What to expect... the good and the bad

[Naturally Blonde]

Back to Tristan's original question: The answer is it all depends.  It depends on you and the people around you.

There are physical limitations, like Legally Blonde's very unfrotunate experience with HRT.  There are social limitations, like a lot of other posts on this site.

If you are fortunate in you looks - and it seems you are, Tristan - it is easier.  If you have the inner strength to push through the rough patches - and there will be some - it is easier.  If the people around you already accept you and you have a good, supportive social network - it is easier.  If you live in an accepting area - it is easier.  If you have the financial resources to not be depending on the kindness of others - it will be easier.

As someone who for decades denied I am TS and figured I was 'just' CD, I can tell you there is a big difference.  A good therapist can help you discover for yourself what you are.  It is then up to you to decide what to do about that.

Good luck, Tristan.

- Kate

'Naturally Blonde' not Legally Blonde! and I think my experiences are far more common with many transsexuals if people were honest with themselves.

[K8]

'Naturally Blonde' not Legally Blonde! and I think my experiences are far more common with many transsexuals if people were honest with themselves.

Oops.   I'm sorry, Naturally Blonde.   This morning has been less kind to me than some are.

I can only go by my own experience, that of the few TS's that I know personally, what I read here, and what I've read in the literature.  My opinions are just that: my opinions.

The US health system (using the term "system" very loosely) is very different from the British NHS.  My personal experience, honestly, has been very different from yours, Naturally Blonde, both with health care workers (mental and physical health) and with the community in which I find myself living.  Probably our backgrounds are very different, too - I don't know.  Our situations are different and what we have experienced through trying to transition has been different.

As I've said before, I wish you luck in solving the problems that plague you, Naturally Blonde.  I hope the metaphorical doors open for you as they have for me so that you can finally comfortably be the woman you've always known you are.

- Kate

[tunak]

I really think you need need to speak to a therapist. From your pics you seem to be getting lots of kicks from dressing up. I think most girls want to look nice, but it's mainly for us as indivduals, and the other girls in the room. Most of us feel nice dressed up, but it's not in a sexual conintation.
Sorry not trying to be negative but going the SRS road is long.

I am sure I do not dress up because i have some 'male fantasy' that has some kind of sexual connotation attached to it. I dress up because it makes me feel good because i know people see me as a girl.

Speaking of dressing up. I have been going out dressed up just a tad bit more recently. I'm not sure if i am just unlucky or its a pang in TS dating/attraction, but the guys thats been coming to me seems to only see me as some kind of sex-play thing. Most just want to get into my pants, and i find this terribly disturbing. One guy told me "i am attracted you but since i know your a guy, i can't be emotionally attached to you. I can only be physical with you..."

I did find out that I want to transition not because i want str8 masculine guys but because of something else... These boys are gorgeous and are totally are my type but I refuse to sleep with them.

[Steffi]

....the guys thats been coming to me seems to only see me as some kind of sex-play thing. Most just want to get into my pants....

Welcome to the world of women 

[Imadique]

The best thing has been keeping nearly all my friends (no disastrous friend losses either, just drift away's) and gaining many more. I've had happier moments than I've ever had, depression has not left for any extended period though - I've been very close to suicide more often than I'd like to admit and very recently in fact. Family is lost except for sister but we had a dysfunctional relationship anyway so it was never going to survive. I almost quit (performing) music when I started out but these days I'm loving it more than ever.

Up until now the negatives have been more numerous than (but not necessarily outweighed) the positives but I think I might be at a turning point, should have asked next week after I start going full time, could be a very different answer 

[Julie Marie]

High: My therapist telling me I can easily pass.
Low: Finding out it's not true.

High: Believing the HR people at work when they said my transition would not affect my position at work.
Low: Watching them rescind that after I had put my career in their hands.

My advice to anyone considering transitioning would be to imagine the absolute worst case scenario and decide if you could still be happy transitioning.  Imagine losing your family, your friends and your job and whatever else you hold dear and determine if transitioning is more important.  Also, don't convince yourself "that won't happen to me" because there are no guarantees.

Julie

[K8]

My advice to anyone considering transitioning would be to imagine the absolute worst case scenario and decide if you could still be happy transitioning.  Imagine losing your family, your friends and your job and whatever else you hold dear and determine if transitioning is more important.  Also, don't convince yourself "that won't happen to me" because there are no guarantees.

I agree, Julie.  That's why I didn't transition 25 years ago.  This time I had less I could lose and felt more capable of handling the losses, so I crossed my fingers and plunged ahead.

Even coming out to friends and family - you never know how they're going to react.  This isn't something that you wake up one morning and say: What the hell, why not?

- Kate

[Julie Marie]

  This isn't something that you wake up one morning and say: What the hell, why not?

- Kate

LOL!  When asked why I transitioned I sometimes respond with, "I had nothing else going on that week."   

[shanetastic]

Since I'm not quite acculturated into the working life yet my biggest fear is still being a social outcast for the rest of my life and never being able to pass.  Outside of that, the friends who I care about I am all out to and they are completely fine with it.  The other one's I'm not out to are the ones that I don't care to keep as friends if they hate me after I tell them later.

[K8]

LOL!  When asked why I transitioned I sometimes respond with, "I had nothing else going on that week."   

Yeah, in the beginning I told a few people I had been trying to decide: should I straighten the garage or become a woman...

(Actually, I managed to do both. )

- Kate