Well, as the subject alludes, I have been having some really great things happening for me lately and tonight I got some really tragic news.
The good that has been happening. During my last therapy session (two weeks ago) my therapist told me that he felt I was ready to start HRT and referred me to a doctor here in Atlanta and was going to write my letter/s to start and was going to give it/them to me tonight. I have an appointment with the doctor for January 12 for my exam and blood work. I'm really excited and bit nervous about this day finally coming. It has been a long time since my last doctors visit (my last physical was over 35 years ago) and I have never had blood drawn, so I really don't know what to expect. But, I am SO ready to get it done and get that script so that I can finally get rid of the poison in my body and replace it with some glorious E (not ecstasy).
I have also finally made the decision to get going towards starting my Masters degree studies and after all of the paperwork, loan applications, straightening out some wrong loan records, I finally got the confirmation that I am IN. I start classes on January 7. I'll be getting a new MacBook Pro and a bunch of software and books and a video camera and other stuff Wednesday or Thursday. I started orientation today.
I'm also in the process of redesigning my website and have it about half way done - need to reformat all of the photos and text (lots of that). It is looking so much better than before, more professional. Maybe it will help get me some real paying work.
There are also a number of other small little things that have been happening that have made me really happy these past couple of weeks.
That brings me to the bad news...
Tonight I drove to my therapists for my appointment and when I got there, he wasn't there. I figured he must have been caught up in some traffic or something. I waited a while in my car, in the freezing (for Atlanta) cold. I decided to call him to see if he forgot my appointment and as I was leaving a message I got another call. She left a message that she was calling on behalf of Dr. Anderson (my therapist) and to call her back. I did and she was on another call and asked if she could call me back in 5 minutes, she had something to tell me about my therapist. Now I'm worried, it is 45 minutes after we were supposed to meet and he isn't there and someone I don't know needs to talk to me about him.
5 minutes passes...
10 minutes passes...
I'm really starting to worry, did something happen to him? Was he in an accident? Is he in the hospital?
15 minutes later... the phone finally rings...
The woman I don't know tells me that she is calling on behalf of Dr. Anderson and said it looked like I had a session scheduled with him this evening. I told her I did and that I have been sitting in his parking lot for the past hour waiting for him. She apologized and told me she had some tragic news. Dr Anderson is in critical condition with an inoperable brain tumor and will likely not last a week. He was found by some friends on December 21st laying on the floor of his apartment. He had, evidently, collapsed on the 16th and couldn't get to the phone and lay there for several days alone, helpless and scared. They rushed him to the hospital and was diagnosed with a brain tumor.
He is now in a hospice care facility and likely won't last a week. I am really upset by this news right now. I would ask that you all keep him your thoughts. There is a blog being kept updating on his status.
http://www.drmaxwellanderson.com/blog/ Feel free to visit and see what is happening. Dr. Anderson is not only a gender therapist, but also a transman and has been a very strong advocate for our community. He will be greatly missed by many.
So, where does that leave me? I know it is a bit selfish at this time, but, I had to know what was going to happen with me and my care, my letter, my treatment? The woman who called me is also a therapist here in Atlanta and would be willing to take me on, or she could recommend another therapist. She asked what I being treated for and I told her gender issues and that I was due to get my HRT letter tonight and that I had an appointment with the doctor on the 12th. She said that she would be able to write the letter. I set up an appointment with her for next Tuesday. She said that she will have all of his records and can review my case before we meet and that I won't have to start from the beginning again. She will honor the six months of care I have gotten and she will also honor his rates (on her website her rates are listed at more than twice what I've been paying).
I'm just wondering how this will proceed, if I stay with her. I'm wondering if having a GF therapist will be a good match for a MtF patient? She told me that she has treated gender related patients, though it is not her expertise. She sounds nice, caring, compassionate and willing to work with me. I guess we'll see.
Now I have to decide what to wear. Do I go en femme, or drab? I'm still look like an ugly guy in drag when I dress en femme, but it is more comfortable. I'm sure she could offer a lot more fashion advice than he could. Possible plus side.
In the meantime, I need to get my brain in gear and focus on the task at hand. I have a few freelance projects that I need to get done and my brain is just going in 27 different directions and I can't seem to hold a thought. I really can't wait to start those hormones.
Well, that is my tale for tonight. Just let me know which way is up... please?
Deanna
