I've been threatened...

[Chloe]

She won't just chill...She seriously is thinking about leaving me; I live in Ontario, California (Near Chino)

If ya not 18 you or mum are not going anywhere, not without consequences. Is that yer hair? If so tie it back, dress more *achm* inconspicuously and DO try to go along with the program! Have a 18 B party to attend with my *married w/kids spiritual advisers* "J" & "K",

will CI later . .

If she can get me into Jev, a ward or foster care then she wouldn't have to worry about me anymore! :\

STOP with the drama! We've got you now and it'll BE OK! In the meantime, some great music from Atlanta! (click "listen live" and I'm late!)

[Hannah]

I was just thinking the same thing, it's time for a cup of coffee and a deep breath 

[Inphyy]

I was just thinking the same thing, it's time for a cup of coffee and a deep breath 

I wish I could just be easy and relaxed but if you were under-aged, still developing, your parent(s) told you to get out or that they're sending you away...You would be kind of tense also! ._.

I don't know what to do, I'm in a panic state and I don't know what to do if I do get kicked out or sent away...I would have no where to live.

[yabby]

i am really sorry for what happened to you, hopefully better days will come.

[fae_reborn]

You actually are a pretty girl. You look happy. Never let anyone bring you down

Inphyy, I have to second Kyle here, you are very beautiful, in all of those photos.  Had I seen your photo out of the blue, I would've guessed that you were a gg (genetic girl)!  Don't ever let anyone, even family, tell you otherwise or bring you down.  If this is what you want for your own happiness and sanity, then fight for it.

I don't know what your financial situation is, but being a minor you probably have very few options.  I understand you're scared, trust me.  When I was your age I wasn't as brave as you are, I hid my true self until college, and then I blossomed (I'm 26 now).  Your mother and her boyfriend are obviously having a hard time dealing with this situation, and while they could be handling it better (they sound pretty hot headed to me), they are just reacting because gender transition (or gender issues in general) are not understood by most people.  So they react negatively towards anything that is perceived as different from the norm.  Try not to take it personally. 

If you have a friend, or other relative, who is ok with your gender issues (or at least not as hostile to them as your mother/her boyfriend), then see if you can go live with them (long-term, or until things cool down at home).  You may only be a minor, but you do have rights as a human being, and living in a hostile environment isn't healthy, for you or anyone.  Make sure you are safe, while there are kind people in this world, it is dangerous at times.  Please, take care of yourself first.

And Welcome to Susan's, this is a safe place so if you need us, we are here.

[xsocialworker]

As you are online, check the website for WestCare in Fresno. Also the UCSF has a program for TS teens.

[sd]

Foster care is not likely to take you just because your mom doesn't want you.
The state was overburdened before the financial issues, they don't need more kids.

They will however tell her to keep her boyfriend away from you. (I'm surprised no one has really dealt with this yet)
You may be able to file a restraining order on your own against him.

Talk to a school counselor, they can probably help you much more than we can. This should be your first place to go for help.


By the way, your moms fears, as mentioned are well founded.

[deviousxen]

To hell with your mom and that scumbag. That guy is never going to amount to anything, so just remember exactly HOW much of a loser he will ALWAYS be. Give up on caring about them until you have the LUXURY and time to bother with them; They will only drag you into their pit... And start carrying a taser. And screw Texas for good measure.... Really hard.


I know that its hard, and that was totally wrong and I can understand why you're so freaked out. Just try your best to get a scholarship to some college and get the hell out of there immediately.

[LordKAT]

foster care isn't necessarly a bad thing. It can get you out of a bad situation and get you a therapist as well as time for mom to cool off a bit.

[Suzy]

Inphyy,

Welcome to Susan's! 

You are an amazingly pretty girl.  You know who you are.  Don't let anyone tell you differently. 

Your mom's boyfriend has no parental rights there and does not even have the right to be in the home being abusive to anyone.  Do not assume the cops will be against you because you are trans.  You are not breaking any laws.

As hard as it is to believe, the fact that your mom is open to letting you dress and wear makeup is amazingly better than in some houses.  I know you don't feel good about your home right now, but hang on.  You have no idea how rough it can be out on your own.  There are some good resources in your area and before you know it you will be 18.  Susan's is a great place for when you need to blow off steam.  We have developed pretty thick hides.    So keep us in the loop, and trust me, you WILL get through this.

Hugs,
Kristi

[Inphyy]

Inphyy,

Welcome to Susan's! 

You are an amazingly pretty girl.  You know who you are.  Don't let anyone tell you differently. 

Your mom's boyfriend has no parental rights there and does not even have the right to be in the home being abusive to anyone.  Do not assume the cops will be against you because you are trans.  You are not breaking any laws.

