The requirements and SOC

[Matthew J. F]

I'm reading the HBSOC under requirements for hormone therapy

It mentions as a part of the requirements:
Either a documented real life experience should be undertaken for at least three months prior to the administration of hormones.

I had opened up a Secondlife account about year ago and since then I've been playing the role as a bio male (have male skin/shape) and encountered a couple of relationships with women. Does this count as a real life experience?

[Renate]

I had opened up a Secondlife account...

Nope, you are confusing the internet with reality.
Try going to work presenting and identifying as a man.
That's real life.

The requirements are actually:

a. A documented real-life experience of at least three months prior to the administration of hormones; or
b. A period of psychotherapy of a duration specified by the mental health professional after the initial evaluation (usually a minimum of three months).

[Mister]

First off, the SOC are guidelines, not rules.  If you don't want to do RLE, negotiate it with your doctor/therapist or find somewhere you can transition WITHOUT the SOC.  You know, the places where you act as an adult and assume responsibility for what you're doing rather than spend a ton of time paying a bunch of other people to do it for you.


And it's a REAL LIFE test, not a persona on the internet test.

[myles]

Talk to your therapist who is going to give you the letter or whoever is going to give you the hormones and see what they have to say. Better than guessing and  losing "transition time" guessing what they are going to require.
Cheers,
Myles

[tekla]

I had opened up a Secondlife account about year ago and since then I've been playing the role as a bio male (have male skin/shape) and encountered a couple of relationships with women. Does this count as a real life experience?

No comment, really.

[Matthew J. F]

Thank you guys for replying to my post. I know some of you guys think it's weird for me to use SL but the fact is that it's teaching me to act like a man and to be one too. I feel very comfortable doing it that way too... I guess it's like the beginning of a whole new change of life for me. When I learn to be a man on SL I will use the knowledge that I have and use it for the real world.

My biggest challenge of all is to acknowledge my deepest secret to my friends and family. I'm fearful of losing both of my friends and probably most of my family members but that is what I need to accept in order to live this kind of life, the one that I was suppose to be living.

I do not have a therapist at this time. I'm hoping to find one that deals with these kind of things that will accept my insurance. I'm on a fix income.

[tekla]

When I learn to be a man on SL I will use the knowledge that I have and use it for the real world.

Sorry, you're delusional.  It will no more teach you real life skills than having cybersex will teach you how to fark the homecomming queen.  The only way to learn about the real world is to get out and do it because it can't be controlled, you can't turn it off, and it really, really hurts.

There is a post recently where one FtM said something to the effect that as scary as it was to have guys trying to pick her up when she was a she, now that he is a he, its a lot scarier.  When someone in Second Life can really reach out and smack you, or when they can convince the boss that they would be better than you are and get your job, then it might be real training.

[Mister]

Sorry, but there's no way that Second Life teaches you how to be a man. 

[sneakersjay]

Nobody wants to come out.

It hurts.

It puts you in the spotlight.  People can and do say well-meaning but disrespectful things.  Some people are downright mean.

Getting out there as yourself is scary, knowing people are going to stare, question your gender, and maybe even snicker behind your back (or to your face).

We can't transition in a bubble.  It would be nice if we all could hide away at home and live life via our computer screens (have you seen Wall E?)  And yeah, many of us do spend lots of time on line.  But it's no substitute for living in the real world and interacting with family, friends, strangers, coworkers, feeling the rain on your skin, the heat of the pavement, and hearing the rustle of leaves.

Ultimately, those of us who transition do so not because we're brave, but because there becomes no alternative.

Jay

[Matthew J. F]

tekla,
I take your post extremely offensive and I find it rather rude too. This is the kind of crap that I'm trying to avoid. I didn't come here to be criticized and to be called crazy. I thought that I get full support for what I'm about to do, not be called down right crazy, as you just now labeled me as being "Delusional".

If you only think people came to SL to just have sex then you are very narrow minded. People come for all kinds of reasons, not just to have sex. that kind of thinking is rather silly if you ask me.

That one FTM had a bad experience... doesn't make SL a scary environment. So far I'm having a great experience. I'm meeting new and interesting people of all races and cultures. The Internet all together is a scary place and the only way to survive is to not allow the Internet to leak into your RL. If you're stupid enough to give out your address/Phone number to someone over the net that you don't even know... well you deserve what is about to come.

Mister, Thats only in your opinion bro. It may not have helped you to be a man but it certainly help others like myself who's afraid to show their real form In real life.. By the way theirs many FTM and MTF people on Secondlife so it's obviously helping them.  Go checkout this website http://sltrc.pbworks.com/ you may actually find it useful and hopefully will change your opinion.

[Sarah Louise]

Lets tone it down a little bit, there is no need to overreact.

No one said the only reason for SL was cybersex.

But remember, SL is a game.  I know several people who go there and seem to enjoy it, that is fine.  But what you do hidden behind an internet IP address has little to do with real everyday life.

