Coming out to friends and teachers... Easier than family?

[Between Names]

I decided yesterday that I'm really ready to move forward with my transition.  No more being afraid, no more keeping it hidden so that I don't confuse people or upset people...  This is about me.  I can take it slow in order to be accommodate the people around me, or I can move ahead because I'm ready to transition.  Either way, some people are not going to be okay with it, and it's going to happen eventually.  So I decided to come out at school TODAY.

I had already come out to my mom, btw.  She's okay with it.  In fact, she's very supportive of me loving myself, and I am extremely thankful for that.

Coming out to teachers...  Easy.  I only have three teachers as it is (I go to a special school.), and all I had to do was ask "Would you mind calling me Antony from now on?"  (I would actually prefer to be called Lucien, but Antony is sort of the masculine version of my name.)  Like I said, it was easy.  No trouble with that at all...

Coming out to my friends was a little tougher.  It was difficult finding the "right time" to say "Hey, guess what?  I'm trans! " but I was eventually able to work it out.  I only have two or three people I talk to at school anyway.  It's a small school, there aren't very many students or teachers, but people don't generally "know" other people.  By that I mean, nobody gossips about anyone else...  I hardly hear anyone even talk about a fellow student in any way, except for people who are close friends.

So now I just have one group left.

...My family.

Yes, I already came out to my mom, but she's the only family member I've come out to so far.  To be honest, I don't think anyone in my family is absolutely going to HATE me for this or anything, but I'm a little scared.  My family tends to be a bit critical of each other.  I'm just worried...  But I'm also really proud of myself.  I'm finally taking a step forward!

So what about you guys?  What are your experiences with coming out to friends vs. coming out to family?

[tekla]

In the beginning, 'coming out' really referred to your family more than anyone else.  Hell, if you were being honest, and living the life, your friends already knew, and so did a lot of others.

But in general I think that coming out is hardest to people who you have known the longest, the ones who are hard to replace in your life, and those who have some power to affect your life should they find it unacceptable.

[Between Names]

I guess by "coming out" I mean I've started to bind my chest and dress in male clothes (I've been afraid to do either of those things for the longest time), and I asked people to call me by a different name.  If they asked why, I explained that I was trans.  I'm hoping I can get people used to this and then make the switch to male pronouns eventually.

So no, I haven't really been honest about this with the people around me up until now.  I really don't have many close friends as it is, and I was afraid of losing them.    Which is kind of silly, because you're right...  Teachers and friends aren't going to be in my life forever.  My family will always be there, whether or not they agree with my decisions.  And that is why I am extremely worried about coming out to them.

[K8]

I think family is probably hardest, certainly harder than friends or teachers.  With family, there is such an intertwining of so many different things and a long history.  But generally, each person you come out to makes it easier to come out to the next.

For me it was important to be open and honest with those I cared about.  It helped me to be more open and honest with myself.  That got me to where I am now, and I love where I am now.

Good luck, Lucien or Antony or ...  It sounds like you are taking charge of your life, and that's a good thing.

- Kate

[Between Names]

Lucien, please.  ^.^  Mum says it reminds her of the devil...  But I think it's an awesome name.  Haha!

Okay, I don't want to double post, so I'm just going to add this:  I came out to my dad over the phone last night.  In retrospect, it probably wasn't the best idea using the phone and not saying it in person, but I'm just really proud of myself for getting it out anyway...

He was a little confused to say the least...  But he drove into town today to have dinner with me at a restaurant and talk about things.  At first I was nervous (I still have nervous cramps!), but it turned out good.  He said to me, "No matter what happens, I will always love you."

That was very reassuring...  I feel much better.