stuck in a rut

[gin]

Almost two weeks ago I was in a great place in life. I had goals that I was working towards.  I was satisfied with my job.  I was doting on my children.  I was where I needed and wanted to be.  Then I took my oldest daughter to cheerleading practice and my life fell apart.

A little into practice I realized my cell phone was dead so I walked through the empty parking lot to my car to plug my phone in so I could call home.  I was sitting there on the phone with my husband when a man starting pacing back and forth in front of my car.  I honestly didn't pay much attention until he walked up to my door only to turn around and continue pacing back and forth.  When I looked up I was horrified to see that the man was staring at me and masterbating.  I hung up w/ my husband and called the police.  When they came, they couldn't find him.  I guess he figured what I was doing when I was so clumsily fumbling w/ my phone and he took off.  However, I did see him again after practice at which time he tried to run, but was tackled to the ground and arrested. 

During his arrest a very angry woman started screaming at me "you're stupid" "you're wrong" "you don't know what you're talking about" "you bitch"....all in front of my 5 year old.  And this was just the guy's aunt.  His cousin plays for the team my daughter cheers for.  Now I have to face the whole family 3 nights a week at practice and then at games on Saturday.  I'll also have to go to court and testify if the guy keeps pleading innocent.

This situation threw me out of the good place I was in and I can't seem to get back there.  I can't get THAT picture out of my head.  I know I wasn't physically hurt, but I can't help but feel hurt anyway.  I don't know why I'm putting this out here- you may just need to ignore me.  Guess I'm hoping writing about it will be somewhat theraputic and help me dig out of the rut I'm so desperately trying to get out of.

Ginger

[Ricki]

agghhh to late to pretend it did not happen?  If this was me I suppose I would laugh at the guy or egg him on to finish his business and get the heck out of the place?  I do not have kids thoguh and would not be intimidated to take care of myself so that's different too i guess?  If this was in a public place with children then that's quite different and you did the right thing regardless of being named the marter, hang in there!
exciting wierd things happen to me too i guess but i never had a kreeper do that to me? heh..

[cindianna_jones]

Oh Gin, this is way to wierd.  I would have done exactly what you did.  And I would feel the anxiety over the idiot's relatives just as you are doing.  I feel sorry for you hon.  I know that facing his family members will be hard. But you have done the right thing.

Cindi

[Mario]

Ginger,
     Wow what a freak! Some guys just get way too out of control. He wanted to do more, good thing you were inside the car. You can share anything you want here. We all go through wierd stuff sometimes and this place is sometimes the best place to talk about it. I'm sure his aunt thinks you are lying because that is how family is. I'm glad you are alright

                                        Marco

[Laurry]

Gin,

I am glad you weren't hurt, and that the only thing that happened in front of your children is some lady calling you names.  What people do, and how they act, around consenting adults is one thing, but when it involves children, or around children, I have zero tolerance.  This guy needs some serious help before something much worse happens.

It will be difficult for you being around his family, but stick to your guns.  You did not do anything wrong, and by stopping him now, you may be saving everybody from some very serious problems in the future.  Do not back down, and by all means, testify against him.  That will also not be easy, but think about your kids...that will give you all the strength you need.  Also, know that everyone here supports you and will be praying for you.

........Laurie

[tinkerbell]

Ewwwww! yuck!  what a weirdo!  My sister had a similar experience with one of those psychos.  She was waiting for a red light to change (you know the ones that take five million light years to change back to green), well this guy was driving his own car and waiting for the light as well, but then he began to lick his car window in an up and down motion, like a complete freak.  My sister came home crying and very scared.

I am very glad he did not hurt you, Gin.  It is always a good idea to make sure the cell phone is not out of batteries or carry a mace with you at all times...




tinkerbell 

[BrandiOK]

  Don't even think about feeling guilty for reporting that sicko......you did the right thing.

  Take solice in the fact that you were instrumental in taking a perv off the street before he moved past masturbating and hurt someone.  This behavior is a psychological condition and likely would have led to more and more devient behavior in order for him to get his rush.  You did the right thing girl. 

  As for his family, screw them....they are the ones who aren't dealing with reality and you have every right to look them in the eye and be proud.  It's a totally natural reaction to feel bad about what happened....on the extreme end many women who have been raped often feel compassion for their attacker. 

  If you start feeling like you did something wrong then think about what this person did...what he actually did to you.  Feel proud about stopping him before he did something worse.  Anybody who doesn't see that is just ignorant and isn't worth you worrying about.....I personally admire you for standing up for what is right.

<hugz Gin>

[Gill]

Hello Gin:

I am so glad you weren't physically hurt, but I do know that you were hurt.  We as women (I am stuck here for words) end up being a victim so often.  But know this, this person now is behind bars or may soon be, he has been outed to the community as a perv, the police and authorities and his own family now cannot hide from the fact of who this person really is.  You did the right thing.  Talk to your doctor about what happened, he/she may be able to put you in touch with someone that may help you through all of this.

Gill

[Melissa]

I completely agree with Gill.  I think is a way you were raped.  Reporting him was the right thing to do.  The other thing you need to do is take some steps to help yourself out now.  Perhaps seeing a therapist or the going normal course a rape victim would go through for seeking treatment.  As for the family, it almost sounds like harassment.  Perhaps you or somebody close to you (like your husband) should talk to the school.  Nobody can do anything about the problem if they are not aware of it.  I'm so sorry Gin.  Hugs.

Melissa

[Julie Marie]

Gin, you did nothing wrong and have nothing to apologize for or feel bad about.  That guy was the problem, not you.  If it didn't happen to you it would have happened to someone else.  Either way, the guy would have ended up in the same place eventually.  That his family blames you is proof of how they have allowed this perversion to go unchecked.  They are just as guilty as he is.

There are many girls now who won't have to endure what you went through because you did the right thing.  They will never thank you because they will never know what you saved them from.  So on behalf of all those girls I thank you for taking this man off the streets.  Hopefully he will get help and in the process his family will too. 

I admire your courage Gin.  You are a very special lady.

[gin]

Thank you all so much for your encouraging words and support.  I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again, this is an incredible community to be a part of.  I will post an update whenever I get a court date, etc.  I've been told that it could take as long as two months.  We only have two more weeks of regular practice/games then it's competition only.....no football players (or their families) there!   In the mean time, the police have recommended that I not be unescorted to the field since mother, father, aunt and more feel the need to show their presence at all times.  My husband has no problem showing his presence either.  Also, there are a few off-duty officers that are keeping an eye on the situation.  Again, that you all for being here!

Gin

[LostInTime]

Sorry to read that someone else has had this happen as well.  At least the police responded when you called and there may be some sort of closure with it.  Mine happened at work and the most they could do was toss him outside.  One of the guys that worked there did get a description of the perv's vehicle so I could keep an eye out and a couple of guys escorted me out of work each day for a week or so.  The memory does fade but it is not anything one will forget.

Hugs,
LIT