Reading this I have a couple thoughts based on my own experiences,
1) The rule of two is not always true depending on the transpeople. I know several transpeople that I can spend an entire day with and have zero issues with any of us getting read.
2) I do tend to be selective with which transpeople I spend time with. But my deciding factor has nothing to do with appearance, but rather stability. Far too many transpeople have underlying mental health issues they are not dealing with (and I'm not referring to the emotional impact of GID). I wouldn't hang with a cisperson who undertakes self-destructive behavior, so why would I do so with a transperson?.
3) Here's a few simple rules of transpeople I will *not* associate with:
a) If you drool over my cleavage, I will not spend time with you (unless, of course, you are attractive enough to me to *want* you to do so).
b) If you cannot follow basic societal norms (for example, if you are in a skirt and not wearing underwear, do not sit so others can see everything that is going on).
c) If you are old enough to be my parents, do not expect me to be a friend or to want to spend time with you. Generational gaps are vast.
d) If the only thing we have in common is being trans, I'm not going to find you socially appealing to hang with.
I think these rules are pretty typical of any human interaction, yet to my surprise, several local transwomen become offended if I state them.
4) It surprises me how few transwomen appreciate the need for certain areas of our lives to be trans-free. There are areas where we are, by need, stealth. To intrude upon those areas is not cool. For example, I was hired to work for someone unaware of my trans-status. To have another transperson decide they can intrude upon that space without my invitation because they know me is *not* acceptable behavior.
