HRT without transition?

[Autumn]

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Society accepting a person with an erect penis as a female?  Hmm... That could be stretch, but what the heck, good luck with that.

-={LR}=-

Because taking viagra to please your partner obviously entails walking down the street in booty shorts and a cami with a raging hardon.

I was actually about to post about this topic myself, and was happy to find the information here because I'm beginning to experience the same things.

I'm one month on estrogen, half a year on spiro. I am following the advice that's been given plenty of times to make sure to use it or lose it when it comes both to the elasticity and health of the tissue, along with orgasm function. It's definitely changing. I've had one completely dry orgasm, I think, but mostly it's a much less intense contraction, with a small ejaculation, or no ejaculation at orgasm but some dripping afterward. I think that some of the lessened intensity is because there's less fluid present, it seemed to me that 'depleting the stores' made orgasms less intense even before HRT. Full erection is much more challenging to obtain on my own and not necessary for orgasm. I do wonder how long it will be, if ever, that I lose that function.

Some women out there like strapons - we've got one built in, for a little while, at least. Also some people aren't so self loathing that they can't enjoy sex with someone they care about, even if they'd prefer things to be different.

[finewine]

Society accepting a person with an erect penis as a female?  Hmm... That could be stretch, but what the heck, good luck with that.

Society outside the bedroom I guess...unless one plans to wander around at half-mast in public

[Steph]

Society outside the bedroom I guess...unless one plans to wander around at half-mast in public

Very true LOL.  However more to the point...  Society accepting that a woman can have a penis would be a hard sell, but stranger things have happened.

-={LR}=-
Post Merge: September 18, 2009, 04:44:29 AM

Because taking viagra to please your partner obviously entails walking down the street in booty shorts and a cami with a raging hardon.
...
Some women out there like strapons - we've got one built in, for a little while, at least. Also some people aren't so self loathing that they can't enjoy sex with someone they care about, even if they'd prefer things to be different.

I was being a little tongue in check speaking of the erect penis , and I agree that there are some who would have no problem having sex with a woman who has a penis, but I was referring to society in general.

-={LR}=-

[Windrider]

I hate to sound like a downer here, but have you talked with your wife about starting HRT? Eventually, even a low dose will cause the factory equipment to stop functioning, breasts to grow, muscle/body changes, etc as well as the emotional aspects. Taking hormones in secret is most likely not going to have a positive end for your marriage. I'm not talking about transition issues here, I'm talking about *trust* issues. The most common refrain I've seen from wives whose spouses talk about transitioning is that they were "lied to". And that generally leads to the wife wondering "what else they weren't told". Once trust is broken it's very difficult to repair, if it's possible at all.

I'm not saying you shouldn't pursue this path (or any other), but if you want your marriage to survive, then your wife needs to be on board with you. And it's going to mean compromises on both sides. I'd suggest therapy for *both* of you (*before* any HRT!) You may want to do a few couples sessions in there. I can't say what's going through your wife's mind right now, but she's probably afraid of a lot of things and hopefully therapy will help her work through those fears.

GID doesn't go away. Dani and I have been there; done that. Good luck.

WR

[MeghanAndrews]

Hi MTF and everyone, two things. First, I'm sure you are well aware of the side effects of the meds. Most seem like you'd want to really consider before going on them. I'm definitely thinking your wife should see them too. This is one of the intake forms at Fenway Trans Health Center, one of the leading trans clinics in the US. Maybe read the informed consent you need to sign before starting HRT and let your wife read it too so she knows what she's getting into. http://www.fenwayhealth.org/site/DocServer/Informed_Consent_-_Estrogen_Therapy.pdf?docID=2201

