Introduction

[clare aston]

Hello Everyone!

My femme name is Clare Aston and i am an older bi-gendered male. I have been consciously adding feminine elements to my clothing for years, but have only recently begun dressing consistently with the support of my wife and a number of enthusisiastic female friends. I live in a small town in the north of England.
i am in the process of finding myself, and have been out a number of times for shopping and socialising with a number of friends.
I find that i am androgenous, and would like to know more about how to dress, and appear more this way. I am happiest when i am able to express my gentle side, and am able to truely connect with others. I would like to be able to come out more at work, but this is a small, quite parochial town; i work in an Equal Opportunities workplace, but not all my workmates are - good people (for the most part) that they are!
Others of a given gender may be able to do this without the need to dress or express physically, but, with me, it seems to be a given - or at least helps! Any advice on where to begin will be valued.

[Janet_Girl]

Hi Clare,

Welcome to our little family. Over 4000 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member.

And be sure to check out

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Hugs and Love,
Janet

[clare aston]

Your welcome much appreciated. Thankyou xx

[gennee]

Welcome to the forums, Clare. Looks like you're doing quite well.

Gennee

[clare aston]

Thanks Genee

But every day is a winding road - to quote the song. Nothing's quite as it seems, and its been a painful haul at times!

Ta Clare xx

[gennee]

Thanks Genee

But every day is a winding road - to quote the song. Nothing's quite as it seems, and its been a painful haul at times!

Ta Clare xx

Each day is different. I struggled somewhat my first year because I was ajusting to living in my new identity. I was 56 at the time. I embraced each positive experience and never let the negative stop me. This is a journey I've traveled along many winding roads . I crossed all of them because I couldn't go back. I have to say that it's been worth it.

Gennee

[K8]

Welcome to Susan's, Clare.  You can find a lot of good people and good information here. 

It is wonderful that you have the support of your wife and friends.  In the end, it is all about finding yourself and becoming whole.

Happy exploring.

- Kate

[clare aston]

Thanks ever so for all yr kind welcomes - i hope to make some good friends on here!

Perhaps one question to start the ball rolling - without being camp (which most of the women i know, are definitely not) how do people 'find' the opposite gender within themselves. Is this something one has to cultivate? Does it just surface at times?
Is masculinity just something we do because of the company we're in and the places we work at?

Just a thought -
Clare x

[K8]

I'm not sure this answers your question, but for me it seemed to be that as I relaxed into myself I became more feminine.  I remember as a child being constantly told not to walk like a girl.  I learned to not walk like a girl, but now I've unlearned it. 

Much of my behavior has been like that – removing the layer of socialization I had to put on in order to get by pretending to be a man.  Now that I don't have to pretend any more and can just be myself, I end up acting like a woman.  (Gee.  I wonder if that means something? )

I think that I didn't learn to act like a woman - I just unlearned how to act like a man.  In the beginning it took some conscious effort, but it got easier as I went.

I hope that helps.

- Kate

[Janet_Girl]

It is funny you said "unlearned how to act like a man", Kate.  I took some on-line classes about how to "Act/walk/behave like a woman"  and I realized that I did not need it.  I just need to let my true nature come through and 'unlearn' how to cover it up.

I think most, if not all of us, older transitioners find that this is true.  We have spent so much time hiding that nature that we now get to be free to express this true nature.  And it is so freeing.