To follow a dream or transition.....

[justme19]

Hey 
So at the moment im having quite alot of touble deciding what to do. Im a very sporty person. (not going to say witch sport, for a few reason) In this particual sport ive been told be a few people that I have the talent and skills to make it all the way to the top, and trust me I want this to be my life!!!!!   But if i do this transition would almost be impossible! GID is not very well excepted in this sport at all! Alot of competitions that i have read about will not except people even after GRS and HRT. Im hoping that this will all change if the sport is introduced into the Olympic games. (Because in the Olympics, im pritty sure if you have had HRT and GRS, you can compete as you proper gender) But that is off topic anyways.

I know im just going to get answers like, follow you heart and stuff. Im just so lost at the moment. I want to do both, maybe i could change all these issues about GID sport (???some how?)

Im just so confused, this is the only thing i need to make sure im 100% sure about before i come out. I just want to do both so bad!

[jesse]

ok im going to try to be sencere in this responce Gid is forever until you fix the issue careers in sports are not.  however the fame that follows it is in a lot of ways. So lets say for sake of arguement you opt for the sports choice and you in fact make it all the way to the top. You have a sucessful career and at its peak you retire. Now you can concentrate on your GID or can You?
You can if you have no problem being out in the open about being trans for the rest of your life. This will make dating or any relationship for that matter a little harder to persue unless your lucky enough to find a partner who dosnt care about your past. Now elets talk about sports interviews resulting from your fame after you retire you want to talk about the sport the interviewer wants to talk about your transition after all which is the bigger news story your career or famous athlete who transitions. See where im going with this...
in the end its your life only you can decide what it is you want.. i would start by defining what it is you hope to acomplish by transitioning.. Gid is manageable for some but not all.. if you can manage it you can have both if you cant well then you really have one choice

[Kimberley]

Very well said Jesse.

[Naturally Blonde]

Hey 
So at the moment im having quite alot of touble deciding what to do. Im a very sporty person. (not going to say witch sport, for a few reason) In this particual sport ive been told be a few people that I have the talent and skills to make it all the way to the top, and trust me I want this to be my life!!!!!   But if i do this transition would almost be impossible! GID is not very well excepted in this sport at all! Alot of competitions that i have read about will not except people even after GRS and HRT. Im hoping that this will all change if the sport is introduced into the Olympic games. (Because in the Olympics, im pritty sure if you have had HRT and GRS, you can compete as you proper gender) But that is off topic anyways.

I know im just going to get answers like, follow you heart and stuff. Im just so lost at the moment. I want to do both, maybe i could change all these issues about GID sport (???some how?)

Im just so confused, this is the only thing i need to make sure im 100% sure about before i come out. I just want to do both so bad!

M to F Transsexuals unfortunitely will be labeled as men if competing in sports. You are probably right to stay as you are if you entering into sports events. You could maybe consider transition at a later date after your possible success in sport.

[justme19]

Thanks all.

M to F Transsexuals unfortunitely will be labeled as men if competing in sports. You are probably right to stay as you are if you entering into sports events.

In this sport power and muscle has very little to do with anything.
There is actully one very sucsessful MTF in this sport already. Thats why I want to transition before i start, but I still get worried that maybe they ban MTF's competting.

Sorry im kind of answering my own question, just kind of confused at the moment.

[Keroppi]

GID is not very well excepted in this sport at all! Alot of competitions that i have read about will not except people even after GRS and HRT. Im hoping that this will all change if the sport is introduced into the Olympic games. (Because in the Olympics, im pritty sure if you have had HRT and GRS, you can compete as you proper gender) But that is off topic anyways.

Yes one can. [1]

In this sport power and muscle has very little to do with anything.
There is actully one very sucsessful MTF in this sport already. Thats why I want to transition before i start, but I still get worried that maybe they ban MTF's competting.

If they are trying to become an Olympic sport, then they'd have to go along with the Olympic code and what not so maybe. Of course, it's one thing being allowed to compete, and another getting the selection committee to select you to represent your country.

I actually fully understand how you feel. I'm active (well, have been active) in an Olympic sport, that in theory I could get good enough to compete in Commonwealth and less unlikely Olympic. It's a very small sport in this country, and everyone will know my history if/when I come out. It's tough, I don't know....

[Megan]

I'm in the same boat

Public career and ruining it with TS. The dream is just a bit more important

Actually no

The dream is my soul
And sadly no matter what
Society will always see a man instead of woman (can't live in stealth due to career)

[Naturally Blonde]

Thanks all.In this sport power and muscle has very little to do with anything.
There is actully one very sucsessful MTF in this sport already. Thats why I want to transition before i start, but I still get worried that maybe they ban MTF's competting.

Sorry im kind of answering my own question, just kind of confused at the moment.

Sport is pretty biased against transgendered competitors and I don't know of any athlete who has managed to dodge the gender testing. Even a genetic female with too much testoterone will come under heavy investigation unfortunitely.

