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What was or is your BIGGEST FEAR in transitioning?

Started by Shelina, September 19, 2009, 08:22:51 AM

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Amazon D

My biggest fear now is having anything to fear.

to fear is stupid and a total waste of time.. i wouldn't even add to this if i were anyone unless its positive
I'm an Amazon womyn + very butch + respecting MWMF since 1999 unless invited. + I AM A HIPPIE

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Seyranna

This thread reminds me that I'm such a freakin honey badger it's ridiculous >.<

Which is not a good thing for the most part.

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Reis89

Quote from: queerkristina on April 10, 2012, 05:41:02 PM
One of my biggest fears was that I was too old to even do this. Of course at the time I was like 21. And though thought that I was much too old to come out as trans. With that the exposure of transgender children it made me feel bad that I didn't assert myself at a younger age and it made me feel like it was too late for me. HOwever, I have since realized that I was being ridiculous. I am now 23 and officially starting my journey. I've been on tblockers for 3 months now. It's never too late.

I think my other biggest fear was of not ever being read or respected as female. However as I have begun transition this fear too has abated. I now get ma'am in public on a regular basis. Even though I'm not even taking estrogen yet and have only had 3 rounds of lazer. These fears go away with time and with experience. At least that is what I have found!


I'm 23 and I think it is too late to have a desired body due to the size of my arms, hands, abdomen and legs ... I'm afraid to stay with a male appearance in the body: (
I'm afraid that something be wrong, since I am human and I'm beautiful, do not want to be an ugly and disfigured. It was reason to kill me! I have dreams to be a woman, and be a photographic model! Tired of living in a body that is not mine, but I took what I am because my family would reject me! I live more unhappiness than happiness!
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Lazarus

Quote from: Miniar on September 19, 2009, 09:36:40 AM
My current biggest fear, as I'm still pre everything, is going to the psychologist, jumping through all the hoops, and being told, that I'm just not dysphoric enough to warrant treatment (transition) or something along those lines.
To get a "no".
That's my fear.

I second that!!



Though ultimately with all the waiting, my actual fear is transitioning too late!!
I dunno where I learnt it from or how much is true, or how age might affect the overall result (proof anyone? My doctors tells me 45 is the absolute latest for a 'good' results) but I hate to be someone stuck in the middle, nether here nor there... you know?

That for me would be my worst nightmare EVER!! 

Seriously, I'd sooner they tell me now rather than make me wait a while. At-least than I have the option to take matters into my own hands, take my transferable skills and jet-off to around the world, taking my chances... 
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Assoluta

My biggest fear used to be that I got it all wrong, that transition was a delusion and that one day, I would come to regret it and be completely destroyed. I almost overdid it in terms of being cautious of myself, analysing my need to transition repeatedly, so much so, that even my counsellors and psychiatrists thought I was over thinking the whole matter! So I had no fears about the charing cross psychs, because the ultimate gatekeeper was myself.
It takes balls to go through SRS!

My singing and music channel - Visit pwetty pwease!!!:

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kibouo?feature=mhee
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JayKyle

Being me is the way it should be.
God made me this way so get used to it XD
Black is a freaking rainbow >.<
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Lee

Coming out to my family and the thought of what if I'm wrong
Oh I'm a lucky man to count on both hands the ones I love

A blah blog
http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,365.0.html
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JayKyle

Quote from: Lee on April 28, 2012, 02:50:39 AM
Coming out to my family and the thought of what if I'm wrong

I keep doubting myself but I think that might be because no one is really supporting me in the real world.....but then I realize, I've felt this way for most of my life and I need to do what's best for me and not for "everyone else"
Being me is the way it should be.
God made me this way so get used to it XD
Black is a freaking rainbow >.<
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Kelly-087

Losing career opportunities. I want to be a nurse. I'm afraid I'll finish the last of my pre-reqs, then apply to the nursing program and get turned away at the interview/essay stage because Im either too feminine or not feminine enough.. I honestly haven't decided whether or not I'll be out at that stage. But if all goes well, I'll have been on hormones for close to a year before any of that comes to fruition.

