Are other people ruining names for you?

[Autumn]

This is the biggest problem I'm having right now when it comes to choosing a name. Other people ruin them for me.

A good example is that a name that really called to me ended up being my girlfriend at the time's sister's middle name, and she hates her sister beyond words. Obviously, she didn't want to call me that, and recently (as I still default to it when we're out) she said "You're still thinking of that one? It makes my stomach churn every time I hear it." Yes, she's admitted that she's been a real bitch lately.

She's otherwise entirely supportive. I mean, I understand *why* but her reaction for the last couple of months has definitely ruined the 'sure fit' for me.

There are several other lovely female names out there that I really like, but I associate them with people from my past - either negative experiences, or people who I admire as a person and just feel like 'copying' to use. I'm also someone who doesn't believe in idolizing people, or having a 'hero' - it seems like worship to me, and I don't believe in worship.

Perhaps I'm just too sensitive, but the mental connection between actions, behaviors, and names just sticks out to me.

[Inphyy]

Why don't you just go with Autumnia!? =]

[Autumn]

Autumn is a funny thing. I picked the name because August was the month that I moved across country and changed my life. Technically, august is summer, but it's the weeks and months that followed afterward that changed my life forever. And there's this Counting Crows song...

The same date that I got on a plane to leave home was the same date, now 3 years later, that my hormones arrived in the mail. August is also the month that I've had my only two major accidents as an adult in - being crushed at work by a large box (which I hope hasn't, but fear has, caused permanent neck damage ><), and my only car wreck.

August is an interesting time for me.

Of course, after a few months, I began to think that Autumn sounds way too trans/CD. I've seen two bloggers named Autumn. They were both trans. You see an occasional GG with the name (April is far more common), but it's very, very rare. I don't want an overly common name, but at the same time, i don't want something that stands out too much.


I don't think I'm metal enough to go by Autumnia. I should just go by Ivy.

[Genevieve Swann]

Opinion: Ivy is a beautiful name.

[sneakersjay]

I have a gazillion step relatives, all related with the same name, that I don't like all that much, but turns out is very similar to the one I ended up choosing - the obvious nickname is the same as teh step-relatives name.  And it turns out my chosen name is the name of my supervisor's son (the supervisor I was afraid to come out to for many reasons, the main one being he can be an arse) which I didn't know pre-name change.  And now another coworker named his kid the same name as  mine.

I chose it because it's pretty much the male equivalent to my F name, and there was a kid in my 5th grade class with the name, and I kind of liked it.

Bottom line is you just have to pick what's right for you and go with it.  Is my new name my most favorite name in the world?  No.  But I like it a heck of a lot better than my old F name.


Jay

[tekla]

Oh I can think of names that have been ruined for me by songs, (Beth) by snack cakes (Debbie) and by cartoons (Nancy).  Some that just sound too attached to older ages, like Flo, Zelda, Mable, Sophie.  Two part names, Billy-Bob, or Nora-Jean sound too Southern for me, and I can think of other bad attachments too, so I could never have called myself Sally, because both the Sallys I know are people I really don't care much for.

[Miniar]

I've had the absolute opposite experience.
The only Hans directly related to me is my now-deceased, grandfather on my mother's side. When I asked her if it was okay I'd take it as a first name she was all smiles and thought it was an awesome way to honor her dad.

[Inphyy]

Opinion: Ivy is a beautiful name.

Ivorica...I was once going to choose that one but I turned myself down on it after an while!

[K8]

I'd tell my girlfriend that now that I am *that name* she will have good associations with it instead of just the bad association of her sister.   Surely she's met other people with that name.  If she doesn't buy that, you can go to Plan B.

Yes, there are plenty of names ruined for me.  When I announced I was Katherine, one friend started calling me Kathy.  I told him in no uncertain terms that I was not a Kathy and never would be.  (A few mild good associations and one very strong negative one.)

The name my parents would have given me if they'd recognized me as a girl at birth is my daughter's middle name, and it seemed creepy to adopt that as mine so I had to pick another.

There are plenty of threads on this site about picking a name.  Look around.  And let us know what you decide, Autumn.

