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Why would anyone want to be a woman when they could be a man?

Started by Nero, December 06, 2009, 02:10:54 PM

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rejennyrated

Quote from: Aaron Chris on December 19, 2009, 08:14:06 PM
I wasn't going to say anything, but thanks.

Thank you. Though I look a lot more feminine in person unfortunately.
Aaron - obviously not having seen you in person I can'y comment on that, but to me you honestly look like a fairly typical teenage boy!

My adopted son had something of the same look when he was about 15 or 16. He's now a strapping young man of 24 and not in the slightest bit feminine - so don't listen to anyone who questions you. You are who you say you are!
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Naturally Blonde

I'm sorry for the previous comments Arron and all to other forum members. It can be confusing sometimes with female to male TS's and it wasn't meant to come across the wrong way.
Living in the real world, not a fantasy
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Lachlann

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on December 20, 2009, 10:16:57 AM
I'm sorry for the previous comments Arron and all to other forum members. It can be confusing sometimes with female to male TS's and it wasn't meant to come across the wrong way.

Generally speaking, it's safer to just go by the gender marker.
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own
Love will open every door it's in your hands, the world is yours
Don't hold back and always know, all the answers will unfold
What are you waiting for, spread your wings and soar
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Naturally Blonde

Quote from: K8 on December 19, 2009, 03:01:29 PM
Naturally Blonde, 
For some of us our looks are a curse.  Some of us look very masculine but know in our hearts that we are women.  Some of us look very feminine but in our hearts know we are men.  (And I don't think Aaron looks all that feminine, but perhaps you see things I don't.  To me he just looks young, but then I'm more than three times his age.)  In the same light, some of us take hormones for years but our bodies don't seem to change that much despite the fact that our brains are hard-wired as the opposite gender.

I always knew I would never pass as a woman because I was too masculine-looking.  But for many of us there comes a point where we no longer care whether we can pass or not – we must live in the gender we are.

I know that men are far superior to women ::), but I am a woman regardless.  I really didn't get a choice in the matter.

Excuse me, I have to go clean the house and get the meal ready before the big, strong men come home. :)

- Kate

Hi Kate, thanks for an excellent and honest post. You are mature enough not have any hang ups or pre-conceptions about the limitations of transitioning.

Sometimes it's like treading on egg shells in gender forums where every word is muted and every thought or perception has to be carefully presented or changed in order for it to be acceptable.

Post Merge: December 20, 2009, 10:40:29 AM

Quote from: Lachlann on December 20, 2009, 10:25:49 AM
Generally speaking, it's safer to just go by the gender marker.

Yes, agreed! and I will definitely take that on board.
Living in the real world, not a fantasy
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MaggieB

I'm late to this thread but for me it's not a matter of wanting to be a woman. My wife often refers to my transition in these terms and I get riled when she does it. The matter is because I never was a man and basically couldn't hack it.

I believed most of my life that being a man was better, certainly as I watched women having so many problems with other men. I did what I could to change attitudes amongst men I worked with or was "friends" with but it did little to change anything.

Many times, I am reminded of my second class status and the restrictions I face as a woman. I am also dealing with the sad truth that I have occasionally to defend my true gender to other women. I admit that when I get buried in these thoughts, I do look back before I transitioned and remember that it was not all bad.

I never went to the place where I considered detransitioning but the daily barrage of the media and organized religion calling us evil or freaks or perverts also places a huge burden on my psyche. I don't agree with them. However, when I lived as a man, I was not a target of their hatred. Now, I am and that frankly scares me.

I am a woman and I can't live as a man even if it kills me. Wanting doesn't even enter into it.

Maggie

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insanitylives

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on December 20, 2009, 10:35:15 AM
Yes, agreed! and I will definitely take that on board.
It's...really hard to miss...Right there. Next to the avatar...The blue/pink (depending on gender picked) thing...
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Elijah3291

Quote from: Olly on December 20, 2009, 01:49:51 PM
I guess I always figured that every bio female hated being female and would rather be a guy. I still find it weird to see girly girls who actually enjoy being female, I figured they were always putting on an act to cover up how much they hated being cheated out of a real life as a male.

I feel the same way
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V M

Being a man sucks  :icon_blah:  Being a girly girl woman rocks  :icon_chick:
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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K8

I can certainly understand where you guys are coming from, but it reminds me of when I came out to a GG friend.  She just looked at me and said: "I love being a woman.  I can see why you'd want to be one." :)

I never corrected her "want" concept, but now we are really good girlfriends, much closer than when she thought I was a man(:icon_blah:).

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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Teknoir

Yes, that "want" concept is sure annoying.