Second fear is not passing. But as the days go on, and I see myself a bit more cheerfully I don't think that will be a problem after HRT is started.
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Felix

Quote from: casey on April 24, 2012, 04:46:01 PM
I fear violence, mostly.
I fear violence no matter what I do. In the last few years I've only been hit by demented old ladies and unstable children, but I still count the exits and size up the other people whenever I walk into any room. Transition actually emboldened me a bit.
everybody's house is haunted
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Jamie D

Quote from: Felix on May 01, 2012, 02:53:04 AM
I fear violence no matter what I do. In the last few years I've only been hit by demented old ladies and unstable children, but I still count the exits and size up the other people whenever I walk into any room. Transition actually emboldened me a bit.

These will keep the old biddies away!



You need to pack

... boxes I mean.
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Felix

Quote from: Jamie D on May 01, 2012, 03:01:18 AM
These will keep the old biddies away!



You need to pack

... boxes I mean.
That's right. Yes I do.
everybody's house is haunted
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Keaira

That my past as a male will keep being thrown back in my face by so-called loved ones, co-workers, etc. Like it is now. *sigh*

I'm going to cuddle with my bunny now.
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ShawnaB

I did the "I'm too old to transition succesfully" thing in my early 20's.  15 years later, I've finally gotten started :)

So vanity was the first fear.  I get looks of appreciation or jealousy or indifference as any other woman seems to get now.

Then it was my therapist writing the hrt letter after 3 months.  I cried in relief at that one.

Violence is always on the back of my mind, but then again I'm 6' and not stick thin, so nobody has tried to have a go at me.

Family wasn't really a fear but it was still a relief to tell them.  (Not out to the extended family but don't care as much as my parents and sister.)  I've also been finding out who my friends really are :)

I think I've kind of gotten over the fears now, or just can't be bothered to worry about them anymore.  I've still got a long way to go, but this is right for me, I'm free and I have nothing to fear at the moment.

Work stability is a bit of a concern, but that's sorting itself out and should be completely stable again in the next few months, so I don't really count this either.
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JayKyle

Violence on others...if you hate me, whatever...but don't take it out on others
Being me is the way it should be.
God made me this way so get used to it XD
Black is a freaking rainbow >.<
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Dominatrix ♥

Not obtaining a job , a place to live , just because of the discrimination ..
My Forum Blog: http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,388.0.html
Equality cannot be reached if fought in a divisive way.
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Shang

My biggest fear, in all honesty, is not loving my dog to the extent that I do currently.  I'm scared I won't think of her as my "child".  I don't want to do that.  =(

My other biggest fear is having my parents hate me.
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Nicolette

Quote from: Assoluta on April 24, 2012, 03:53:06 PM
My biggest fear used to be that I got it all wrong, that transition was a delusion and that one day, I would come to regret it and be completely destroyed. I almost overdid it in terms of being cautious of myself, analysing my need to transition repeatedly, so much so, that even my counsellors and psychiatrists thought I was over thinking the whole matter! So I had no fears about the charing cross psychs, because the ultimate gatekeeper was myself.

Assolutamente! Fear of oneself. And I continue to analyse my motives today, but not as much. What I did was take HRT whilst working it all out, instead of waiting until I had a certain answer. I did it just in time before things got too busy and complicated in my life. At that time, I was the only employee in my company. Crucially, there was no possibility of being sacked.
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TorontoGirl4Life

First of all I have to say great idea to post this forum topic !

My BIGGEST fear in my entire transition thus far is simply having to COME OUT ! @ work. Now in my situation I had technically been living as myself before my name legally changed, I integrated different feminine bits in my wardrobe and people could clearly tell I was not your typical ' male ' at the time.

But the day I had to come out at my job through HR and then to officially tell my co workers about my gender identity kinda made me a bit uncomfortable. The reactions we're varied and people seemed supportive and wanted to learn about who I was. I always love to be able to dispell any myths people hear or answer any unresolved questions they've been wanting to know first hand. As time passed I have found people have less to say to me and often cut off their interactions with me, it could also because I am very bold and outspoken personality wise too. But it's drawing close to my 1 yr fulltime and I still fear being so out about myself in the workplace. Because I have this paranoia that because they'd not like me or what not they'd just gang up to get me fired.

But that is my biggest fear. Hopefully it makes sense !


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