The requirements and SOC

[tekla]

In fact, with a nod to Booker T, who was an amazing man, my GF is Hispanic.  And she has a lot of her cousins/nephews/nieces/aunts all on Facebook doing that farm thing, and I remark from time to time how funny it is that their parents and grandparents worked so hard to get out of the fields and keep them out of the fields, and here they all are asking each other to harvest their farms.  You can't write comedy like that.

[tekla]

Well it is a lot cleaner and less sweaty then working a real farm, for sure on that.

// lived in Iowa for years
/// on a farm

[Osiris]

One thing to remember is that online interactions are veeeery different from in person interaction. And how people see you will play a big role in how they're going to react to you. You're never going to experience that until you're face to face.

[Miniar]

There's no guarantee that the "straight women" you've learned to have a relationship with in SL are straight women in real life, and even if they are, there's no guarantee that straight women want to be treated in reality the way they want to be treated in SL.

[Mister]

Relationships on the internet are NOTHING LIKE relationships in real life.

What's my familiarity with SL?  I used to work for LL.  I'd like to say I'm pretty damn familiar.  I don't have the time nor interest to have a fake job (or one that pays $2/hr) and a fake relationship with someone across the globe.  Instead I'd rather go to my real job and come home to my real flesh & blood lady.

[Nimetön]

Secondlife has taught me to have a relationship with a straight woman. To understand the needs that she desire. To understand what a bio man feels when he needs to work for his woman and to pay the bills. Yes In SL you need to apply for work to get income to pay for your tiers and rent that you rez your house on. You can also use your real life money. SL is a simulation for me. It's the first step to take that first walk to manhood.

whether or not you agree to this plan... it's helping me for building courage for Improving my self esteem.

I'm sorry to have to be this brutal, but having enough time online over the years, I'd like to offer a few comparisons.

In Second Life, you set your appearance, and you can be anything that the software can tolerate.  In First Life, you wear common work clothes and short hair (because if you dress like a girl, working men can't trust you) and you learn to live with the rest.

In Second Life, people talk about you behind your back, and some people might not talk to you for it.  In First Life, people talk about you behind your back, and some people might not hire you for it.

In Second Life, if the guy who runs your workplace finds you spooky or disruptive, you might get banned from the area.  In First Life, you're fired, search for months for a new job with few skills in a very rough recession/depression economy, go slowly into debt and ruin your credit, and perhaps end up homeless.

In Second Life, you can walk away from her if she's crazy, or simply disconnect from the server.  In First Life, she can stalk you, get you fired, and if she can get you alone for even a few minutes, she can file a false accusation against you that will follow you for decades.

In Second Life, if you walk into the wrong area and people think that you look like a freak, you might be harassed.  In First Life, if you walk into the wrong area and people think that you look like a freak, you might be seriously injured.

There's nothing wrong with confidence-building exercises, but we're all fairly worried that you could learn lessons on Second Life that don't apply to First Life.  Those lessons could get you hurt.  Other than that, there's nothing wrong with a video game, and when you're ready for the real thing, I hope that you adapt well to it and succeed in your transition.

- N

[Teknoir]

In first life, walking around in the dark you can stub your toe. In second life, walking around in the dark you could be eaten by a grue.

What? No grues? Pffft.... lame.

We're being harsh because we care. We're trying to give you the benefit of our experiance, as we've been in that "starting out" phase ourselves. No, we're not telling you what you want to hear, we're telling you what you need to hear.

Put down the game and go outside. The game does not accurately simulate real life. You are taking in inaccurate data.

The "lessons" you're learning on second life are setting you up for some nasty knocks to the ego when you do eventually go outside.


To answer your question regarding the SOC and RLE -

For RLE you need to be either working, or in full time study (at a campus with other students, think school or college) for 3 months as your target sex.

Second Life doesn't count.

Sitting around your house doesn't count.

Being eaten by a grue while wearing a suit doesn't count.

[Hector]

Well, if you don't feel prepared for RLE, so just start psychotherapy.
Second life maybe can help you to bring out your male part, but Second Life is not life. It's just a bunch of bit, something in your head, but real life is outside.

I mean, watching sunsets, going to beach, cuddling with the loved one, maybe being treated bad from someone for being transgender but after taking your revenge, being yourself.
Second life could be good for you to get used to be a male, and to understand if you really feel a male but, well, if you play for a year at second life, you have only lost one year of your life.
I play and I played a lot with games like this, and the only thing I understand is that I lost a lot of time. Life is not forever, so passing your life doing such thing is, well, a waste.

I repeat, if you're afraid of RLE, start going to a therapist, but don't search for real life in a computer, because it isn't in there.
And, just for your information, I study computer science, so I know what I'm saying.

[GamerJames]

Hi

I understand how maybe you felt that some of the comments to this thread might have been judging you or being harsh or critical of your reasoning, but I really do believe that everyone here is trying to be helpful. They all word it in different ways and if you're already feeling unsure about a topic, you might not see that they're trying to answer your question in a thorough and sincere way, instead of just saying "nope, doesn't count" (and leaving it at that) or "oh sure, I guess that'd be fine" (and not really meaning it).

Although it's sometimes hard to take that kind of advice, I guarantee you, you'll get much better results than with either the "brush off" or the "insincere platitude" methods.

And for my own perspective, I can tell you that even though I have not played Second Life, I am an avid gamer (in fact, I'm not sure if "avid" really quite hits the mark, as video games are one of the things I'm incredibly passionate about). That being said, one of my favorite things about video games (besides the technological and design standpoints - yeah, I'm a big geek) is that it's an activity that can bring several of my different groups of friends together in one big loud mass of laughing, smacktalking, competitive but good-natured people.

I don't think that anyone here (especially not myself) is telling you to avoid video games completely, we're just cautioning you not to play them to the *exclusion* of living real life. If you're playing them as *part* of your well-rounded and fulfilling life, then you'll get to enjoy both the games AND having meaningful interactions with other people in real social situations. Think of video games as the "dessert" of life. If you have a little dessert from time to time in addition to your four-squares, then you're doing alright. On the other hand, if you're subsisting on chocolate bars, cookies and cake, and only having real food on the odd occasion, you'll be incredibly unhealthy and only be doing damage to yourself.

Anyhow I hope that our words will reassure you that real life is worth living authentically, and that we're doing you more favors by telling it to you straight than by glossing over the pits and the bumps by just telling you what's easier to hear.