No T for Miniar... >.<

[Miniar]

Just a quick update:

At the moment I am having a substantial emotional breakdown because I was able to reach the doctor's "office" where booking of appointment happens and was told the following.
He's booked solid this entire moth.
and; I can't have them book me an appointment as he only takes referrals.

And I don't know if he even got my email.
And I'm so tired at the moment.

I got up at 7:20 in the morning (after falling asleep around 1:30-2 ish), got daughter sorted for school, packed the last few things, grabbed a coffee.
Walked 5 minutes to a busstop, rode the bus for 3 minutes, and then walked for about 40 minutes to the airport, in the cold.
I sat and read at the airport and on the plane and landed in Rvk at 10:30.
Walk to my dad's (an hour there).

The fight cost me 15.000 isk...
down the drain...
no point!

I've no idea where to go from here.
I can't afford another trip 'till Feb or something.
IF then.

I feel lied to.
He said; "next time".
This is "next time"...

Feels like a kick to the chest.

[Jeatyn]

aw dude I was hoping all that appointment mess would work out ok once you got there

[Janet_Girl]

Bovine Excrement.  That is not right.  And I suppose that they isn't anyone you can call to complaint.  I am really sorry, Sugar.  I have a couple of ideas, but I can not mention them here.     That is so not right.

Huggles Big Guy.


Janet

[Steph]

I feel for you Miniar.

I recall I had to wait 6 months for an appointment with my endo, and that was after a three month wait for the referral.  It sure isn't a quick process.

Hang in there.

-={LR}=-

[Miniar]

I was told, "next time"
I gave a full 3 week warning for "next time"
That's why it hits so hard, because up until Tuesday last week I was 100% sure I would be getting this appointment.
Then the speech therapist called and a little doubt crept in, but I was still "sure" it would work itself out, that I'd probably get an appointment, even if I'd have to litterally run to make it.
And then this.
Yanked right out from under my nose.

I wasn't even consciously aware of just how important this was to me until now.

[finewine]

Damn mate, that is totally frustrating!  If they led you to believe you had an appointment, you should kick up merry hell about it!  It's not just about the money (although that is, of course, important) but particularly the emotional kick in the balls that goes with it.

Wish I could be there to buy you a beer and have a good cathartic rant with you!

[Miniar]

my stomach doesn't respond well to beer, but the thought is appreciated.

[Kurzar]

UGH. I haven't had to deal with that kind of run around, but damn! They are playing with peoples lives and emotions. WTF

[Lachlann]

Wow, that sucks Min. :/

Who knows, maybe we'll end up starting T at the same time.

[Miniar]

thanks

Mood's still really dark, and probably will be for a while.

[Constance]

That's awful. I hope things clear up somehow.

[Nero]

Wow, I certainly wasn't ready to read this title. Ouch bro. Is there a higher up you can go to? Sounds like this doctor screwed up.

[Miniar]

The gut-wrenching truth is... these are the Only people who work with transpeople in Iceland.
My options are "do it myself" or "these guys".


Post Merge: November 18, 2009, 04:12:38 AM
Quick update this morning...

Psychologist phoned.

Said he'd fix it.

Said not to worry.

I don't buy it, I don't have any hopes it'll be fixed. I'm just.. blah.. about it now.
Apathetic and dark in the mood.
Post Merge: November 18, 2009, 08:11:47 AM
You know..

I didn't think it could get worse.. but it did.

Psychologist told me.
He bloody well told me!
That I could start hormone therapy next time I'm in Reykjavík, a month ago.

I just got off the phone with the endocrinologist.
He told me that the psychologist had sent him a letter saying "not ready to begin hormone therapy".

Not.

This means it's not as simple as mere rescheduling.

It means, I've been lied to, misled, ->-bleeped-<-ed with, toyed with, brought up with promises, given hope, and then stripped back down to nothing.

I don't want to do this any more.
I don't want to be toyed with.

Just being miserable all the time is easier than this.

so much easier...

All the money I've dumped into this.
All the time and energy.

And for what?

To be told "yes" and then "no"?
To go see a speech therapist that tells me that I still sound like a girl?

Nothing's changed.
Nothing's been gained so far.
There's.. Nothing!

I've payed a lot of money, for nothing.

Well, no, not nothing... I've payed it and as a result... been crushed.

