Why do you come to Susan's?

[Dani2118]

I came here the first time back in the 90's just searching on the internet. For many years I would visit every now and then. Was considering transition but got side tracked for 20 yrs. I didn't know what transition was until I found Susan's Place. I've known I was transsexual since the 70's, but wasn't quite sure what that meant. The people on Susan's Place have over the years lead me to where I am now. In the 90's I wasn't in a good place in life to transition, but over the years all of you people on here have gotten me ready for where I am now. Finally in a good situation to transition! It's only been a couple of months but already I'm finally going where I've always wanted to be. To be who I am, and I thank you Susan for this Site. With me, you led the blind man out of a pit so the woman he is can find her happiness! I owe you more than I can ever give!

[Raell]

Loneliness, I guess, is why I came to this forum. 

I have many bisexual and transgender friends-both transmale and transwoman, both in the US and especially here in Thailand, but not all of them are open to talking about it, and in Thailand, being transgender is so taken for granted, it's seldom discussed.

But when my (married) ex-husband suddenly, and casually, announced last year that he was planning to transition to nonbinary female and wanted to eventually get back with me, I became concerned and wanted to know how someone could be "suddenly trans." Also there was good reason we got divorced.

I wanted to know:

1. if people who have never shown the slightest interest in being female before can suddenly decide they are transgender (the consensus is that it happens, since people are often unaware of their subconscious selves)
2. if treacherous males can change and become dependable after transition (the consensus: NO)
3. if I could find a transmale with common interests with whom I can be friends (so far, no. Zero response)
4. how to cope with having a nonbinary female friend who is clueless about transition (plenty of information on this forum)
5. how transmales and nonbinary people in general deal with life, to compare them with my experiences, and maybe learn new coping strategies (Some stories of this type, although the majority of posts in this forum seem to be MtF people working through transition)

[Dena]

5. how transmales and nonbinary people in general deal with life, to compare them with my experiences, and maybe learn new coping strategies (Some stories of this type, although the majority of posts in this forum seem to be MtF people working through transition)

Unfortunately there is a reason for that. If you look at this page on the right hand side you will discover that you are greatly outnumbered. That's why I try to answer FTM questions when I am able to.

[Raell]

True..my male side isn't talkative, as a rule. He'd rather head out on a hike with friends than sit around and talk. I guess that's why I usually hang with males and masculine females.

[and5678]

I used to come here right when I started to transition really to gain knowledge. It was to also get support because my family had not taken to my transitioning well and still do not.

I've returned to potentially help someone in a similar situation. My experience and input can hopefully make all the difference in someone's life.

[The Flying Lemur]

Mostly I come here because I don't want to burn out my IRL support system by talking about my transness 24/7.  It's often on my mind, though, and I know I can post here whenever without people rolling their eyes.

[aves]

Mostly I come here because I don't want to burn out my IRL support system by talking about my transness 24/7.  It's often on my mind, though, and I know I can post here whenever without people rolling their eyes.

I think that's probably my biggest reason too. Sometimes I feel like I'm annoying people by bringing it up all the time, and by all the time I mean when someone says something crappy to me and I need to get it off my chest before I blow up inside.

[Selene]

I come here mainly because I'm isolated. Like, suuuuuper isolated. I'm not afraid to say it... I get lonely! I try my best not to bring my personal drama with me here. It feels like I do when I have written about some of the hardcore bad experiences I've had, but to me that is expression. I don't want to dredge up negatively, or bad experiences with others. I guess I just had to share my experiences.

I'd rather spend my time supporting others the best way I can. I wish I could do better though. Support is a powerful thing. When even just one person reaches out with advice, empathy, or even a hello -it can drastically change a persons day. I know it does for me. I spend a lot of time staring out my window. Going on long walks, when it feels like I'm going in circles. Back in my repressed days, I used to get on my car and drive for hours either in the mountains here, or into what constitutes a city here in Idaho.

When I start feeling lost like that, I come here. I just started coming here not long ago. Before, my online time was spent on sites where I felt relatively like I fit being there, but all the while having to hide my identity as a trans woman to have "friends."

