I'm the weird one here (LOL), I gave away some of mine to T-guys, and the crappy ones I threw out, and I kept a few that I really liked. I have girl clothes, for sure, but I also have boy clothes and I've walked out side of the house wearing boy clothes and all I usually get is "dyke." LOL
I wore some once for a drag king show I did. I should do that again. I keep meaning too, but I keep having a chaotic life. LOL
I'd have to say, however, that my "boy" clothes that I kept were gothy looking or band T-shirts. *shrugs* I like them.
I have no problem going out wearing a band T-shirt, a big old boy hoodie, or boy bondage pants (I have two pairs, once I owned before, and another a good friend bought for me after my SRS). The only sad thing about the bondage pants is that the used to be big on me, but now they are getting smaller and smaller, 'cause my hips are getting bigger and bigger. LOL
I have many different looks, depending on how I feel or what I wanna do that day. Sometimes I go out looking girly-girly, and other times I go out looking like a tom boy.
I think earlier on in my transition I would be more girly-girly, wearing make up all of the time, wearing girly clothes, etc. But, as time went on wasn't as much, and would sometimes walk around looking pretty butch. LOL
I had long hair at first, and then I shaved it except the front bangs just before my SRS. I must be the only person that's come through those doors with a hair cut like that. Yay, for my punkishness. *shrugs* But, the hair doesn't make the girl.
I'm growing it long again, just because I wanna. I vary on what I wanna wear. A lot of my clothes don't even fit anymore 'cause my body has changed so much in the last year -- mmm, even in the last 3 months it's changed! Especially pants. Don't get me wrong, I love having hips and a butt and all of that, but when you're broke it's hard to get new pants every other month. *sigh* I'm still trying to find a job, but going out and having to explain I have a disability and I can't do as much as the next person really hurts my chances. I'm now just borrowing some jeans from my roomie.
But, yeah, I just be myself. To me, that's what transition is all about -- allowing yourself to be yourself. So, yeah, I'm a dyke (soft butch, I guess like Shane on the L-Word). But, yeah, that's me. If I wear make up, I wear it for myself. I don't worry what people think about me, 'cause I know I'm a woman and that's what's important to me. I just be myself and let the cards lay how they lay.
I think that's why I can be comfortable wearing boy clothes from time to time, dressing like a tom boy sometimes, and then other times putting on some make-up and a dress for a night out.
I also don't morn or curse my past. I think I did at once. I hated my past. The whole idea of it. But, as time passed I just embarrassed the past as part of me and what makes me who I am today, and I just focused on the now and the future. Not that I run around advertising my "male" past to everyone, and I rarely talk about it... but I still embrace that past as my unique path to womenhood. I was always a woman, even if my body didn't match.
sorry for the long reply. LOL I get a bit long winded sometimes.
--natalie