Also, regarding the sex part question. I've been on HRT for two years (almost to the day) and just speaking for myself, I don't ejaculate. There's a huge difference between having an orgasm and ejaculating. Just as many women just become a little more lubricated down there and don't have a whole bunch of stuff coming out doesn't mean they don't orgasm. Our bodies are very different. Not to disclose TMI for you all, but I try to um...take matter into my own hands, lol, about once every 60 days to prevent shrinkage and atrophy. I don't really have a sex drive but I can do this every 60 days. I do orgasm but there is no ejaculation at all. Not...one...single...drop. I know many people, even post-orchi, who still have ejaculate. I have no idea why I don't, I don't think there's a problem down there or anything. Oh, also, getting larger down there every 60 days hurts. I think it's because the muscles aren't used to being stretched or something, but it even hurts the next day sometimes. It's definitely a chore to do and not exactly on my fun list of things to do mainly due to physical limitations and mental lack of wanting to do it. I look forward to being with a guy post-op, until then I do what I have to do to get by. Just sharing my 2 years HRT experience down there with you all. Hope it helps Meghan

[FairyGirl]

Also some people aren't so self loathing that they can't enjoy sex with someone they care about, even if they'd prefer things to be different.

perhaps it's self loathing for some, but I plenty enjoy sex with my partner, we just don't require me to have an erection or to ejaculate in order to accomplish orgasm for both of us. But then not all women are into lesbian sex. As I said before, for me now orgasms are more intense, longer lasting, and more deeply satisfying. I (we) basically stimulate only the same area/nerve endings that will be retained after it becomes a clitoris- "practicing up" you might say. It works, but it doesn't mean I don't love practicing.

[mtfbuckeye]

For the record: I have no intention of starting HRT without lengthy discussions with my wife first.

[Jill]

Thanks for the advice/info everyone... It's nice to hear that others have taken this path, and that it's possible for me.

Please keep checking and let us know how it is going.  I am in almost exactly the same boat, wanting to keep a partner who doesn't like the idea of transition, but needing to do something about my GID.

[Cadence Jean]

Society outside the bedroom I guess...unless one plans to wander around at half-mast in public

Exactly.  Unless she's a nudist or a sex worker or some other lifestyle where she's wearing her birthday suit in front of large groups of people, then nobody ever need know that a woman has some extra dangly bits down below and she can be accepted by society outside her house.  The issue would arise(no pun intended!) when such a woman would be looking for a partner - then acceptance may become an issue.  For me, I see myself finding a woman who loves me for my self and see past the physical flesh, in whatever form that flesh is taking.  The issue I see with having a male body is that my soul is not expressed - no woman can see the female behind the flesh.  That's one factor as to why I'm considering a transition.

For those of you who clarified about the difference between ejaculation and orgasm during HRT(I think Becca and Meghan), thank you so much!  I wasn't able to find any info on that anywhere else!  It's a relief to hear that part of things still works, and it sounds like it transforms into something wonderful.  Orgasms for me in my twenties have been so mechanical - I have another thread about them specifically, but I really hope that HRT would bring back some of that electricity that I lost since puberty.

Buckeye, keep us informed.  Things do work out for the better!

[Autumn]

Hi MTF and everyone, two things. First, I'm sure you are well aware of the side effects of the meds. Most seem like you'd want to really consider before going on them. I'm definitely thinking your wife should see them too. This is one of the intake forms at Fenway Trans Health Center, one of the leading trans clinics in the US. Maybe read the informed consent you need to sign before starting HRT and let your wife read it too so she knows what she's getting into. http://www.fenwayhealth.org/site/DocServer/Informed_Consent_-_Estrogen_Therapy.pdf?docID=2201

