Last night I went to my ex's place. We're on good terms but we don't really talk or hang out a whole lot because it's potentially awkward. When I was talking to her on MSN, I got the impression she might be 'receptive' to me if you know what I mean. I broke up with her like two years ago, but I've been fairly lonely lately (I don't like being single one little bit,) and she knows about my transgenderism and I've been feeling especially lonely concerning that lately. So I dolled myself up as femininely as possible as I could without dressing (except for the underwear of course.) I brushed my hair a certain way, put on like.. three layers of lip gloss and made sure I had a feminine stance and walk for the night. I got there and there were like five people, and I felt all deflated and embarassed with how excited I was getting over something I knew wasn't happening. I wish there was somebody that I could just be myself around for a change...