The only way to get Real Life Experience is to do it in real life.

Sarah L.

[Mister]

Ok, i'll play..

Secondlife could possibly teach you how to, erm, type like a man... whatever that means.  Does it teach you what to do when some guy gets pissed off that you took his parking space? or when he thinks you're flirting with his girlfriend?  How about handling all-male environments?  Barber shop, men's room, etc? 

Not so much.  SL might make you think you're living your "life" as a "man," but as Tekla said-- you turn that off, walk outside and you are nothing but who you are. 

[Jeatyn]

The Internet all together is a scary place and the only way to survive is to not allow the Internet to leak into your RL.

This quote is exactly the point of everyone in this thread.

The real world is MUCH scarier than the internet, and RLE is to determine if you have what it takes to live in your desired gender. Even someone with a female identity could be a male character on second life/the sims/WoW if they wanted to, it means nothing in the real world.

Just because you pass 100% and get accepted as male on Second Life it doesn't mean you will be in the real world and you will not be prepared for what transition is like.

Using Second Life as an online social environment and a game is fine, but if you want to transition you will have to get over your fears and come out properly - unless you have the option to lock yourself away from everyone while you wait for T to work it's magic, get surgery in secret, and emerge back in to society as a full blown man.

[Hannah]

tekla,
I take your post extremely offensive and I find it rather rude too.

That's why we pay her the big bucks darlin, to tell it like it is. We are on your side, really, but support does not necessarily mean just telling someone what they want to hear. I've been there and done that, not secondlife but a similar planet. It's a good way to deal with your internal workings, I agree, but you can burn up a lot of time because it's so comfortable and safe. At some point please turn it off and come play with the rest of us out in the yard. It's scarier and dangerous but also indescribably rewarding.

[Miniar]

I like Second Life... but it's nowhere near "real life".

[sneakersjay]

My daughter is finally realizing that friendships on the net don't translate to real life.  They talk and talk about meeting and about how fun it will be....until the plans get made.  Then typical of internet relationships, as the date approaches, the friendship disintigrates and the meeting never happened.  I've broached the subject that not all people on the net are who they seem, or say they are, but she's still overly optimistic.

Jay

P.S. *(note for the parenting police)  These were not 'dates' and were going to be family meets, not a one-on-one meet in a dark alley

[Jeatyn]

My daughter is finally realizing that friendships on the net don't translate to real life.  They talk and talk about meeting and about how fun it will be....until the plans get made.  Then typical of internet relationships, as the date approaches, the friendship disintigrates and the meeting never happened.

This drives me crazy  I love meeting people online, but I actually want to...ya'know...MEET them. I've made so many plans that have been cancelled at the last second with lame excuses.

[Matthew J. F]

Mister,
I will play too..

Secondlife has taught me to have a relationship with a straight woman. To understand the needs that she desire. To understand what a bio man feels when he needs to work for his woman and to pay the bills. Yes In SL you need to apply for work to get income to pay for your tiers and rent that you rez your house on. You can also use your real life money. SL is a simulation for me. It's the first step to take that first walk to manhood.

whether or not you agree to this plan... it's helping me for building courage for Improving my self esteem.

If you don't mind me asking you Mister... Whats your experience with SL? how long have you been using SL?

Ok, i'll play..

Secondlife could possibly teach you how to, erm, type like a man... whatever that means.  Does it teach you what to do when some guy gets pissed off that you took his parking space? or when he thinks you're flirting with his girlfriend?  How about handling all-male environments?  Barber shop, men's room, etc? 

Not so much.  SL might make you think you're living your "life" as a "man," but as Tekla said-- you turn that off, walk outside and you are nothing but who you are.

[Miniar]

Secondlife has taught me to have a relationship with a straight woman. To understand the needs that she desire. To understand what a bio man feels when he needs to work for his woman and to pay the bills. Yes In SL you need to apply for work to get income to pay for your tiers and rent that you rez your house on. You can also use your real life money. SL is a simulation for me. It's the first step to take that first walk to manhood.

whether or not you agree to this plan... it's helping me for building courage for Improving my self esteem.

Courage and Self Esteem is good.. but beyond that.. SL doesn't really teach you anything.
Yes it's a "life" simulation, but life and SL are still Vastly different, to the point that the lessons learned do not apply easily to reality.

[tekla]

Secondlife has taught me to have a relationship with a straight woman.

And that attractive straight women your having a relationship with while posing as a bio guy is what?  A fat 45 year old guy who still lives in mom's basement?  Odds are...

Sorry, you're not leaning any of that.  Why not get a real job and support a real girl?

And that person I was talking about was not in second life, they were talking about just how scary it is to be perceived as a guy by other guys in real life, and the very real consequences of that.

My GF loves this facebook deal called Farmtown, and she's real good at it, which is not to say if I got her 40 acres and a mule she'd be the next Booker T. Washington.