Real Life Experience

[Al James]

I may be being thick here but could someone please explain this one to me? I'm thirty seven years old and have known/thought that i should be male since my early teens. I haven't worn a skirt since i left school I have bought male clothes including underwear for at least 20 years, had my hair cut at a barbers since i was fifteen,get called sir or young man by people who don't know me as a female, use male public toilets. The only thing I don't do is walk round with a sign saying i am male. Does any of this count or do i have to do something different to prove I'm male to the medical community

[Janet_Girl]

Do you have your male identify established anywhere?  Drivers License, name change, bank accounts, rental agreement?


Janet

[Nero]

Depends on your therapist. If it's clear you've been 'presenting as male' (hate the term but) for years, maybe they'll take that into account. Might still make you do 3 months therapy though. If you're talking about bottom surgery though, I think they might need the RLE to be documented.

[june bug]

In my experience as long as you have a therapist willing to vouch for you you'll be good to go, and there _are_ therapists out there who will do this after a relatively short term evaluation.

[Alex_C]

Yep some, one office visit, ask some questions, fill out some questionnaires, yer in.

Helps to be in one's 40s and definitely not - ahem, well, the twinky "questioning" 20-something type.

[GnomeKid]

Yep some, one office visit, ask some questions, fill out some questionnaires, yer in.

Helps to be in one's 40s and definitely not - ahem, well, the twinky "questioning" 20-something type.

hmm I don't know about all that.

I went into a therapist, and was at once taken seriously as a male.  I'm not even sure I was 20 at the time.  Then again there was nothing "questioning" about me.  Though "twinky" I may not be able to deny =p  [though hopefully not for long!]

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To the OP:
I really think if you went into any therapist with half a brain and spewed that exact paragraph at them they'd be a-okay with excepting your trans-ness.  That may not get you out of therapy time, but I don't think they're require any proven/documented "real life experience."   

I'm not sure how they'd expect you to be able to get official things (that you're going to need ID for) marked as male when without they're consent[and probably even surgery] you can't get your ID changed to "M." 
Kind of would leave you running in circles.

[Alessandro]

Yeah it's pretty awful.  You're just really lucky you can pass.  I can't and just look like a lesbian drag king all the time, so how they'd expect me to try and get away with a male ID and going in male toilets without T I don't know.  The process is different in the UK though I believe.

[Al James]

Apparently the first guy I'm seeing is one who believes that the RLE should be longer than set out in Benjamins standards of care. So I'm not holding out much hope but at the minute it is all conjecture on my part. Sometimes when I'm sitting at work at two in the morning bored out of my skull all my demons come out to haunt me and I have to rant. My partner is wonderful but can't understand why I'm climbing the walls and can't be patient now its all out in the open. BUT i have got an appointment with my doctor on Monday to see if she'll write me a change of gender letter for the passport people and I've filled in the application for changing my name and gender with DVLA. Sorry, I'm rambling aren't i

[Radar]

Helps to be in one's 40s and definitely not - ahem, well, the twinky "questioning" 20-something type.

I think your right on this. I'm in my 30s and when I tell any doctor they don't even question it. My psychiatrist even said at my age your gender and sexual identity is pretty much discovered and determined. None of this "experimenting" stuff like you hear about in college.

Is it fair for the younger guys? No. But that's the stereotype the medical community has. It's probably even worse for teenages. They don't seem to be taken seriously on... anything.

To Alex K- Why are they wanting you to have RLE? For T or surgery? In the U.S. most doctors will skip RLE to get on T or have top surgery done. Most doctors for bottom surgery require RLE and to be on T for x period of time. It sounds to me that you've had enough RLE- or the best you can do.

I know in my state you can't have you gender changed on your driver's liscense without a doctor's note and top surgery done. So, many times you can't do one thing in transition until another thing is done. I love red tape. Anyway, I'm thinking your fine with RLE.

[Greg]

I can only speak from personal experience but my gender doc (private) who I saw in November counted my RLE from the date on my deed poll (October) so when I next see him (hopefully this month if the snow buggers off) I will have done the 3months RLE required by the Standards of Care to start T. Despite this I still consider myself to have been full time long before my name change, but rules are rules and I suppose the doctors have to cover themselves by using a relevent document with a date on it.

[Al James]

So if my deed poll is dated for this week and I'm supposedly seeing someone in march then i might be home and dry

[Greg]

If your private then probably yes. On NHS I think it depends how many sessions you've had with them.

Oh btw regarding drivers licence it's probably best to send them your doctors letter aswell. I don't know if they will change the gender marker in the licence number without a docs letter.

[Al James]

Thank you. I'll try to keep calm til Monday then when i see the doctor and then go from there. So monday night I could be ranting again!

[Nero]

Apparently the first guy I'm seeing is one who believes that the RLE should be longer than set out in Benjamins standards of care. So I'm not holding out much hope but at the minute it is all conjecture on my part. Sometimes when I'm sitting at work at two in the morning bored out of my skull all my demons come out to haunt me and I have to rant. My partner is wonderful but can't understand why I'm climbing the walls and can't be patient now its all out in the open. BUT i have got an appointment with my doctor on Monday to see if she'll write me a change of gender letter for the passport people and I've filled in the application for changing my name and gender with DVLA. Sorry, I'm rambling aren't i

Is he talking about RLE for bottom surgery or T?

[Al James]

To be fair I haven't seen him yet just read various things about him when i was checking up. Think he was responsible for another doctor being disciplined for being too "lenient"

[JakeDenver]

I know where I go they are very strict on the 3 months of therapy until T and then 12 months from the T letter until I can be approved for a top surgery letter. During the 12 months I am suppose to have my RLE but I dont know how that is possible when I have a DDD chest. Not so easy to hide. I do have my license changed to jake and male but that doesnt help. Not everyone asks for ID.
Anyways I think there should be exceptions to the RLE. Like if you have been living as male is this case for a while or if the chest proves to make a problem with passing. But that is just my opinion.

[Al James]

I agree about the chest. I'm DD and while its fine in winter its not so easy to hide once summer gets here

[JakeDenver]

Well yes in the winter they can be easy to hide with layers and hoodies and such but the summer I sure the heck dont want to be in 90 or 100 degree weather trying to hide my chest under layers.

[Al James]

Guess I'm slightly luckier on that one- its not often the uk gets 90 or 100 degree weather!!!

[JakeDenver]

Oh man that is lucky. It sometimes even gets over 100 here. I hate it. I hate the hot weather.