I also do nothing to correct it at the moment - those people saying "want" are trying to get their head around it as best they can. Acceptance is acceptance - I figure there's no point in dwelling on a slight misunderstanding after a certain point (a few attempted explanations).
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Naturally Blonde

Quote from: Olly on December 20, 2009, 01:49:51 PM
I guess I always figured that every bio female hated being female and would rather be a guy. I still find it weird to see girly girls who actually enjoy being female, I figured they were always putting on an act to cover up how much they hated being cheated out of a real life as a male.

Most biological girls I know absolutely love being a girl and wouldn't dream of wanting to be a guy.
Living in the real world, not a fantasy
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Ryuu

Quote from: Olly on December 20, 2009, 01:49:51 PM
I still find it weird to see girly girls who actually enjoy being female, I figured they were always putting on an act to cover up how much they hated being cheated out of a real life as a male.
Oh god, same. I always look at them and think "can she really enjoy acting/dressing like that?" I guess to each hir own.
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LordKAT

Quote from: Aaron Chris on December 21, 2009, 12:23:14 PM
Oh god, same. I always look at them and think "can she really enjoy acting/dressing like that?" I guess to each hir own.

for me it wasn't the acting dressing part, I could never understand the wanting to BE part. I stil don't. I just cannot get how or why anyone would ever choose to be female if they had a choice. The concept just loses me.
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rejennyrated

Quote from: LordKAT on December 21, 2009, 12:44:33 PM
for me it wasn't the acting dressing part, I could never understand the wanting to BE part. I stil don't. I just cannot get how or why anyone would ever choose to be female if they had a choice. The concept just loses me.
Two links which I posted in another thread go someway to explaining how our thoughts can be so similar but opposite. I feel exactly the same about anyone choosing to BE male. I can understand wanting the lifestyle perks... but the being... like you that's what does my head in.

According to some research only published last year in turns out that for some of us at least, to some extent how we feel is probably partly down to genetics.

If you are FtM this one:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/2471724/Gene-variant-may-make-people-transsexual.html
And for MtF this one:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/3265125/Gene-could-hold-key-to-why-transsexual-men-feel-female.html
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Ryuu

Quote from: LordKAT on December 21, 2009, 12:44:33 PM
for me it wasn't the acting dressing part, I could never understand the wanting to BE part. I stil don't. I just cannot get how or why anyone would ever choose to be female if they had a choice. The concept just loses me.

Yeah, but it's the whole thing. It just seems weird. Though I am glad that some people are women. :P
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K8

And I'm glad some people are men. :)  But I sure never wanted to be one.  Somehow, it just isn't me. :P

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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Renate

Grumble, grumble... :(

QuoteGene-could-hold-key-to-why-transsexual-men-feel-female.html

This article is about why transsexual women feel female.

Transsexual men feel male.

Grumble, grumble... :(
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Flan

Quote from: Renate on December 21, 2009, 09:45:05 PM
Grumble, grumble... :(

This article is about why transsexual women feel female.

Transsexual men feel male.

Grumble, grumble... :(

that would be one for failblog if the comments there weren't fail themselves...
Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.
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placeholdername

Let's do this pro/con style (and this is just my opinion, so no offense to those of you who like the male bits):

Men -
Pro:
* Usually get paid more for the same amount of work.
* Can carry heavier things (usually)
* Don't have to suffer periods
* Uh, am I missing anything?

Con:
* Genitals are ugly.  Sorry, it's true.
* Orgasms are shorter and less fulfilling (scientifically guestimated)
* More and worse acne
* Can't get pregnant
* Usually lose custody rights if they get divorced
* Usually have to pay money to ex-wife even without custody rights
* Subject to draft/conscription in many countries, many countries mandatory service for 2+ years
* Often expected to provide all or most of the income for the entire family
* More likely to be violent
* Expected not to admit to or talk about vulnerable emotions
* Hurts a zillion times more if you get kicked in the gonads.
* I'm sure there's some I've forgotten.

Women -
Pro:
* More clothing options
* Less clothing expectations
* Can admit vulnerablity and talk about emotions without being ridiculed
* Can get pregnant
* Usually get custody rights
* Less acne
* Usually not subject to draft or mandatory service (only exception I can think of is Israel)
* Less violent
* Not always expected to provide most/all income for family
* (In my opinion) more attractive physical features
* Better/more orgasms

Con:
* Periods
* More likely to be subject to violence from men (I blame men for this)
* In some countries, expected to put family over personal ambition (but this is personal choice)
* More pressure to conform to some ideal of beauty
* Usually get paid less for same work

I'm sure people in the man-camp have more pros on the men side and more cons on the women side, but from my perspective it's pretty slanted towards woman-are-better :P.
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Elijah3291

Quote from: Ketsy on December 22, 2009, 04:03:26 PM

Con:
* Genitals are ugly.  Sorry, it's true.
* Orgasms are shorter and less fulfilling (scientifically guestimated)
* Can't get pregnant


Sorry, but I actually think that girl's genitals are really gross
I would rather have a strong short orgasm then a hard to achieve one
I consider not getting pregnant to be a pro!
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