I'm different. My social skills are geared towards survival skills. I'm working on that, this site helps. Most of the time I'm afraid of stomping around someone else's post in a reply with my big clumsy foot.

Relating to others out there means a lot to me. Hell, just having a smidge of conversation is divine! If you read me, you bridge the distance. I appreciate that lots!

[Michelle_P]

Dana, you definitely aren't alone.  Many of us sought out this place not just for the information and help, but for the social contact with someone else who could understand us.

This is a great virtual safe space for us.

[Laurie]

I come here mainly because I'm isolated. Like, suuuuuper isolated. I'm not afraid to say it... I get lonely! I try my best not to bring my personal drama with me here. It feels like I do when I have written about some of the hardcore bad experiences I've had, but to me that is expression. I don't want to dredge up negatively, or bad experiences with others. I guess I just had to share my experiences.

I'd rather spend my time supporting others the best way I can. I wish I could do better though. Support is a powerful thing. When even just one person reaches out with advice, empathy, or even a hello -it can drastically change a persons day. I know it does for me. I spend a lot of time staring out my window. Going on long walks, when it feels like I'm going in circles. Back in my repressed days, I used to get on my car and drive for hours either in the mountains here, or into what constitutes a city here in Idaho.

When I start feeling lost like that, I come here. I just started coming here not long ago. Before, my online time was spent on sites where I felt relatively like I fit being there, but all the while having to hide my identity as a trans woman to have "friends."

I'm different. My social skills are geared towards survival skills. I'm working on that, this site helps. Most of the time I'm afraid of stomping around someone else's post in a reply with my big clumsy foot.

Relating to others out there means a lot to me. Hell, just having a smidge of conversation is divine! If you read me, you bridge the distance. I appreciate that lots!

Hi Dana,

   I could have written a lot of what you did write here. Especially that second paragraph. I spend a great deal of time not staring out the window, but staring at my computer screens. Before finding out that I belonged here at Susan's Place, I spent 15 -20 hours a day playing World of Warcraft. I was no stranger to Susan's having visited it many times over many years for other reasons. It wasn't until I discovered I was transgender that I found I belonged in this community. Now I'm a resident here.
  I try to support others here and I have received lots of support here myself. This site has helped me in so many ways that I can never repay my debt. I understand your need to go for a ride. I love to drive. I feel relaxed and free when I am behind the wheel. If I am upset or angry I find driving helps me return to a calmer state of being. I am not a road rager. I don't take my problems out on other drivers. Just being on the road soothes my soul. I haven't taken a drive for awhile now. My current state of mind has gotten in the way of wanting to do things I enjoyed.
  You are a member of this community and as such you and your participation are important to others here. Good or not so good your experiences if shared helps someone else. You may benefit by making a thread of your own where you can be you. It's what I have done  myself. My thread could be titled "All about Laurie" because I am in there good and bad my thoughts and feelings are there. What is also there is the thought and care of those that support me and help me though difficult times.
  Dana, you belong here. You are an important part of Susan's. You "fit" here with all of us.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Veronica-Lynn]

This site was suggested for me to check out by someone I consider a special friend. Her and I have made an unbelievable connection. Being new and just beginning my transition, MTF, I am grateful to have found a true friend in Dana. I can totally understand why she recommended this site for me-it embodies and represents what she and I believe in. It's nice to have the support of the community and to support the community. as well. I enjoy this site already and proud to be a part of this! There's a wonderful variety of people in lots of different stages of their development. Others like myself that are new should have no problem gaining knowledge, finding the support they need or just being able to be themselves.

Thank you Dana!
and
Thank you Susan's Place for just being yourselves and supportive!

[Sephirah]

I had to double check that I hadn't already posted here, due to the thread age. And wow, seeing all the people I remember from over the years was a bit of an emotional roller coaster.

Odd that I never posted in this thread before.

Hmm... over time my reasons have changed, sometimes subtly, sometimes drastically.

