What group do you find it harder to pass around

[austin86]

ive been passing a lot more than i thought i would especially being pre T. a couple weeks ago i got several "he, his and sirs" by ppl and it made my week. the ppl i usually pass with are middle aged ppl and almost always old ppl. i think older ppl are not used to "girls" having short hair and usually assume you're a guy especially when they have poor vision. being half black i find it harder to pass amongst black ppl too, i get she from them more than other races. but the hardest group i find it to pass with is homosexuals. last week i got the acknowledging head cock by a lesbian and her girlfriend while shopping with my girl and also me and my girl got approached by a gay guy who said that we were his heroes for holding hands in public and he loved how free we were. i didnt want to be offended cuz he did not mean to offend me, he had good intentions, i was just like, "well another failure to pass" sigh. so just wondering if any of you guys notice that you pass better around certain groups better than others?

[gqueering]

I'm not FTM, I'm the queer that can spot you easily 
Actually, this just happened the other day... I walked into a fast food joint and an ftm walked in with his date/girlfriend and I spotted him immediately. I didn't say anything but he saw that I spotted him and I felt bad because I thought he might have the same reaction you did. I didn't do or say anything, I wasn't trying to 'out' him or draw attention to him... it was just an instinctual reaction to look and think "trans".

Actually, this brings up an interesting point. I think the reason queers (I use that in it's broadest sense) can spot trans people is because we know they exist. So, if the mainstream hetero world became more aware of transgender issues and ->-bleeped-<-, would that make it harder for transexuals to 'pass'? I think the reason str8 people don't notice trans people as much is because they forget that they exist, but if trans 'visibility' were to increase in the general public what would that mean for people trying to pass do you think?

[Silver]

I pass well with 30+ women.

Actually, the group I have the hardest time passing with is the group that already knows me as female. A lot of people just don't seem to pin a gender on me though.

[austin86]

you've got a very good point chris. i do think it would be substantially harder to pass if more straight ppl were aware of trans ppl. on one hand i would like straight ppl to be better informed but in the other hand i do like passing with them hehe.

[jmaxley]

The group I find it easiest to pass with are kids.  One day a few years ago before I realized I was trans I was in a store (I had long hair then and was carrying a purse that day) and some little boy said "excuse me, sir".  His mother said, "m'am!  m'am!", trying to correct him, but I smiled and told her it was okay.  It made my day though.

A few months back, my niece called me Mister M, to which my mom replied, "no, that's Aunt M."

[Konnor]

I definitely agree, it's the hardest (atleast for me) to pass around gays/lesbians/etc. and people who have had experience with transgender people. I'm with you on the straight people...I want to keep passing, but I know transgender people need more exposure. Neat point of view Chris!

--Konnor

[Carson]

I find it easiest to pass with middle aged to older people(women especially) and hardest around people my own age and LGB people.

[mL]

usually adults, but many times people my age. Stores who hire younger people such as Express and Abercrombie & Fitch call me a guy

[Teknoir]

I can't pass with middle aged women. Something about them.... I just set their "weirdo" radar off, and they usually look at me as though I'm an alien species.

I seem to pass best with men. Just men in general, really.

I'd like to think that's just me passing really well, but it's probably just men around here not paying close attention to anything without tits or wheels

When I get clocked, it's more "first impressions" clocking rather than after I've been talking a while.

[DamagedChris]

I have more issue of "where" than "who".

There's really no set pattern to who does or doesn't clock me, and not enough people use gender-specific pronouns to me that I can always pick up when I have been spotted.

Some places, however, I just can't pass in. Bars, pool halls, the corner liquor/convenience store, the DMV(or SoS for us Michigan folk) for example. Anywhere where a 15-16-yr old wouldn't be, I won't pass in.

If I HAD to pick....women pick me out more than men, easily. Usually late 20s-40s women...the younger ones usually aren't paying as much attention to me or see me as a teenager, and bless the old folks for not having a clue about transsexuals.

[Ender]

Queer people, in general, are hard for me to pass with.

As far as 'regular' people, I have the easiest time with the more elderly, conservative set.  It's easy with them: short hair + mens clothes = automatic male.  Teenagers, however, can be rough...

[Radar]

I think the reason queers (I use that in it's broadest sense) can spot trans people is because we know they exist.

Wow, that makes sense. I pass the worst with gay men and older women. I pass with men the most.