[Keroppi]

One don't compete in stealth. At least officially with the Olympic, you are allowed to compete with them fully knowing you were transgendered. But like I said before, it's a different issue getting the national selection people to overlook that fact and select you.

[Naturally Blonde]

One don't compete in stealth. At least officially with the Olympic, you are allowed to compete with them fully knowing you were transgendered. But like I said before, it's a different issue getting the national selection people to overlook that fact and select you.

Do you think you ever will transition? my ultimate dream was to transition and that overid any other ambitions I had when I was younger.

[Bellaon7]

I am at a similar crossroads that is full of monkey wrenches(I can relate to not going into all the details). It's just one of those things that you if can't do both at once, you're the only one that can make the best(or least worst) choice. On a lighter I'm almost 100% sure that they will not let you compete with the secret stealth, even though that would have to mean they know about the secret stealth, which of course would have to mean it's not a secret. I'm not an expert on the secret stealth, but have recently learned of the three 1/2's & will not stop digging until I get to the bottem of this matter.   

[justme19]

Thanks for the reply's. I just don't see how I would live so long as a guy, I already HATE it now!!!!
Hmmmm so confusing hahaha.
thanks all!

[rejennyrated]

Thanks for the reply's. I just don't see how I would live so long as a guy, I already HATE it now!!!!
Hmmmm so confusing hahaha.
thanks all!

Back in the mid 70's I was one of the VERY few who had the opportunity (thanks to a rich and sympathetic mother) to transition at 17. Sadly I wasted that opportunity for different, but similar reasons (ie career concerns). I fell out with John Randall and stormed out on him telling him that he was crazier than I was! I finally took the plunge in my early twenties but I will ALWAYS bitterly regret those lost 5 or 6 years.

You can't run away from who and what you are. It will always haunt you and if you are like me five years on you will be suicidal and realising that a life lived in falsehood is no life at all.

I would walk into rooms knowing that people who thought they were "meeting me" were actually looking at an illusion. I became obsessed with whether they would accept me if they knew the true me.

Strangely, once I had accepted my reality and not only transitioned but undergone SRS (which thanks to private medicine and a sympathetic UK doctor I managed to achieve surprisingly quickly) I found that my career took off if a very unexpected way and here in the UK I became quite well known and respected in my field. I think partly this was because I was now happier and more relaxed and therefore also more productive.

The final irony came over twenty years later, when I found myself in hospital  and undergoing an intimate and rather thourough medical examination and full consideration of my notes. The consultant eventually did ultrasound tests and a full pelvic exam, measured various hormones, did blood tests before finally breaking it to me that I had been intersex all along! I simply didn't know it, and if my mother had suspicions (which looking back I think she may have done) she had kept them to herself. So actually I have lived for most of my life believing that I was classically Transsexual.

The bottom line of what I am trying to say is really nothing to do with being intersex or anything like that - That's merely an asside to show you that one can NEVER predict the future. Things seldom work out according to plan - life throws you curveballs when you least expect them - so please don't put off till tomorrow what you need to do today, and please don't mortgage your happiness nad peace of mind against the promise of future success which may never actually happen.

Whatever life throws at us, we are who we are - and it's pointless and foolish to try to run away. A better course would be to work hard and try to be the first to break through. It can be done - just look a Michelle Dumaresque.

Well that's my twopence worth anyway - I hope it helps - but if not it's your life and you must do what you think is right.

Either way I wish you every success and good luck.

[Naturally Blonde]

Back in the mid 70's I was one of the VERY few who had the opportunity (thanks to a rich and sympathetic mother) to transition at 17. Sadly I wasted that opportunity for different, but similar reasons (ie career concerns). I fell out with John Randall and stormed out on him telling him that he was crazier than I was! I finally took the plunge in my early twenties but I will ALWAYS bitterly regret those lost 5 or 6 years.

I felt the same way at 15 in the 70's but didn't have the opportunity you had at that time. If I did I would have gone for it big time!

Wasn't John Randall an early Charing Cross Psychiatrist. Not a great start for anyone!

[rejennyrated]

I felt the same way at 15 in the 70's but didn't have the opportunity you had at that time. If I did I would have gone for it big time!

Wasn't John Randall an early Charing Cross Psychiatrist. Not a great start for anyone!

Yep - got it one! Although I saw him in the back consulting room at number 79? or was it number 81? (I don't know my memory is failing) Harley street as a private patient.

He was a bit odd - to say the least. He would sit there at his big oak desk stategically positioned under a skylight so that when the sun shone in it illuminated him in a shaft of light. While you, the patient, sat demurely in a little chair in a dark corner. He would finger his paper knife almost symbolically. It was as though you had come to visit God in his office - and he was deciding - this one yes, that one no!

Woe betide the patient who came in jeans...

JR "Miss D. I see you are wearing jeans today instead of a skirt. Does this show a lack of commitment perhaps?"
Me "Oh no doctor, lot's of girls wear them these days"
JR "Not my girls"
Me "I'm not your girl I'm your patient doctor"
JR "Miss D. if you don't adopt a more compliant attitude I can always take you off the list...." 

