How much can or should you tell therepest?

[Bellaon7]

When I go to my app, they ask me "do you feel like harming yourself or others"? Of course I say no, cuz they'll hurt me bad otherwise, but I always wonder, what if I say "yes, I feel like harming both myself & others, but now it's just us". How does this go from here? I expect a straigh jacket & a padded room, & as bad as that sounds, they will mess with you untill you die & then desecrate your body with no respect. So when your asked a question, you will live or die accordingly.

[Janet_Girl]

Having been in that situation I can state that if you say you are a DTSO, you will spend at least a week in the special ward.  I did that the last time I slit my wrist.  And it was good in one respect in that I came out to myself and started my journey.


Janet

[Deanna_Renee]

I have a good relationship with my therapist and feel that I can discuss anything with him without reservations. Of course, I have never been a threat to anyone else and even though I have contemplated (to varying degrees) taking my own life, hundreds of times, there has not been an immediate and serious incident that would require such intervention. As I have broached the topic of considering suicide, we have spent time discussing the issues and solutions and how I handled myself and then move on. We have revisited the topic a couple of times in following sessions, but the white coat and padded room brigade have not been detached to "mess with me" or "desecrate my body".

I suppose the real question is how severe are your feelings of suicide or homicide? If there is immanent danger to yourself or others, then I think it would be her/his duty to ensure safety (yours and others). I do hope you are nowhere near either situation, if so, please, please seek help immediately. I don't want you to damage yourself or anyone else. I gather from some of your recent posts that you are in a very desperate and bad situation, so please find some help. NOW!

Stay safe,

Deanna

[jesse]

imo saying yes will result in more counsling sessions because prior to ptting you on hrt they must adress other issues that may be running concurent to the gid first. It is thee responciility to act as gate keepers. if you act on it you will definately be placed in a facility for evaluation
jessica

[Bellaon7]

The one thing I wanted to get to before I went off the deep end there is where is the line drawn between dr/patient confidentiallity & what goes on your personal med record, which is open to everyone, most importantly med ins companies. If one has a suicide attempt on their med record, do you seriously expect to be able to get med ins? I tell all in the med comm what I think they want to hear because I don't trust ANYONE!

[Arch]

I believe that most therapists can differentiate between suicidal intent and non-suicidal, non-life-threatening self-harm.

What a mouthful.

On a couple of occasions, my therapist has known that I was hurting myself. He did not call the men in white coats. He gave me to understand that before he could intervene (and break confidentiality), he had to feel that my life was in imminent danger.

I have never spoken to him about a sincere desire to hurt anyone else. I've told him that I had fantasies about hurting other people, but I was never anywhere close to actually doing it. And he knew that. So again, no men in white coats.

YMMV.

I should add that trust is the key ingredient in the therapist-client relationship. If you can't trust this therapist right now, are you at least trying to get to the point of trusting him/her? If not, is there any chance that you would learn to trust a different therapist?

From my perspective, it's not good to lie to a therapist if you expect to get anywhere. But you have to find someone that you can learn to trust.

[Bellaon7]

Ty Arch, I actually vent here, for better or worse, rather than the med comm. I don't feel the need or desire to hurt anyone, espcialy in the sense of if I'm gonna check out, I outta take some scum with me. I know of examples of horrible people, but know of no one I could hurt, even if there were not consequences. I trust the people here, even if they're total strangers, more than the med comm. I feel like I can come here & just let loose as long as I'm not desrespecting or offending others. I don't feel comfortable interacting like this with the med experts, even if they're the proffessionals. I'd rather have the closest things to friends as I can find!

[Hannah]

I trust the people here

Thank you

I tell my therapist everything, and most of the time she is a fantastic resource and friend. I went through a couple therapists on my way to her, both of whom just sat there thinking about what they were going to say next instead of really listening. This lady is a model of the sort of therapist I hope to be, except I'm thinking of working ret into my practice. However, she has done several things to earn my trust, I didn't just give it to her blindly...

[Korlee]

Interesting to see the different turns when talking with a therapist some have had.  I wish I could have found like the ones you speak up where you can trust them.  Any trust I ever gave any of mine always had a negative effect.  Even off comments were taken seriously in a negative way and they cost me greatly.  While I did not get taken away in a quote "padded wagon"  they did end up telling others close to me or something similar.  I had to wonder just how competent they were to take venting seriously.  Which I mean they were told it was a vent and that I needed to just talk to calm down.  Everyone has times like that and says things they'd never really do.

They would never separate the vent from the problems I'd actually like to address.  The one that did ended up having me come out to my mother ten years ago.  That was a huge mistake. 

I really do wish I could find one that had a real head on its shoulders and was down on this planet we live on.  That I could trust but as of right now I'd never trust one again. 

So my advice is kinda on the negative side.  I don't trust them.  I could not tell them much like others do here anymore.  So my opinion could be skewed.  Others here seem to think you should though.  I'd say it would come down to how much do you think that therapist knows you?  That they'd know to take action or not.

[gothique11]

mmmm, but the padded room is fun! I like the padded room!   

[Pippa]

There is no point in holding back with your therapist.   I had therapy for depression a couple of years ago.   The depresson was partly as a result of the way I had been treated in my previous job but it was also partly due to my transgender status.   I did not come out at the time, although I now believe that my therapist suspected something of the truth.   I have regretted not coming out there and then ever since.

[CodyJess]

Honestly, I'd never have told my last therapist that I was actually hurting myself at the time. I'd ended up in a ward for a week at my mother's urging already, and unless you're actually, genuinely suicidal or homicidal, those places're terrible. A complete and total violation of human rights.

Sometimes it makes me wonder how many people are actually cray -before- they end up there, and how many go nuts -because- they're there.

[Wolf Man]

If you have a decent feel with the therapist or if you've been seeing them and have a great relationship, being open is the best option.

However, if you're not comfortable or they give off a bad vibe try to avoid saying something.

It's really just your personal sense and feeling that you should follow on this.

[MyKa]

I luv my therapist. She is the only person i feel comfortable with, and that is kinda sad. My mother always tries reaching out to me and i don't budge! If it wasn't for her i wouldn't be where i am today! Honesty is the best policy!

[tekla]

If you can't completely trust your therapist your not doing either of you any service, your cheating yourself and pimping them.

[AweSAM!]

Honestly, tell them everything. There are some things that I tell my therapist, which would make a normal person cringe, and then wish they had never heard. Trust me, I've told my therapist some stuff that I hold in my mind as being more sensitive than the most controversial government files. Since conversations with therapists are confidential, have confidence to say what matters to you, and anything you have been through.

Edit: If you don't tell your therapist everything, you are cheating yourself. Also, you're wasting time and money. It's like going to a doctor and not divulging that you have some abnormal pains... Essentially, it is up to you whether you want to get [the right] help or not.

[katgirl74]

I would agree that you should tell your therapist everything. Transition does not solve all your problems by itself.  The therapist should be treating the whole person not just your transition. If you don't feel comfortable opening up, then you might want to look for a therapist with whom you can feel comfortable. I would really suggest working through any non transition issues you may have. If you don't now, you may go through transition and find that those issues are still there and you life isn't really any better. Many people have made the journey to find that they can never outrun other problems. If you are ever in a position where you feel like hurting yourself or others, wouldn't it be better to get the help then not to get it?

Kat

[K8]

I would really suggest working through any non transition issues you may have. If you don't now, you may almost certainly will go through transition and find that those issues are still there and you life isn't really any better. Many people have made the journey to find that they can never outrun other problems. If you are ever in a position where you feel like hurting yourself or others, wouldn't it be better to get the help then not to get it?

My 2¢. 

- Kate