Now... to try and understand why people think the way they do, to gain insight on why they feel the way they feel, and to see the shifting visions of this world through countless new eyes. To maybe share what calm, strength, and empathy I have inside with others, so that they never feel alone, as I have at times. To attempt to instil a sense of purpose, hope, and the courage to believe that, regardless of circumstance, there is always a light in the darkness, even if walking towards it involves the hardest steps one ever has to take.

Funny how some things don't change. I guess mostly this is still true. The people may change, but the need for a place like this doesn't.

[Lizzeh]

Meet people, get advice, share art and interests and stuff. It's a nice community from what I see and it would be great to meet other trans folks and make new friends.

[TaiseiReborn]

Well wow I picked a lot of things, such as hopefully gaining more confidence by talking with others who went through what I am going through now. Not to mention hopefully some friends as well.

[Allison S]

For acceptance and understanding. Until being trans isn't a traumatic experience (it isn't for everyone, just most) then we'll always connect with each other. There's a void that men and sex can't fill for me.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

[ChrissyRyan]

I am trying to learn, I am wanting to see if I am thinking clearly about gender issues,
I am wondering if I am in denial, and I am gaining insights.  Not sure if I will be of any help to any visitors here by my posts but if I do, great. 

I have concluded that likely nothing about this will be resolved right away for me. 
That is okay though.

[Julie Marie]

I come here mainly because I'm isolated. Like, suuuuuper isolated. I'm not afraid to say it... I get lonely! I try my best not to bring my personal drama with me here. It feels like I do when I have written about some of the hardcore bad experiences I've had, but to me that is expression. I don't want to dredge up negatively, or bad experiences with others. I guess I just had to share my experiences.

I'd rather spend my time supporting others the best way I can. I wish I could do better though. Support is a powerful thing. When even just one person reaches out with advice, empathy, or even a hello -it can drastically change a persons day. I know it does for me. I spend a lot of time staring out my window. Going on long walks, when it feels like I'm going in circles. Back in my repressed days, I used to get on my car and drive for hours either in the mountains here, or into what constitutes a city here in Idaho.

When I start feeling lost like that, I come here. I just started coming here not long ago. Before, my online time was spent on sites where I felt relatively like I fit being there, but all the while having to hide my identity as a trans woman to have "friends."

I'm different. My social skills are geared towards survival skills. I'm working on that, this site helps. Most of the time I'm afraid of stomping around someone else's post in a reply with my big clumsy foot.

Relating to others out there means a lot to me. Hell, just having a smidge of conversation is divine! If you read me, you bridge the distance. I appreciate that lots!

You can also count me in as one who could have written much the same thing.  I have often said the title of the story of my life would be "Alone In A Crowd."  Outside my partner, I really have no one I can just sit down with and let my hair down.

We are not alone in that sense.  There are many others who feel utterly alone when not with those like them.  Social rules weren't created to be all-inclusive.  Too many people simply can't handle anything complex.   While we can work to change that, I find that until we do, acceptance is the best way to deal with a closed society.

[Jennifer.Diamonds]

   Honestly, in 2014 I had been pretty seriously thinking about eating my .45. I had just lost a lot of things that meant the world to me and wanted to scream. I didn't have any confidence at all, didn't know how to do my makeup, had mixed feelings about whether I should transition and thought if I did, that I would NEVER be passable. I came here for help, and unfortunately people were very busy and didn't really offer any help or even try to point me in a better direction. So, i left.
   I know now I was just the ugly duckling and that we all start somewhere. I'm glad I didn't go crazy. But now that I've come this far with only the support of my wife, I don't want others to have to do the same. I want to reach out to those who are just beginning their struggle and show them that this is a very reachable goal. Not just by saying "everything will be ok" but by working with them in any way I can.

[Shambles]

I joined just to simply scream out iam trans, i didnt want to go straight into denial and i needed to vebalise this somehow.

I stay because it gives me an element of calm and understanding in my life, the feeling that i am not alone, its not just something that other ppl feel. Its inside me too.

I consider everyone on here freinds regardless if ive spoken to you or not, its the only place i can truly know its not judgemental and im acepted.

Love you all x

[AnnMarie2017]

Because it's a peaceful, happy place, with so many nice people. And there is a lot of wisdom here.