Do you embrace the fact that your trans or do you want to just be seen as male

[JakeDenver]

Right now I dont mind being seen as trans. Around where I live most people know and thats okay by me. Only because closeted trans people around me come to me for info and support. I feel like I am doing something good for my local trans community by being open about who I am.

Now in the future once I graduate and go to law school I hope to be able to just be seen as male. I am not so sure a trans lawyer would go over so well even if I am going to be a civil rights/ equality lawyer.

[Wolf Man]

Well, I would like to just be seen as male when it comes to anyone who doesn't know me. If I make new friends, I'll introduce myself as male. In this situation I would go full on stealth because that's how it should be. If we get really close and something comes up that musses up my "disguise", as they might see it, then I'll let them know.

I do, however, have a whole group of friends who have known me as female for a long time. I have to come out as trans to them so that I can get them to see me as male.

[GnomeKid]

I embrace the queerness of being trans.
I hate to think that someday I will be seen as straight.... as odd as that sounds....

[JakeDenver]

I embrace the queerness of being trans.
I hate to think that someday I will be seen as straight.... as odd as that sounds....

I have to say that I agree with you.

[Alessandro]

I embrace the queerness of being trans.
I hate to think that someday I will be seen as straight.... as odd as that sounds....

Yeah, I get this.  Although I am going from being straight to being gay but...I have always been gay really and happy in the LGBT community.   

[Chamillion]

My opinion on this has changed a lot.  I pushed off transitioning for almost a year because I wanted to keep my queer visibility and didn't ever wanna be seen as an average white, straight male who knows nothing about being discriminated against.  So obviously then at that point if I had transitioned, I would have been out.

In a perfect world, I would like to be out, because transition is something that I went through that made me a stronger person.  All the people in my life who know I'm trans now have more respect for me because of it, and I feel closer to them.  The way the world is though, I don't plan on being out at all.  People, unfortunately, will almost always view you as less than male, even if they don't discriminate against you.  Most people in my life now know I'm trans because I knew them from before.  But I don't come out to new people, and everyone in my classes just thinks I'm a guy.

[Greg]

I've never really considered myself a lesbian even though I'm attracted to women, so transitioning to male doesn't make me feel like I'm losing queer identitiy, because I never identified as such.

I'm stealth whenever possible and look forward to when people consider me male, no questions asked. However, even when I consider myself post-transition I wouldn't turn my back on the trans community.

[Radar]

Even though I'd love to meet and know some transmen IRL I want the rest of the world to see me as just male. We have no support groups here so I don't have to worry about whether to go to one or not.
Post Merge: January 06, 2010, 07:08:07 PM

And I'm fairly sure I can speak for at least some of the guys in here (please correct me if I am wrong!) but we think you chicks are pretty cool too It's nice to hear what it's like with the shoe on the other foot.

Yes, very true. Many nice looking ladies too.

[mL]

I would never want to be seen as trans. Since I was little, I've always wanted to be a boy, and that's what I still want. Not transanything, just a boy.

[notyouraverageguy]

I want to be seen as a male, but like said I know I can never completely be male. I wasn't born in a male body and I will never fully be one. So I know the chances of just being seen as male instead of trans are slim, and I don't mind much I guess.

[Mark]

Honestly i just want to be seen as male.

[Vancha]

Just as a thought - perhaps identifying as completely male or female doesn't require us to deny our being born as something else.  Does being trans really make us less male or less female?  I don't think so, personally; just like how diabetes or being born with a heart defect doesn't make one less of a person.  Personally, I don't think I am female right now.  I have female traits, but many men who have hormone imbalances have female traits.  I feel male rather than "trans-anything", but then, I don't consider "trans" a whole identity in itself, but just a part of a larger identity.  Just my opinion.

[Radar]

I have to agree with V. Our bodily situations are different from the norm, but that still doesn't mean who we are inside. People born deformed or handicapped are no less human than anybody else. Despite our condition- and how others might view us- we are male inside our identity and mind. We get surgery done to correct and improve body image, but that's no different than correcting a deformity.

I am trans. I know this and that will never change. I know my situation is different from most guys. But... I am a man first. I am trans, but it doesn't take over my identity. This is just how I feel for now. Down the road I may think differently.

[Teknoir]

No, I'm not going to out myself to people I don't intend to sleep with.

You can't unring the bell, uncrash the car, or unpee in the pool. It's a one shot deal - once you're out, you're out.

I've had enough years of being the goddamn token. I've just started experiancing what it's like to be one of the regular guys. I have no intention of going back. I've had enough of my external sex colouring every interaction - it's great to finally interact with my peers and have them see me for who I am.

Becides, I can't see how it would be relevent to any of my friends. What possible reason could they have for knowing the contents of my pants? That's like asking what size my liver is, or how many kidneys I have left. Unless your friends are in the black market organ trade (in which case you might want to lie anyway), I don't think it'll ever matter if they assume you have something you might not have.

[Vancha]

You make a good point, Teknoir.  It seems like most people who are "stealth" as we call it, are only so because they know other people won't see them accurately if they were to come out of the metaphorical closet.  It's too bad that to most people, being trans dominates the rest of a person's identity rather than adding to it.  I can understand completely why many people would rather keep it a secret.  I've seen it color my interactions, as well, and not in positive ways.

[Brynn]

I think I definitely embrace it. When it's not, you know, depressing me. Ha. If at any point I do get involved in another relationship, I want my possible partner to understand that I am not a dyke (no offense intended; I once used the term to describe myself... often) but also not quite your average male.

[Alex_C]

I just want to be seen as just another guy.


And my stupid pal Mark keeps outing me! I dunno that will resolve somehow .... mainly as the T does its work, I'll get so it will just seem silly to call me female or FTM or whatever. My facial hair is taking its time, I'd like to be able to get the motorcycle cop moustache thing going.

[Mr. Fox]

For a while, I figured I'd want to be openly trans, but with some reflection and life experiences, I realized that I want to be stealth as soon as I go to college; I can tell because even now, when I can't even go stealth, I make huge efforts to delay people who think I'm male finding out that I'm transsexual.  This isn't really me wanting to be a regular or normal guy; that's a horrifying thought, and also quite impossible, being the flaming queen I am.  I will probably come out after a few years or months (probably the latter) of the stealth life (which probably won't be all that stealth, I'm sure I'll tell some of my friends; I just won't announce it to strangers, will take it off my facebook page, etc.), being the open person I am, but I would like some time in my life being considered neither the weird girl or the ->-bleeped-<- (now I'll get to be the ->-bleeped-<-got!)

[Radar]

And my stupid pal Mark keeps outing me! I dunno that will resolve somehow ....

Start calling him a woman and use female pronouns. Once he sees what it's like he'll try to be more mindful.

[Mr. Fox]

Start calling him a woman and use female pronouns. Once he sees what it's like he'll try to be more mindful.

"This is my friend Mark (*whispers* he's transsexual, but don't ask him about it, he'll just deny it, he gets embarrassed.)"