are several TS sites, but most are meat markets.  There is only one and I have not got but three hits and they died quickly.  But now I don't have to worry, I have my Baby.


Janet

[Lisbeth]

Bear in mind that plentyoffish has only three employees, so they feel they can pretty much make the rules as they go along. Talking to the webmaster is probably useless if other people's experience is any indicator.

[Ellieka]

But now I don't have to worry, I have my Baby.
Janet

YAY! 

Bear in mind that plentyoffish has only three employees, so they feel they can pretty much make the rules as they go along. Talking to the webmaster is probably useless if other people's experience is any indicator.

Yep, not even going to waste my time. I get plenty of hits form myspace and other sites without even trying so one site isn't going to make me feel less confidant

[Mister]

Bastards!

So Cami, I'm almost done making dinner.  Wanna come over?   

[finewine]

There are so many dating sites out there that the world can do without another one...but I do wonder if there would be value in a dating site run by the TG community for the TG community (i.e. focus on TG folks, not excluding non-TG suitors).  There's probably a bunch out there already though.  I wouldn't know...never needed to look

[NicholeW.]

Bastards!

So Cami, I'm almost done making dinner.  Wanna come over?   

There are so many dating sites out there that the world can do without another one...but I do wonder if there would be value in a dating site run by the TG community for the TG community (i.e. focus on TG folks, not excluding non-TG suitors).  There's probably a bunch out there already though.  I wouldn't know...never needed to look

Dawgs! Dawgs I say! All men are dawgs, blue-tick hounddawgs!

[Ellieka]

Bastards!

So Cami, I'm almost done making dinner.  Wanna come over?   

LOL! if only you weren't on the other side of the country... I'd be on you like a hobo on a ham sandwich! 

There are so many dating sites out there that the world can do without another one...but I do wonder if there would be value in a dating site run by the TG community for the TG community (i.e. focus on TG folks, not excluding non-TG suitors).  There's probably a bunch out there already though.  I wouldn't know...never needed to look

I have actually seriously considered setting one up under a subdomain on my site but I worry that moderating it would be a chore. There is one that I was a member of for a few weeks but its over run by mostly people with fetishes looking for sex or wanting to play dress up and pose for the camera in their underwear.

If there was a site exclusively for transgender dating and non trans suitors I would be interested. I am pansexual but I would much prefer another transman or transwoman.

[Janet_Girl]

Been there and done that.  A bunch of ->-bleeped-<-s and escorts to my mind.

Janet

[Mister]

hahaha...  i am most certainly off the market, cami, as i imagine you will be soon, no thanks to that BS website.

[finewine]

I have actually seriously considered setting one up under a subdomain on my site but I worry that moderating it would be a chore. There is one that I was a member of for a few weeks but its over run by mostly people with fetishes looking for sex or wanting to play dress up and pose for the camera in their underwear.

Yup you're absolutely right - the hosting isn't the problem (I have my own tier-1 facilities from some hosting business of my own), it's the screening and moderation.  I wonder what methods we could think of that would be sufficiently effective?

I'd like it to be a free service, but requiring a $0.01 payment via a credit card prior to logging/responding is one way to verify identity and try to deter some those who aren't serious - of course this can deter legitimate users too and anyone who would be distrustful of revealing their card/identity no matter what security precautions were in place.

A lighter weight but unreliable method would be to require ISP based email addresses that can be tied to a person (i.e. no hotmail, gmail, etc.).  It's always going to be a tradeoff between useability and reassurance/security.

I don't think any of these would lessen the moderation overhead - although this assumes such a site would attract enough attention in the first place

[Mister]

A lighter weight but unreliable method would be to require ISP based email addresses that can be tied to a person (i.e. no hotmail, gmail, etc.).  It's always going to be a tradeoff between useability and reassurance/security

well that wouldn't work for people who steal wifi, use the connection at the coffee shop etc.

[finewine]

well that wouldn't work for people who steal wifi, use the connection at the coffee shop etc.

It's not access to the network that's the issue, it's the email address you register with.

[ilikepotatoes]

It's ironic. I went to Calpernia Addam's site just a minute ago and there was a banner ad for plentyoffish.com at the bottom of her home page.

[V M]

Although I haven't dated for quite awhile and don't really think about it very often, I think if we had a dating site connected with Susan's it would be pretty cool.

Folks would know upfront who they're talking to and there would be rules to keep it from becoming a meat market.

Sometimes I'd like to find a special someone. But finding anyone my age around where I live is rather challenging.

[Mister]

It's not access to the network that's the issue, it's the email address you register with.

That's what I'm saying.  Those who do not have ISP accounts have no ISP email addresses from which to register for your imaginary TG dating site.

[Ellieka]

I wonder what methods we could think of that would be sufficiently effective?

I wonder if have a "request for contact" feature would be helpful? When a member wishes to make contact with another member they would need to request permission from the site admin/moderator to initiate contact with other members. That might help deter predators and fetishist. Or would that be an excessive moderation burden?