Families !!!

[lolli]

At an early age I knew I should of been born a girl but life tends to deal a cruel hand.
And to make matters worse for me our family being old with far too much inbreeding to keep the blood pure delt some of the males side effects.
Some males devoleped breasts ! and in others if there were only one male in it, for him he might not only have breasts but also he might not be able to sire children hence a line would die out.
This I am glad to say does not happen to all males and could very well miss out a generation.
My uncles had breasts which were removed and he cannot have children.
Where as it jumped to me and I have breasts and I can also have children.
I had the oppertunity to have them removed whilst I was in my teens but being a rebel and the black sheep of the family I didnt and now I have a firm pair of 40B breasts that some women would die for.
I spend alot of time training so I heve to wear crop tops but whilst out I am sure others see them and I am very concious of them.
It does not seem to put women off me, in fact it seems to bring out something in them.
I am 45 now though most people take me for early thirtes.
Its all the fear and heart rendering moments out on my moutain bike that keeps me young.
Back whilst a teen it was frowned upon in the eighties to change ones sex and now that I have commitments to others I have to put my true self on hold.
This I know is tearing me apart mentaly.
Lolli.   

[amberwish]

hi lolli.  welcome to susans.  this is the place to find information  there is lots of it.  forums are great because if you ask a question the odds are someone will know the answer or direct you to where you can get it.  lots of loving and caring people here too.

hugs and    amber

[RebeccaFog]

Hi Lolli,

   I know what it's like to keep yourself a secret from others. I hope that someday your commitments will allow you the opportunity to be yourself.
   
Peace,

[lolli]

Hello once again.
Sorry i forgot my password to my laptop!! Not funny 
Anyway as i was saying, I should of been born a girl.
Or should i ? afterall its more fun being a boy trying to become a girl.
I used to live as a woman when in my teens but someone came along and intentions change.
I live my life now as i see fit and if that means dressing as a girl then so be it.
I have sought my partners as women and transexuals, and earlier this year i had the pleasure to go out with a very lovely woman who was on her last big hurdle.
But i failed her because my head was so messed up, mainly because i wanted to be her and yet i have a son that is eleven and he would not understand and i would not hurt him.
I always wanted to be a woman and when i went out with my friend i was quite envious as she dressed Gothic.
A very good guise as i said to her as it allowed her to fit in to society and not stand out.
Its funny today i went out dressed as i do and passed loads of people riding, the women look briefly and say nothing.
But why is it men have to be rude to us?
Though to be honest none one has said anything so far and should they i will ignore them.
My problem is i love pink ! i want to paint my bike pink and some of my kit is pink.
Its taking time to read about everything i need to know about changing ones sex.
l8r Lolli x


Posted on: September 25, 2006, 03:28:45 PMI have been thinking its time i did a follow up so here we go.

Back in the late seventies i as many do in thier teens i played aroung in womens clothes, i refer to this stage as finding one sexuality.
This continued up to the early eighties on and off and by that time i had quite a range of womens clothes mostly the impractical kind.
Then i repressed untill early ninties where i met a woman who didnt mind so that was like a red rag and it allowed me to dress fem but casual jeans and tops and underwear.
At that point or shortly before i explained to my mother how i felt and that didnt go down too well as you can imagine..!
But after that she opened up a little and a few hidden stories have come out about various male cusions that because born with the family problem decided in the early 1900's to live thier lives as women but social outcasts to thier respective families.
What happened to them no one knows.
Mother is and still does refuse to talk so i leave her be.
Funny thing is some tranvestites stay as they are and thier reasons can be many or for sexual relief whilst to others its a staging post to move onto transgender.
I dont get turned on wearing womens clothes its just that i feel i should be woman and the thought of gratification from dressing is a turn off like debaseing ones own self respect.

[Owen]

Hi Lolli,
           Welcome. I hope you can find peace with yourself here. 


Owen

Love being female