Refreshingly Anonymous

[Silver]

Lately, I've cut my hair into a short (hopefully) masculine haircut and have taken to wearing men's clothes (or plain women's clothes) and sometimes people even read me as male.

Well, to the point. Back when I had longer hair, and dressed in more female clothes I used to walk down the street and have the odd guy checking me out or honking or somesuch nonsense. And now, none of that. People ignore me, they glance at my face and glance away. Women don't check me out either (I suppose they like to assess their competition, or they might be a little gay. I don't know.)

It's really refreshing, I always felt odd being checked out. No longer feel like I have to be on display or please anyone with the way I look. It's great. If I'm assumed to be female, I look to "butchy" to be pushed around as they push around the women in my area. They look for girls with a really low self-esteem.

Don't have to do much to my hair, can wear pretty much the same clothes every day. I can just behave naturally without feeling watched. If I want their attention, I'll do something to get it. It isn't just forced on me against my will.

So anyone else this relieved by it or am I the only one?

[CodyJess]

The best thing ever, it was for me.

As soon as I started binding and cut my hair off, people stopped staring. Not that they necessarily were before, but my self-consciousness disappeared. Just like you said, I don't feel like I'm 'on display' anymore. I can become 'just another face in the crowd', and only draw someone's attention if I'm trying to.

Biggest difference I've felt since presenting as male:
It feels like people judge me more on my actions than on my appearance.

[Evan]

Biggest difference I've felt since presenting as male:
It feels like people judge me more on my actions than on my appearance.

It's discriminatory, but as a society we objectify women, they are usually described by their looks, men by wether he's a good guy or not. @silverfang "I can just behave naturally without feeling watched." This feeling is still awesome to me. After years of battling severe anxiety issues, I found that by passing I can finally feel comfortable in my own skin and thus finally start to feel comfortable in public. Sometimes I wonder if anyone was ever really staring at me, or if I was just projecting my feelings about myself?

[DamagedChris]

I still have mixed emotions truth be told...while I didn't like to be oogled by whoever, and I damn well hated feeling like I was meat on a platter...I do miss the occasional check-out, but mostly because I notice the people I want checking me out aren't. I miss the knowledge that I am attractive to others, as I'm sure a lot of people do like hearing they are good-looking.

This is especially true now that I'm starting to notice T changing things about me...I'll walk in front of a mirror on a rare occasion and stop and think, y'know, I'm an attractive dude--and I actually like who I see in the mirror, and wonder if others notice that too. I can't wait to hear some girl giggle about me.


...WOW I sound vain.

[Silver]

I still have mixed emotions truth be told...while I didn't like to be oogled by whoever, and I damn well hated feeling like I was meat on a platter...I do miss the occasional check-out, but mostly because I notice the people I want checking me out aren't. I miss the knowledge that I am attractive to others, as I'm sure a lot of people do like hearing they are good-looking.

This is especially true now that I'm starting to notice T changing things about me...I'll walk in front of a mirror on a rare occasion and stop and think, y'know, I'm an attractive dude--and I actually like who I see in the mirror, and wonder if others notice that too. I can't wait to hear some girl giggle about me.


...WOW I sound vain.

Well unfortunately for you, if the stereotypes hold any water, you're going to be judged on personality more now anyway 

Sometimes I wonder if anyone was ever really staring at me, or if I was just projecting my feelings about myself?

I wondered the same, but I see them looking and therefore they are.

[Lachlann]

Well, I've always worn boys clothes and there was the very very rare time I would wear something feminine but it didn't feel right, so for the most part I'm not quite sure what it's like to have a change like that.

I pass, but not always. I do feel I tend to go unnoticed, though, but not in a male way, more of an ignored way. It's made me a little more aggressive in getting my points across and makes me look like a jerk. I wonder what's going to happen when I get on T and start sounding like a guy and looking even more like one. Maybe it's just not enough confidence. From my angle, being overlooked is annoying, and I can't tell if girls are checking me out or if they just think I'm weird. *shrug* Not sure if anyone else has this problem. At any rate, sounds more like a case of attracting unwanted attention via being hit on or checked out. Never really had someone do that to me before.

I guess if someone was hitting on you and checking you out it'd probably be very annoying if you were ftm and looked feminine. I know it'd piss me off if that were the case.

[DamagedChris]

Don't get me wrong, I like the fact that I can actually be judged on what I do vs how I look...but getting checked out by girls would be some nice validation to "yes, i'm passing"

[Jeatyn]

a huge hell yes from me

I always felt like my clothes, hair and makeup had to be perfect before I went out. It drove me utterly insane. I couldn't be bothered putting makeup on before I went to college once and I had a bunch of people asking me if I was ok because I looked ill. Nope not ill, just my natural looking face, cheers guys

I like being able to stand at a bus stop or go to a club without random guys hitting on me. Even if I don't pass, I am assumed to be a lesbian, so they still don't tend to bother (a few do, they like the challenge or something I suppose)

The thing that annoyed me the most was random women talking to me to complain about men, anything that was going wrong in their day, was because of men, apparently. "the bus is late, bloody men can't do anything right" - super awkward moments for me

[sneakersjay]

This was very apparent to me yesterday.

I was in one of those situations I hate: crowds, lines, chaos, far too many kids running around, noise.  I couldn't leave.  I made the best of it for 2 hours (how I have no idea!) before I ran screaming from the building LOL.

Before transition, in addition to hating the situation, I would have been comparing myself to the other women, feeling fat, frumpy, ugly, anxious, not fitting in, and feeling hugely uncomfortable in ADDITION to the pounding I feel in crowds.

Yesterday I was hugely comfortable with myself, that it was just the noise and chaos bothering me.  And I found myself ogling a few chests (discretely of course).

Absolutely love just being ME and being comfortable in my own skin.

Jay

[gqueering]

wow! Thanks for starting this thread SilverFang...
I'm androgyne and since puberty I've had unwanted attention due to my feminine body. I've shaved my hair off and try to look as dykey as possible and I still get hit on by men (worst line: "you remind me of a buddhist nun I once knew" ->-bleeped-<-...) and women I'd want to be friends with, not lovers. I often fantasize about what it would be like to not be noticed walking down the street...to not be self-conscious of my breasts and hips sticking out for all to see. What you've described is my fantasy and I'm so freakin jealous! 

[Mr. Fox]

Women don't check me out either (I suppose they like to assess their competition, or they might be a little gay. I don't know.)

Ah, the old "She's not interested; she's probably a lesbian."