Also, regarding the sex part question. I've been on HRT for two years (almost to the day) and just speaking for myself, I don't ejaculate. There's a huge difference between having an orgasm and ejaculating. Just as many women just become a little more lubricated down there and don't have a whole bunch of stuff coming out doesn't mean they don't orgasm. Our bodies are very different. Not to disclose TMI for you all, but I try to um...take matter into my own hands, lol, about once every 60 days to prevent shrinkage and atrophy. I don't really have a sex drive but I can do this every 60 days. I do orgasm but there is no ejaculation at all. Not...one...single...drop. I know many people, even post-orchi, who still have ejaculate. I have no idea why I don't, I don't think there's a problem down there or anything. Oh, also, getting larger down there every 60 days hurts. I think it's because the muscles aren't used to being stretched or something, but it even hurts the next day sometimes. It's definitely a chore to do and not exactly on my fun list of things to do mainly due to physical limitations and mental lack of wanting to do it. I look forward to being with a guy post-op, until then I do what I have to do to get by. Just sharing my 2 years HRT experience down there with you all. Hope it helps Meghan

Doesn't the pain come basically from losing it because you aren't using it? Going from at least one erection a day to one every 2 months is... a significant change for the body.

[Hannah]

it sounds like it transforms into something wonderful.

I wouldn't say that but it works. Different is probably a good word. Wonderful will be having everything shaped right and then working   

For me the defining things were the much anticipated and annoyingly delayed death of the male sex drive, and ceasing to ejaculate. Now fooling around is a lot less dysphoria provoking because it's a conscious choice and not a reptilian need, and the other thing is pretty self explanatory.

This is an interesting subject, not orgasms but the original idea. I didn't plan on living full time until february of next year, but with the way the hormones made me feel I felt compelled to, damn the torpedoes. The edges are starting to fade now, but for a while it was pretty clear I was a boy in girls clothes; but I felt like I HAD to do it, if that makes any sense at all. The idea of taking hrt and not transitioning socially is interesting to me on an academic level, I'd like to read about it some more if anyone surfaces who has done it because I tried this very thing and failed.

[Tammy Hope]

Doesn't the pain come basically from losing it because you aren't using it? Going from at least one erection a day to one every 2 months is... a significant change for the body.

Should I read all that to mean that when I start on HRT that if I want to avoid tissue shrinkage I should manually stimulate erection (or whatever extent of one I can get) at least, say, weekly or so?

[FairyGirl]

Should I read all that to mean that when I start on HRT that if I want to avoid tissue shrinkage I should manually stimulate erection (or whatever extent of one I can get) at least, say, weekly or so?

it probably means that. There is another interesting thread that Calliope started concerning orgasms here:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,65104.msg432697.html#msg432697

Notice especially Chrissty's replies concerning stimulation and the nerves involved. If you ever plan to have SRS and maintain the ability, I think it's important to begin while still pre-op learning ways to achieve orgasms beyond the same old "grabbing the stick" method. Dr. McGinn agrees with this as well and she should know. The most shrinkage is going to occur in the testicles because they seriously atrophy when they stop producing sperm. You can still get erections though if you work at it and I reckon Viagra could help in that regard, especially if you've used it successfully in the past.

Before HRT I thought yeah, I could use Viagra if I needed to to get it up, but afterwards the freedom I found from that "reptilian" sex drive Becca mentioned was like a breath of fresh air and I found I no longer had any desire to continue having sex like a male, it only triggered serious dysphoria feels. Of course YMMV but remember that's a possibility when you start HRT. And as described in the link above, there are other ways to have much better orgasms.

[ifonlyican14]

hi
i have the same problem here, have a wife, who love to see me dressed in feminie cloth, she even bought me some, but we have a problem which is she love to have sex, love my to penetrate her, for me, i was very happy when my privates shrink and i was impotence, but she was very upset, which is problem i can't handle, other than that, i felt very happy when i noticed the change after 3 monthes hrt
Post Merge: September 28, 2009, 01:24:41 PM
hi
i have the same problem here, have a wife, who love to see me dressed in feminie cloth, she even bought me some, but we have a problem which is she love to have sex, love my to penetrate her, for me, i was very happy when my privates shrink and i was impotence, but she was very upset, which is problem i can't handle, other than that, i felt very happy when i noticed the change after 3 monthes hrt