Here's my funny story:
I recently had to appear in court regarding a child support hearing. My eldest daughter turned 18 over a year ago, and I was entitled to reduce my child support contributions. She has even moved out of her custodial mom's house. My ex also is now living with a guy, so that I am able to stop my alimony payments. She even acknowledged this in her email to me a couple of months back. Let's also just say, though, that she's not very happy with her ex husband now being a diva about town!
I tried to just have her sign a paper acknowledging these two events, but she refused to sign. I was forced to have to appear in court to state my case to the judge. What you need to know is that the other attorney had painstakingly asked me for everyone financial document I had regarding my last three years of living. Of course, during the last three years I transitioned, sold my business, had surgery(s) and then became unemployed. Hence, my finances are in bad shape. I've since started a new insurance business that focuses on the LGBT market.
Here's how my questioning on the stand went as he was trying to paint me into a corner as a wildly free spending trans girl:
Silly Opposing Attorney- "so, is it true that you spent money on a cruise (lesbian) ?
Julie- "Yes. Lesbians go on cruises, too"
Silly opposing attorney- " did you buy all of your business furniture, and clothes at the Target store?" (a discount place)
Julie- "No" (though his suit did look like it)
SOA- " did you go to Nordstrom's?"
Julie- " yes, their outlet store. They sell shoes in my size, I've got big feet."
SOA- " I'll bet you do!"
SOA- " I understand that you spent $18,000 on your gender surgery and even umpteen more on your facial surgery. Why did you do this?"
Julie- " because I'm a woman, and most every woman I know has a vagina"
SOA- "it's not like it was a matter of life or death or something..."
Julie- "for me it was. Many transgendered women are very depressed and suicidal. Just read the letters from my two psychiatrists" (what woman wouldn't be depressed without a vagina!)
SOA- "ok, let's move on. Your medical expenses are very high and don't add up. What's this other $6500 about?"
Julie- " I had breast augmentation"
SOA- "when you started your transition, you went on hormone therapy. Didn't you grow breasts on hormones?"
Julie- (looking down at her chest) " well, I did go on hormones, but didn't get much growth at all. It's a function of age, genetics and how your body reacts to the medicine."
SOA-" well, again it's not like breasts are a matter of life or death or something. It wasn't really medically necessary, was it?"
Julie- (I wanted to ask if was important to him and the judge if their wives or girlfriends had boobs to play with) Instead I told him, " well insurance companies view breast augmentation as a medical necessity after a woman has a mastectomy. As women, we think that having breasts help define us as women. (I wanted to call him a boob, but I've got more class than he does!) So, yes I needed a pair of breasts!" (he and the judge both were turning red)
In the end, the judge wished Julie Marie and I good luck together. He seemed very respectful and probably was more than a little embarrassed with the lawyer who just pleaded his case before the bench.
Of course, I was waiting for him to ask me if I bought my boobs on sale at Target!
