My pleasure, not as much work as it may have sounded. But i guess if i tell what happened in my own experience then maybe it will help.
I never called a cirisis intervention line before (I went and visited with a pastor and preists, which the results were not good!).
When i had my suicide attempt it was close to home near people really graphic (shooting) and people responded by calling 911. The paramedics and all that did their nasty work and a few days after coming off life suport in a trauma hospital after seeing my family first (which of course they knew but DAH they still said why did you do this? Hello
)
Anyway my second visitor was a pysch student. I think she may have been briefed by my family. She said hello know what her second question / statement was? She said i noticed that you shaved your legs why do you do that? (that was her icebreaker to a gender discussion? A second year psych student) I under a lot of morphine was still sane enough to tell her to get the hell out of my room (charge on my invoice to my healthcare provider 7,000.00 for psych consult / therapy-what a joke). You would have to picture my health at the time, I had about 234 staples in my body, another 113 stitches, my left arm was numb and locked into place i was in pian from head to toe even with morphine, was getting huge injections right into my stomach, coughed up blood, etc. My left lung was 100% bruised right 33% bruised from the impact / shots, one went into my lung, i had a catheter, chest tubes - partial resporator), etc anyway i was not in superb health was in and out the first few days after that. I had a person that stayed in my room to "watch" over me so i did not try and jump out the window or something? Funny i could not even get out of bed?
A social worker came to visit me and stated that we had to deal with my attempt although not illegal in this state it was still a mental questionable act and she said the law could mandate or 302 me, they call it against my will to a mental health institution, or i could voluntarily go for teatment. Difference here? If i let them mandate or injunct me it is on a police type record that you were injuncted against your will into a mental health facility (one impact that has is that's a questionare on a flyer you fill out to purchase a gun in this state, "were you ever adjucated against your will into a mental health institution"-this would flag a legal gun sale even if you had not ever commited a crime), secondly - the plus they could only technically of held me for 72 hours.
Going voluntarily meant they (the facility i would go to) would decide after treatment when it was acceptable to let me out and i could at least chose the facility. the best one of reputation was in our next town over near a medium sized hospital. I chose the voluntary one. at the time i thought that was the best answer, i was so busted up i literally spent the first 5 days there healing anyway downside was i was only allowed asparin for pain like 2-every 6 hours what a joke!.. so i was in a ton of pain and discomfort which i let them know of hourly! I also was allowed or escorted to outpatient treatment and therapy and a surgeon came in for regular visits, oh dear friends do not be misled i was not a non-medical charity case when transferring out of the big triage hospital to the mental health facility-all my benefit / healthcare insurance information was needed, of course to bill them. (i had a premium hmo benefit plan that covered 100% of my medical all $122,000.00 of it in bills) This turned out to be how i got out when i felt like it almost!
so anyway i was transferred in late day basically was interviewed quickly about the facility put in a room for the night. I was literally on the thrid wing or floor where the worst crazy cases were, i quickly got transferred to a quieter less civil wing when a fight started and i was knocked over and stitches were pulled out of me due to falling into and down by a pay phone. anyway in interview they asked about me taking stuff, meds.. i decided no medication it was my choice i did not want mind altering drugs at all, they respected that. (i think against my will treatment i may of been forced to take something? i dunno?) Anyway the days were very structured, very quick sessions with the onsite doctor / psychologists, 20 minutes, group sessions, and one on one counselling sessions with mental health therapists. The doctor, first he was grilling me about the attempt and hurting myself blah blah then i said do you know what gender dysphoria is? He said vaguely? I said define it he stated to me this was not an area of his specialty he was more concerned with saving my life and trying to make me understand that hurting myself is not good? I said you are treating a symptom of a problem and you are not willing to look at the problem or help with a cure!
We did this for like 9 days (weekends he did not have consults or visits.) into the second week same stuff everyday! back and forth cat and mouse game where he did his routine and i pleaded for help for my PROBLEM that i knew i had...Third week i was feeling better at least walking some and all that. (i did not have full use of my left arm until 11 months after my shooting so that's how long some of my healing took) In the third week same stuff okay Rich you know trying to hurt yourself is not good (they would not say kill yourself) i always correcetd that by saying you mean trying to kill myself is not healthy physicall yor mentally? blah blah....Believe me i sound like i was being a jerk i was trying to cooperate i really was, but it got old fast they were not interested in hearing of my gender issues or what made me madder was when i dropped names of psychiatrists in the area and counselors and they would not bring them onsite for me! End of third week, that weekend i decided it was my time to leave! The beginning of that week Monday i believe we had our session same stuff and i said to the doctor if you do not have a trained therapist or doctor here in gender tomorrow i will be rquesting to leave, he said smartly
i determine that not you? I said well after i call my insurance carrier and tell them to stop covering the charges and that I'm not being treated here we'll see! Teusday no therpaist i made a call to the insurance carrier customer service man was i treated well they were very interested in this got a manager on the hone gave them the details, Wednesday next day the doctor told me i was being discharged on Friday!
Amazng huh? On my discharge day they gave me the name and number and address of a gender therapist i could see on my own? I was there for three weeks or three and 1/3 i forget but not once did we discuss gender really or did they get someone specialized in to help me! I begged them, i gave them names and stuff of people in the area!
So #1 they treated only the suicide attempt the actual act and tried this brainwashing method of telling me how bad it was and hurting yourself is not good? Holy cripes i was not a masachist or anything? there was never an itnention to disfigure or hurt my body? DAH!!!! Shows you how near sighted they are?
#2 even after giving names and doctors and info (i knew a lot more than them or a lot more than they were willing to admit they knew of witg gender?) they would not outsource the help that i asked for
#3 it was money and benefits that ended my stay not the fact that they think they made progress or cured me of "wanting to hurt myself"
#4 i was sick and mad at them when i left giving me a discharge with a therapists name and all that where was he in the time i was in there? Hmm
Makes you wonder huh?
the therapists turned out to be an awesome therpaists and i stayed with that guy for wuite a while but anyway...
you see how my story went?
That is why i brought it all up, the whole scene is about stopping the act of suicide or the feeling or intervention but i honestly do not feel in cases such as us where we have reasons and explanations and all that, the health community is not concerned with that. They are concerned with stopping the act?
like Melissa sort of said in a joking manner she would have been strapped down somewhere? That could have happened would she of gotten the help she needed no they would of just stopped the action.
anyway i guess its a mute point but i wanted to discuss it some. I will not change the medical communities ways of doing things. Federal government still has not diagnosed the gender problems as diseases or illnesses! sad!
Ricki
