starting work transition a little faster than I had planned

[sylvie]

I had a scary event happen on Thursday, and I'm not sure what'll happen.  I have been very slowly transitioning at work.  Usually one person at a time when I think I can trust that they will handle the news well.  Unfortunately it seems that I misjudged one coworker (who I think is Bi but that's his business).

A friend of mine on the work floor actually has 2 friends that are transitioning at the same time, and we are on completely different paths.  She's more outspoken and flamboyant in your face whereas I am letting things progress as they happen with no hurry.  But that's off the topic.  Anyway, my friend/coworker has been educating our fellow coworkers about what it's like when someone is know is trans.  In his way, he's trying to help for when I go full time at work.  So he was having a conversation on thusday, when one of the other guys mentioned that he would be surprised to know that there was a tg person working on the floor.  My friend turned to him and said "actually no, I've known for a few months and WHO TOLD YOU".  When I left work, the rumor was spreading across the hangar floor about a trans person working here.

When I arrived to work on Friday, I had the "stares".  A few of the people who have known came up and told me that my name had been linked to the rumors.  Nobody has given me any grief (yet), but as I said I'm getting the stares (the ones where they are trying to figure out if it's true, and wondering if they can ask).

I had told my HR rep that I was transgendered and starting transition when I went through my breakdown in August.  I told her that I was taking it slow and didn't want to cause a scene.  She told me that the company will support me in any way they can when I am ready to let it be known what I'm doing, but please keep her informed.  Well I called her after work on Thursday and told her what I had found out up to that time.  She asked if she could tell the site supervisor so he could be prepared to deal with the situation.  I told her that yes I think it would be a good idea to let him know now.  On Friday she said that she had told him, and that any harassment will not be tolerated.   My job is secure.  I told her that I was sorry, and this is not how I wanted it to come out.  And I was told it's not a problem.

I knew I was going to have to come out soon (some things are getting to be a little noticeable) but this wasn't the way I wanted it to happen.  Oh well, things change, now it's time to amend the plan and just get on with life.  (maybe this is life's way of telling me to get on with things.)

[sylvie]

I read your post after leaving mine.  Very similar indeed.  What worries me is that I work in a Coast Guard hangar with a LOT of ex navy types in NC.  And while I'm not the first to do this, there are a lot of (forgive me) rednecks and homophobic bible thumpers.  Unfortunately I was never good at working at a desk, but great dealing with electrical and electronic systems

[heatherrose]

In the early nineties I dabbled with the idea of transitioning away from work.
I was working in a supervisory position and had been told that my efforts and
accomplishments had been noticed and I was on the management fast track. To
make a long story short, in my off hours unbeknown to me, one of my co-workers
discovered my other self. During the next few days I found the people that I
had once had a friendly working relationship with, now were cold and distant.
Outside of job related matters, I found myself involved in conversations that pried
into my personal life and sexuality, I never admitted anything. At the end of the
week I was called into my boss's office and was informed that my job performance
was not up to standards and my services were no longer required. I am glad to
hear that strides seem to have been made and I wish you both the best of luck.

[sylvie]

Well a week has gone by and aside from a lot of people trying to figure out if it's true, very little has changed.  It's funny to turn around and find them with their heads tilted to the side with a look of deep thought on their face.  All I do is smile and go back to what I was doing.  The only thing that has happened is that my timesheet was scrutinized heavily and I was reprimanded for something that I had done.  The assistant site super was pushing it for 3 days.  It's suspicious based on the timeframe (management was notified Friday morning, and he complained friday afternoon) and that he is a major bigot (in many many ways).  I took the punishment as I did mess up, but now I'm keeping my eyes open in case he finds other things to complain about.  Those coworkers that I have talked to have indeed changed their tunes now that they had been confronted with it, and now they are supportive.  I have some great friends who have been telling me for months that if anyone has a problem it's theirs and not mine.  I have taken that to heart and am continuing as if nothing has changed.