If I'd saved my money I would have been able to afford something else, something better than this.

I could have saved up for top surgery, and be half way to the mark.
We could have popped over to Canada for a visit.
We could be debt free.

This thing's done me no good so far.. none!

[Miniar]

No, I am not on T yet, that would be what I'm trying to get through this process.

[Miniar]

Been a wild ride.

Yes, I admit, I "may" have become a little overly riled up as I'm not going home until tomorrow and so there was still "time" for things to be straightened out, but it was just..
too much..
far too much..
to come here expecting to hit the ground running, and then.. not finding any ground...
Metaphorically speaking..

And so I crashed a bit.

Stuff's turned around though.

It's still not sunk in yet.

Psychologist didn't charge me for yesterday's session, which at 5000 isk a session (40$) is a rather substantial gesture.
He seemed genuinely sorry for how things weren't coming together right.
Didn't give me the information he "meant", and then didn't give the doc the information he "meant" to him either, so things just.. fell apart.

See, this is why I try to say what I mean as I mean it and why I take things literally. None of this nonsense happens then!

Either way, he promised me that he'd call the doc this morning.

At three o'clock in the afternoon I was all "well, that's that then"... didn't get my hopes up for anything but just acknowledged that I wasn't gonna meet this doc this trip and was "set back" several weeks (up to 3 months).

then, at 3:35, the doc calls.
He's telling me he's gonna leave an order for bloodtest at the hospital to check my levels and then we can sort out my hormones when I'm back, "you'll be back again before xmas?"... "er.. no.. don't think I can make another trip this year"... "well, where are you?".. "over at Hlemmur"... "can you come over here, meet me now, at four" (WTF? 20 minutes? if that?.. )  "yeah.. I'm on foot though so".. "oh it's just a ten minute walk".. "..... ok"..

o.O?!.. I practically run it, cause I'm a touch slow, cause of the fibro.
Get there, sit, chat, go over the script, the options available in Iceland..

And he suggests to give me an injection, an implant, to shut down 'ye old hormone factories. (WOOT!)
I'll get this "just before" my next period, so I gotta deal with the monthly red death one more time (AND THEN NEVER AGAIN!!!) Mind you, this is actually a cancer medication that they use to shut down hormone production in hormone related cancers in women.. o.O so.. I don't know.. I just heard "shuts down ovaries" and I was all "YES! LET'S DO THAT!"
Gives me a script for that, can pick it up at the pharmacy at home and have it implanted over in the health care center next door.

Also gives me a script for T gel.
Refillable.
Can pick that up the same time.
But don't get to start applying it 'till "after" next red death passes.

But the next one is the last one..
and I have the script for the gel...
and ..

and...

It still hasn't sunk in..
I'm just curled up with all the tired from all this.

Last thing to do in town is get blood drawn tomorrow morning (before I eat anything) and then..
That's it for this trip.


Been a wild ride.

[Laura91]

That is great news, Min!!

[Dana Lane]

WOO HOO! Congratulations!!!!!!

[Ender]

Well, that is a wild ride.  It'll sink in, eventually.  Didn't sink in for me until a few weeks *after* starting T.  I went to my first endo appointment thinking I was just going to get orders for bloodwork and a physical.  My therapist hadn't even written a letter OK'ing the T yet.  She just said 'we'll see about that after you go to the doctor.'  The doc found out that I live 7 hours away (wouldn't be able to make the trip again for at least another 4 months) and wrote me the script on the spot--she just stipulated that I couldn't start injecting until I had had my bloodwork done.  By that time, she had gotten in touch with the therapist, who confirmed that it was OK.  A little bass ackwards, but it worked.

It's probably a good thing that your doctor is prescribing something to shut down the ovaries if you're going on gel.  I'm only going on anecdotal evidence here, but it seems that for guys with still-functional ovaries, the gel doesn't do as good a job of shutting them down (compared to injections).

And can't end without saying this: grats!

[Miniar]

Thanks guys..

I'm just tired now.. gonna turn in early and then sleep... Tons..

[FairyGirl]

congratulations hon I'm glad it got sorted out.. but I'm still stuck on that voice thing- I could understand telling you your voice wasn't ready if you were a chick but for a dude?! Isn't that part of what the T is for? Anyways glad it all worked out.