You get the idea. In the end I kind of went round him because he died in 1984 at which point I very rapidly returned and, thanks to a sympathetic replacement, the fact that on the second go I had already unilaterally fully transitioned myself before hand, and I had money to burn, I was able to buy a quick result and almost instant surgery.

I'm not advocating that aproach by the way. But by then I was so depressed and desperate that the fact that one antipodean Psychiatrist (who shall be nameless to protect him) had the guts to defy the Benjamin rules and let me have surgery almost instantly probably literally saved my life! And despite those who would criticise him I remain to this day a very close personal friend of that particular doctor. He really did save my life because he listened to me - not the rules! A rare man.

[Naturally Blonde]

Yep - got it one! Although I saw him in the back consulting room at number 79? or was it number 81? (I don't know my memory is failing) Harley street as a private patient.

He was a bit odd - to say the least. He would sit there at his big oak desk stategically positioned under a skylight so that when the sun shone in it illuminated him in a shaft of light. While you, the patient, sat demurely in a little chair in a dark corner. He would finger his paper knife almost symbolically. It was as though you had come to visit God in his office - and he was deciding - this one yes, that one no!

Woe betide the patient who came in jeans...

JR "Miss D. I see you are wearing jeans today instead of a skirt. Does this show a lack of commitment perhaps?"
Me "Oh no doctor, lot's of girls wear them these days"
JR "Not my girls"
Me "I'm not your girl I'm your patient doctor"
JR "Miss D. if you don't adopt a more compliant attitude I can always take you off the list...." 

You get the idea. In the end I kind of went round him because he died in 1984 at which point I very rapidly returned and, thanks to a sympathetic replacement, the fact that on the second go I had already unilaterally fully transitioned myself before hand, and I had money to burn, I was able to buy a quick result and almost instant surgery.

I'm not advocating that aproach by the way. But by then I was so depressed and desperate that the fact that one antipodean Psychiatrist (who shall be nameless to protect him) had the guts to defy the Benjamin rules and let me have surgery almost instantly probably literally saved my life! And despite those who would criticise him I remain to this day a very close personal friend of that particular doctor. He really did save my life because he listened to me - not the rules! A rare man.

I had similar experiences at Charing cross from 2001 to 2005. But occasionally I would wear a skirt as well as women's trousers, but you usually find the psychiatrists there are male and middle aged and know absolutely nothing about fashion or how women dress.
You are trying hard and suceeding in blending in and looking like a normal genetic female and NOT looking like a panto dame which seems to be the image ingrained in their warped minds. 

It was a horrendous time and a lot of time was wasted by attending their clinic. They refused HRT in 2002 and also a referral for GRS in 2005 (even though I complied with the HBSOC) and various other surgeries I was seeking. Since leaving things have vastly improved. I am forever greatful for seeing Russell Reid as well as helpful people within the NHS not in anyway connected with those dreadful gender clinics.

Unfortunitely they see it as a 'role change' who is female in name only instead of a proper physical 'gender change' where you actually look female.

[rejennyrated]

I am forever greatful for seeing Russell Reid as well as helpful people within the NHS not in anyway connected with those dreadful gender clinics.

Ah well - since you have named him - Russell and I, and indeed my life partner for the last 21 years whom I met through him (a mutual friend) have been very close friends since that clinic in the early 80's. I've been to many parties with him, stayed at his house, and indeed he has stayed with us. As you probably know he is now retired from gender work but I can personally testify that he continues to enjoy life to the full.

I count him as one of my dearest friends. Particularly since he only saw me as a patient once, instantly realised where I was in life, signed me off and thereby saved me from a living nightmare. How those of you who have to go through all those NHS delays and medical politics cope I really don't know.

It's true I did a lot of "work" myself, I had already transitioned and could prove that I had lived out my year - even if without any medical help. But the point is that man listened and trusted me and I will never forget that.

But I think we are getting a little off topic here - so perhaps we can continue this chat via PM once I have accrued my necessary 15 posts and can PM.

[Naturally Blonde]

Ah well - since you have named him - Russell and I, and indeed my life partner for the last 21 years whom I met through him (a mutual friend) have been very close friends since that clinic in the early 80's. I've been to many parties with him, stayed at his house, and indeed he has stayed with us. As you probably know he is now retired from gender work but I can personally testify that he continues to enjoy life to the full.

I count him as one of my dearest friends. Particularly since he only saw me as a patient once, instantly realised where I was in life, signed me off and thereby saved me from a living nightmare. How those of you who have to go through all those NHS delays and medical politics cope I really don't know.

It's true I did a lot of "work" myself, I had already transitioned and could prove that I had lived out my year - even if without any medical help. But the point is that man listened and trusted me and I will never forget that.

But I think we are getting a little off topic here - so perhaps we can continue this chat via PM once I have accrued my necessary 15 posts and can PM.

I only saw him once but he was very caring, understanding and helpful. I was 2 years into my transition before I saw him and quite rightly he started me on HRT on that appointment. He was a breath of fresh air after the abuse and years of stalling I recieved from the NHS gender clinic.