Quote from: finewine on October 26, 2009, 06:05:08 AM
I'm sorry to see that you're feeling so down. Anything specific or just the general malaise of dealing with your various challenges?
well there is one thing but i must not mention it on here. i am, however, frustrated with myself because i'm scared of what will become of me when my parents die. i live alone, but often visit parents and the dog.
I've felt like suicide since the day i wrote and opened this thread.
something weird happened last night. I was listening to the song "Sympathy for the Devil" by GNR, and the very moment that axl rose said "Jesus Christ", i swear i felt something enter my body through my ear. left ear. i am scared that it may have been a demon, although my first thought was "Jesus is in me now". I cannot tell the difference.
in itself not being able to tell what's real and what's a dream, that bothers me a lot because i talk to people and say "hey you remember this" and they say "uhh...no" It's frightening.
people say that suicide is the coward's way out. i agree. if i do it my family will be torn apart, and my dog, she would grieve. I don't want to put all that on my loved ones.
i've written several suicide notes, but i've been too afraid to do it and have someone come along and read it.
well i may talk to you later. thank you for listening.