- Kate

[BubbleTea]

Lol seriously! i think everyone goes through this. at first i wanted to be called Natalia..but my friend said it sounded too much like Genitalia LOL. and well you can just imagine what went on for exactly the next 15 or so names lol.
finally i settled to Jennifer and ive had this name for the past 7-8 months. i love it!! ^_^

heres a list of names i thought were really pretty and you might find interesting:

Rielle [or Brielle], Rhiannon,Oriana, Maliiyah, Meredith, Corrine, Paulina, Dyvia, Rashida, Deveen, Aria [ <3 this one ], Mercedes, Lindell, Sahara, Kenyatta, Svetlana, Jaena, Camilia, Annalyse, Ayesha, Kira, Amaranth, Aeris

[aubrey]

You will most likely have to live with a name for the rest of your life. Your girlfriend/boyfriend/neighbors dog does not.

[Lutin]

Mm, I seem to remember Dan (Elwood) talking about this at some point, how he wanted to go with Dan but his parents would think he was just copying Dan Ackroyd, whom he likes, but whom he was *not* copying.

There are a few names I've thought of that I've ended up deciding against because they already come with associations. At the moment I'm thinking of first name Carlisle (it's the only male name similar to my female name that I actually like), and then I was looking for a middle name that begins with an E (same as my middle name), and I thought of Edward. Normally, I think I would go with that, but there is no way I'm changing my name to Carlisle Edward in a post-Twilight world. Just, no, particularly when my friends are all hyperventilating over the books and movies.

Seems to be a fine line between naming yourself for you and self-preservation...

And Aeris is a lovely name, though a lot of the ones BubbleTea listed are pretty.

[Autumn]

And Aeris is a lovely name

Naming yourself after a Final Fantasy 7 character is only a few years worse than Twilight. Of course, Final Fantasy games actually have decent stories in them.

Yeah, I realize that it's a lifelong commitment for us versus others. Which is why the passage of time changes things - if the name endures throughout the next few weeks/months, I hope the resentment expressed towards me fades from my feelings. But then, if resentment and baggage about names faded easily, I wouldn't have a list of names that I refuse to use from past dealings  .

It's stupid, I've always had a difficult time picking names for pets, or video game characters - I think the biggest roadblock to my transition is picking a name.

[Luc]

Rielle [or Brielle], Rhiannon,Oriana, Maliiyah, Meredith, Corrine, Paulina, Dyvia, Rashida, Deveen, Aria [ <3 this one ], Mercedes, Lindell, Sahara, Kenyatta, Svetlana, Jaena, Camilia, Annalyse, Ayesha, Kira, Amaranth, Aeris

See, while these are all interesting, different names, therein lies the rub... they're TOO interesting, and TOO different, with the exception of perhaps Aria (this was my ex-wife's name, she was mtf, and no one ever questioned it), Meredith, Kira, and Svetlana, though only if you're Russian or Eastern European.

Personally, I think the name Autumn is beautiful... it's actually my second choice for a name if I have a daughter (or a son who becomes a daughter, lol). Ivy is pretty as well. They're both more on the unusual side, but not so much so that people will wonder where the heck they came from. For me, I chose an unusual name, but in the western U.S. where there's a large Latino population, it's not unusual at all. However, I get the bad connotation bit... people canNOT stop referencing my name to either glam-rock dumbass Sebastian Bach or Sebastian the crab from The Little Mermaid. Ugh.

SD

[Nero]

I think the biggest roadblock to my transition is picking a name.

It was for me too. I eventually decided to go with the name everyone hated. 

[Luc]

It was for me too. I eventually decided to go with the name everyone hated. 

And that would be what?

[maidenprincess]

I picked the name my father would call me mockingly when I'd act girly as a child.  It was perfect in so many ways.

[Lutin]

I think the biggest roadblock to my transition is picking a name.

It was for me too. I eventually decided to go with the name everyone hated. 

Same. It seems almost like needing to figure out your masculine/feminine identity before actually transitioning into it...

[Cindy]

I picked the name my father would call me mockingly when I'd act girly as a child.  It was perfect in so many ways.

I hope you chose Heaven as your middle name, that would really spook him

Hugs
Cindy