[notyouraverageguy]

Its weird, I usually "pass" with ppl that didn't already know me. I haven't noticed a certain group or anything though.

[fdfge]

 and bless the old folks for not having a clue about transsexuals.
[/quote]

word, i worked a summer job and one thing i had to do was help people with their bags. i was helping a older women and she asked me if i was a relative of the owner i replied "yes im his grandaughter" (not out yet) she looked at me funny and then told her husband to tip the nice "young man"
made my day, and thats happened more than once with the older folks

[Inphyy]

I'm not trying to be mean to any of the above posters who used the word straight people to refer to "normal" people...But you can be trans and STILL be straight!

Also moving on for me, I easily pass with elderly people, men (18 and up) and little kids.

For me...For some strange odd reason, I pass the least with teenage girls...I do pass with teenage girls about 80% of the time but there is that 20% that no other group has!

I pass fairly well with teenage males and I've only been triggered three times. But get little boys or men 18 and up...And I pass all the time. 

[DamagedChris]

For me...For some strange odd reason, I pass the least with teenage girls...I do pass with teenage girls about 80% of the time but there is that 20% that no other group has!

I pass fairly well with teenage males and I've only been triggered three times. But get little boys or men 18 and up...And I pass all the time. 

I actually notice this too....if I had to pick a group that is most likely to feel me out, teenage guys from 14-18. I'm usually clocked at that age, so the real teenagers just...know. Of course, it could be that envious gaze in my eye...I'm really sad that I missed the whole teenage experience in the correct sex.

[Inphyy]

I actually notice this too....if I had to pick a group that is most likely to feel me out, teenage guys from 14-18. I'm usually clocked at that age, so the real teenagers just...know. Of course, it could be that envious gaze in my eye...I'm really sad that I missed the whole teenage experience in the correct sex.

Well my guess is that teenagers are trying to discover their true sexuality and are very observant of other people...So if they look at you, they're going to try and find things that are similar and different that you have that they don't.

One of the three teenage guys that trigger caught me said that, "You're wearing red heels today, an black skirt, jewelery and an black sequin top...You also have very beautiful, long hair...But god dammit...You're always touching your chin just like a guy! That's how I figured."

So it's weird that even small differences you'd never expect play a key spotlight on being busted or not.

But since then...I rarely ever rub my chin anymore! I guess you better get off to work! 

[Dennis]

Just being devil's advocate here, but why is it important that straight people know of us? For most of us, transition is a phase, relatively quickly passed, and if it makes me more recognizable after, I don't really want that information out there. I'm not sure it would have made life easier when I was transitioning, so what benefit is it to us that they know we exist?

Dennis

[DamagedChris]

Just being devil's advocate here, but why is it important that straight people know of us? For most of us, transition is a phase, relatively quickly passed, and if it makes me more recognizable after, I don't really want that information out there. I'm not sure it would have made life easier when I was transitioning, so what benefit is it to us that they know we exist?

Dennis

It's a double-edged sword.

One the one hand, the gay community got a lot of their rights they currently have by being seen openly as a normal, active part of the community, vs a strange, unholy perversion. It helps some people come to terms with what they don't understand if they can put faces and actual people to it. This in turn helps get us things we need, like protection vs discrimination in the workplace, better medical coverage, easier times changing gender markers, etc...as well as the overall relief in our lives that a picture from when you were 16 isn't going to destroy everything you hold dear.

On the other hand, being labeled as "trans" --or anything, for that matter--by the general public is hard to remove once you're past the transition stage. So the more we bring ourselves to the front as a separate group, the more people will see us as "transpeople" vs "men and women". It also means we have to be careful what images people DO see of transpeople, or else we get people immedeately thinking "fetish porn" or "jerry springer" whenever they see someone trans...because no matter how good something is presented, people are more likely to remember the flashy, lewd, outlandish scenes (example: who are you going to remember more, a clean-cut, happy person walking down the street, or a naked person poledancing on the same street with a lightpost?). So in a way, the anonymity of the trans community right now helps aid us in living normal lives if we do not wish to partake in the LBGTQI<space reserved for more letters> community or do not wish other people to know our medical history.

This is why right now I'm grateful for what little coverage we DO have, and while I would like to see things like Medicare/Medicaid/private insurances cover it, I don't want to be any more public with my transition than what is on these forums.

[jmaxley]

Crap.  I didn't know Medicare/caid wouldn't cover it.  Will Medicare not cover T either?