As hard as it is to believe, the fact that your mom is open to letting you dress and wear makeup is amazingly better than in some houses.  I know you don't feel good about your home right now, but hang on.  You have no idea how rough it can be out on your own.  There are some good resources in your area and before you know it you will be 18.  Susan's is a great place for when you need to blow off steam.  We have developed pretty thick hides.    So keep us in the loop, and trust me, you WILL get through this.

Hugs,
Kristi

Right now my mom is so mad that she has abandoned me and my sister Corie (FtM) at home alone...I guess it's a good thing but when there's nothing to eat and it's to quiet--Things can get a little weird---But I think she is coming home on Sunday.

[yabby]

Right now my mom is so mad that she has abandoned me and my sister Corie (FtM) at home alone...I guess it's a good thing but when there's nothing to eat and it's to quiet--Things can get a little weird---But I think she is coming home on Sunday.

Home it is going to be better soon, maybe give it sometime to calm down.  There must be a youth LGBT  center or resources not far from where you live.  Give them a quick call explaining what happened and asking for help/advise. 

please keep us updated.

[Inphyy]

Home it is going to be better soon, maybe give it sometime to calm down.  There must be a youth LGBT  center or resources not far from where you live.  Give them a quick call explaining what happened and asking for help/advise. 

please keep us updated.

I live near the L.A.. LGBTQI Center, which I looked up on-line for their number, in-case she really does kick me out, I might be able to find some shelter...I just don't get why people have to be so hostile to those, who only just want acceptance.

[yabby]

I live near the L.A.. LGBTQI Center, which I looked up on-line for their number, in-case she really does kick me out, I might be able to find some shelter...I just don't get why people have to be so hostile to those, who only just want acceptance.

i would advise not to wait until you are kicked out to give them a call. It is always better to plan in advance than last minute.

[Inphyy]

i would advise not to wait until you are kicked out to give them a call. It is always better to plan in advance than last minute.

Well people do say things they don't mean when they are mad and when she comes back home, she might say sorry and didn't mean it. If I call them and make arrangements and it ended up I really didn't...It would mess things up.

[yabby]

Well people do say things they don't mean when they are mad and when she comes back home, she might say sorry and didn't mean it. If I call them and make arrangements and it ended up I really didn't...It would mess things up.

You have a valid point here. but i did not mean call them and prepare your luggage and then 5min later leave. If you feel you need to speak with someone it might help even if they don't know who you are and where you live.

Anyway true that people when angry say things they don't think it. i hope with time it gets better.  Just keep us updated how it is going. OK?

I keep this ninja bunny with you in case the boyfriend come back 

[Tammy Hope]

Oh, so many points here...

1. you are a very lovely girl. You are many steps ahead of many of us physically in that regard so count your blessings

2. Not to be critical but wearing THAT dress to school (unless it was some special dress up day) is begging for trouble, both at school and at home. Being who you are doesn't mean rubbing people's noses in it and being "loud" about it. If your mom has been as tolerant up to now as you describe, you have been BLESSED. it makes no sense to push for even more when so many of your sisters don't have so much as a sneaky pair of panties.

3. If she wants you to have counseling, even if she won't go herself, start with that - she may be open to it later. it sounds like a lot of her problem is listening to a bad influence (i.e. the boyfriend)

4. The school counselor advice is sound

5. See this page for a list of resources - I'm sure there are other pages out there:
http://www.transyouth.com/PAGE_11_Organizations_and_Shelters.html
Scroll down to the list for California and particularly the sub-list for LA

6. Do not let the threatened assault go unreported. it needs to be on record somewhere just in case things do escalate.

7. What about your sister? Is mom threatening to abandon her as well?

8. On a personal level, it's a very tricky thing for children to be pitted against a boyfriend. MOST mothers would kick the bf to the curb in such a conflict but when they don't, that sets up a situation in which you have to walk a fine line between appealing to her motherly instincts and seeming to be plotting against the bf.  there might not be a "win" in this situation. So it's up to you and sis to look into resources and advocates who can come to your aid.

[Janet_Girl]

Your Mom could lose you both if you are under 18, i think.  Most states have law about what the age is that you can be left alone without a parent or guardian.


Janet

[Inphyy]

Your Mom could lose you both if you are under 18, i think.  Most states have law about what the age is that you can be left alone without a parent or guardian.


Janet

But if she legally sends me to a group home or sends me to foster care or even Jev...Then she wouldn't be in trouble.

[fae_reborn]

But if she legally sends me to a group home or sends me to foster care or even Jev...Then she wouldn't be in trouble.

Maybe foster care or a group home, but I don't see how she could send you to Juvenile.  You haven't done anything illegal.