Been married for 15 years but have always been attracted to transgender women

[goldman44]

Hi all,

I am definitely living inside a closet because I have been married for 15 years to a lovely woman; however, I have always been attracted to transgender women, especially those with real breasts.

Before and during my marriage, I have dated transgender women and always found the intimate moments completely normal and erotically intense; however, whenever I see two men having sex, on tv or in magazines, I become totally repulsed to the point where I shiver and actually feel physically sick.  Yet again, I find oral sex, with a transgender woman, totally natural and beautiful.

What concerns me, is the older I am becoming, my feelings toward transgender women are getting stronger and stronger.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Sarah Louise]

My only comment is that Susan's is NOT a dating site, you will not find a girl or guy here for recreational activities.  Please follow all rules here.

Sarah L.

[BrandiOK]

Before and during my marriage, I have dated transgender women.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I have some advice...divorce your wife and give her everything, she deserves better.

[Asfsd4214]

 
I have some advice...divorce your wife and give her everything, she deserves better.

My advice would be to not cheat on your wife or go behind her back. 

[heatherrose]

Goldman,

I can understand why you would find a transgender woman attractive but
is it only a sexual attraction that you feel or is it something deeper for you?
You said that your feelings are getting stronger and stronger. Does that mean
that you feel a compulsion to leave your wife to be with a transgender woman?
I would suggest, before you allow your compulsion to destroy your life and
that of your wife's, find a therapist who has experience with gender
identity issues, that you can talk to. I wish you peace.

[Bellaon7]

You're going to have to make a choice. It's totally unfair to your wife to put her life at potention risk to satisfy your indescretion.
Post Merge: November 14, 2009, 12:32:40 AM
You're going to have to make a choice. It's totally unfair to your wife to put her life at potential risk to satisfy your indescretion.

[heatherrose]

...and it was completely unfair for me to marry my exes, hoping that it would "cure" me.
Why are we jumping down this guy's throat? He has not hit on anyone and came asking for advice.

[Bellaon7]

...and it was completely unfair for me to marry my exes, hoping that it would "cure" me.
Why are we jumping down this guy's throat? He has not hit on anyone and came asking for advice.

This was my gut feeling as well after seeing this guy getting doggpiled. The rub is, no matter how you look at this, he's gotta come to terms with his wife. I don't jump to the conclusion that this is an evil predetor cruising for ts. I can feel empathy, but he's gotta make a decision. We're not talking transition here, he's engaging in activity which may be putting his family in immediate physical risk, that ain't right.
Post Merge: November 13, 2009, 11:39:31 PM

...and it was completely unfair for me to marry my exes, hoping that it would "cure" me.
Why are we jumping down this guy's throat? He has not hit on anyone and came asking for advice.

Post Merge: November 13, 2009, 09:39:52 PM

...and it was completely unfair for me to marry my exes, hoping that it would "cure" me.
Why are we jumping down this guy's throat? He has not hit on anyone and came asking for advice.

[heatherrose]

Not to worry, being soundly thrashed, he probably won't be back.

[Autumn]

Why are we jumping down this guy's throat?

He asked for it. 

Not every extramarital relation is a) bad or b) unwelcome by the other partner.

You're attracted to a sexual abnormality. People aren't supposed to be primarily attracted to transsexuals. It's a mindf--k. Therapy to discover why is a good idea. You may just like cock, but not male bodies. There are a lot of guys like that. There are women like that. But figure out what it is to you.

[Luc]

Am I the only one who objects to this guy's post on the basis that he assumes transgender women are different from other women?

[heatherrose]

I saw him as someone struggling to understand himself much like all of us
because of the question that he actually asked. This might have been the first
time that he actually attempted contact with "transgender" people outside of
those among our "community" who "play for pay" but he did not come in trolling.
What caused everybody's hackles to raise up was his honesty in presenting his
situation. Instead of thinking about what he was asking, everybody assumed he was
a troll, though he never indicated that that was his intentions for coming here.

[OriSoul]

I really hate guys that cheat... If I was his wife and I know you probably hear this a lot but I'd most defiantly rip his balls out and there is a safe way to do so without killing the poor guy so he has to live with it.

[heatherrose]

...and there are people who can not stand born males who refuse to act like it
and would be willing to rip your package off, hoping that you do die.
Who the hell are we to judge someone?

[Bellaon7]

I think that I can stir the pot up a little more here. I think guys that are attracted to pre-op ts are a good thing, I in fact dated one that was married. Now I was wrong to date a married man, & he was to potentially putting his wife as risk of an std & wrong for cheating on his wife at all. My main point here is what's wrong with men or women that are attracted to pre-op ts's? 

[Asfsd4214]

...and there are people who can not stand born males who refuse to act like it
and would be willing to rip your package off, hoping that you do die.
Who the hell are we to judge someone?

Being a victim of persecution doesn't mean you should be expected to condone and accept any and all kinds of behavior.

I think that I can stir the pot up a little more here. I think guys that are attracted to pre-op ts are a good thing, I in fact dated one that was married. Now I was wrong to date a married man, & he was to potentially putting his wife as risk of an std & wrong for cheating on his wife at all. My main point here is what's wrong with men or women that are attracted to pre-op ts's?

Nothing, as long as it isn't a paraphilia or sexual fetish.

I can only speak for myself, but I wouldn't wanna be with a guy who wanted me because I'm TS.

[heatherrose]

What part of being a "victim of persecution" gives anyone
the right to look down their nose at someone else?

[Megan]

Wow you guys are being harsh.

You're taking this all to personal.

His wife going to think

He's cheating on me with men?!

[OriSoul]

Yeah I have no problem with men liking T's its just the cheating part I disprove of, like come on if your with your partner you want them to be loyal and not cheat on you am I right?  I agree with "asfsd4214" Nothing is wrong, as long as it isn't a paraphilia or sexual fetish. Unless that's okay with you the Trans. My opinion about it is also slightly different, when I get the complete package done (everything) I never want to be looked back on as a Trans gender male to female.  I just want to live as if I always been a female.

[heatherrose]

Actually, he did state that he has "cheated"

Before and during my marriage, I have dated transgender women...

Giving him the benefit of the doubt,
he did not say whether or not his marriage
is an open relationship.