Initial reaction to transitioning

[Melissa]

For transsexuals (FTM or MTF), when you realized transition was a very real possibility in your future, what was your initial reaction?  Because sometimes we have mixed emotions, I allowed you to choose up to 2 emotions.  I realize emotions can change regarding transition throught it's course, so that's why I only want to know initial reactions.

Melissa

[Mario]

That feeling had never altered. It was just put off for 17 years.

                               Marco

[Buffy]

I was totally relieved that a life long nightmare was going to come to an end. It was though someone had lifted the weight of the world of my shoulders and it felt so good not to keep such a dark secret to myself.

I was also very excited. I am not (or never will be) a person who shirks a challenge, my glass is always 1/2 full no matter how empty it may seem. I was excited by the prospect of not only transition, but excited by the physical and emotional changes I would be going through.

From my earliest thoughts, from my early childhood I had wanted to be a girl. The excitement of turning that dream into (some kind) of reality was something that really did excite me.

Buffy

Now living the exciting reality.

[Sarah Louise]

Relieved that I had finally chosen transition over suicide and excited about the possibilities.

Sarah L.

[Melissa]

My most overwhelming reaction was relief that I finally had found a way to be the person I always wanted to be.  The other major emotion was worry because I figured I would lose everything including family, friends, job, etc.  However, I had come to a point where I was willing to accept those losses.  Some of my worries did come true like a divorce, deserting parents, and losing my job but it didn't all happen at once.  It was more gradual and in stages and I was able to deal with those losses.  I still feel a huge sense of relief and feel like I have walked through h*ll and am now coming out on the other side.  That in itself is another relief.

Melissa

[Kate]

Relieved to finally be accepting that this is the ONLY way to solve this, to stop fighting against it, and to know that in the end it's truly the right thing to do.

Sad to realize the ramifications and inevitability of that.

[Owen]

 
   Relieved to be my feminine self something I had wanted to be from my early childhood
   I always thought myself as female but in the wrong body. I longed for acceptance in
   the female roll.

   Sad to think of all the memories lost and the ramifications and losing friends


   Owen

   Love being female