Hi. Please forgive me if I'm a bit paranoid. I work with schools - it doesn't pay well, I have no security and most likely no job once it becomes "public" knowledge.
I'm 29 years old. I'm not sure how far I'm going to go yet. Wanting to be female is nothing new to me. Choosing to stop hiding from myself - is. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing someone that just isn't me.
I've told my fiancee, thankfully she actually seems to be OK with it. We've known each other for just over 10 years. She's the only person who knows me IRL that I've told.
I have a few early goals that should be relatively safe:
Growing my hair back out - I had it long for a while (bottom of my shoulder blades), I cut it to get a job. I miss my hair.
Lose LOTS of weight - a good thing for me anyways
Voice Training: Have Deep Stealth work book and software - it's currently disguised as learning to sing and stretching my range.
Electrolysis: Well - every where, but face and arms are "first up" - trying to save up so I can start this.
I'm trying to wait until my weight is better for clothes... kind of the carrot at the end of the stick for me.
Now I'm not deluding myself, I will never be a beauty queen contestant. My body just is too far gone for that. 29 unchecked years plus football and wrestling. Yeah - I went that way - tried to deny it to myself. I have a thick neck, legs, and arms. I have no clue how to slim them down. My bones are relativity thick and heavy even for a guy and thus I have a large rib cage, elbows, knees, hands and very big feet that I have trouble fitting in mens shoes.
I look at that list and think I'm setting myself up to fail and I'll never be able to pass. Then I think I've already failed more then 7000 time just by waiting nearly 20 years.
I'm tired of not being me.
