erections and plumbing: enjoy it, tolerate it, or hate it?

[azSam]

Well to answer the original questions. Yes I hate getting erections, with an unbelievable amount of fiery, angry hate. I hate dealing with the whole thing in general. As a matter of fact, if I knew I had to live the rest of my life with a penis, I would rather not have anything at all, and just whack it clean off. I never really used it for anything other than self pleasure. All of the "girlfriends" I've tried to maintain a relationship with said I was just to non-manly. So I gave up on that. I will probably die and never use the thing for it's intended purpose.

As to the topic of "primary" and "secondary", not going to really get into all that.

[Hannah]

This discussion has kind of got me thinking. My therapist is a genetic woman, as is my neighbor. They both seem rather fascinated and rather enamoured with the idea of a girl with a penis. I wonder if we switched bodies for a limited time how long it would take the novelty to wear off. They wouldn't have the psycho/physical distress of a brain in the wrong juice to deal with, just the part. I wonder if they could work it, it's harder than it looks! I bet they would pee all over the place, I just know that's the first thing they'd try to do and make a huge mess.

[V M]

Aiming the darn thing could be a bit difficult at first if your not use to it 

But once they successfully write their name on a wall or two I'm sure they'll feel quite jolly 

[lilacwoman]

When I told my contact at the gender clinic that we TS are the most despised, despicable she could not believe it.  Probably never reads news of murders, arsons of TS  etc.

As a marker of what we feel about our penises: how many of us did the tying string round it, praying for it to go away, when we were several years away from puberty? etc etc?
Post Merge: February 01, 2010, 06:03:44 AM

What I will never understand is why some old MTF transitioners get marry 4, 5, 6 times as men,

To paraphrase: what I will never understand is these young fools who haven't a clue about the fact that sex change wasn't generally available until we were well past puberty and even then there may not have been any local way to access info let alone find therapis, hormones and surgeons.
Pia's attack is basically the same as Blanchard and Baileys discredited crap.

And can I ask everyone and especially Pia to go read Anne Vitale's Tnote #6 Mid Life Awakaneing which explains perfectly why 'some old MtF transitioners  etc...www.avitale.com

[Sandy]

When I told my contact at the gender clinic that we TS are the most despised, despicable she could not believe it.  Probably never reads news of murders, arsons of TS  etc.

As a marker of what we feel about our penises: how many of us did the tying string round it, praying for it to go away, when we were several years away from puberty? etc etc?
Post Merge: February 01, 2010, 06:03:44 AM
To paraphrase: what I will never understand is these young fools who haven't a clue about the fact that sex change wasn't generally available until we were well past puberty and even then there may not have been any local way to access info let alone find therapis, hormones and surgeons.
Pia's attack is basically the same as Blanchard and Baileys discredited crap.

And can I ask everyone and especially Pia to go read Anne Vitale's Tnote #6 Mid Life Awakaneing which explains perfectly why 'some old MtF transitioners  etc...www.avitale.com

I did the string thing when I was about 8 or 9.  Very, very painful.  I also despised the masculinization of my body and did not want all that hair growing on it.

Thanks for the like to the avitale site.  I had lost it somewhere along the line.  And thank you for your measured response to those who have yet to walk a mile, let alone a mile in our moccasins.

-Sandy

[Melissa M]

Hmmm, interesting question.  Since I hated just about everything about my malish body, and took steps to uhm, make it not so malish, I had to remember that this part of the body is needed for my SRS.  So, do I hate it?  No, but I don't like it either.  I know I have to use it for...well, purposes outside of sex, but that is all.  I find it a bit of a nuiscense, and it gets in the bloody way, and isn't what I see in my minds eye.  I know one day it will be gone, and I will be happy, just like I was when I had my orchy, I was thrilled as I knew I would no longer have the up hill battle with Testosterone.  One step at a time, is still a step....

[Ave]

I appreciate the honesty of some of the posters here.  My kudos to you.

What I will never understand is why some old MTF transitioners get marry 4, 5, 6 times as men, have 4, 5, 6 kids & then they wake up one foggy Thursday & say that they've "always hated their plumbing so much" .  If you hated your plumbing so much, why did you get marry 4, 5, 6 times?  If you hated it so much why did you have 4, 5, 6 kids?.  To me that tells me that you didn't "hate" it but liked it.  If you liked it, be honest with yourself & say so instead of engaging yourself in semantics to deceive people.  I can't stand that.  It pisses me off.

thread rez

+1

[azSam]

That may have been the most amazing thread rez evar. Nearly 3 years. I got an email for it. I said to myself, "Hmmm, from susans huh? I haven't been on there in AGES!"

[Ave]

That may have been the most amazing thread rez evar. Nearly 3 years. I got an email for it. I said to myself, "Hmmm, from susans huh? I haven't been on there in AGES!"

girl, you already know

[Aleah]

I know it's a necro thread, but this is a good topic.

To answer the question, I am 24 now and only just started my transition. But I will cover some of my more sexual feelings, I can't really give a short answer to this, I'm full of mixed feelings.

I have been in a relationship with a girl for a few years about 2 years ago, but I always knew I was at least bi sexual, I enjoyed anal sex and being submissive. I would occasionally fantasize about men and always imagine my self as a girl. She eventually caught me crossdressing and I tried to convince her to be "the man" and treat me like a girl, well that was a quick way to end a relationship. But it was for the best, I finally accepted to myself the truth I always knew.

I would often crossdress in private, but it was never autoerotic in itself, actually most of the time I didn't want to have an erection, I always wished that it would just go away and I could tuck my genitalia to "pass" better even when involved in private autoerotic activities. I wanted to just have an orgasm like a normal girl.

Now that I'm transitioning, I find I get erections much less often, especially when involved in autoerotic activities when en femme. I avoid even orgasm involving my penis these days, because I'm satisfied just from the anal penetration and the fantasy alone, just knowing that I've accepted I'm a woman has made all the difference. However, I still give in sometimes and I always regret having to orgasm like a male, I wish I just didn't have that urge but I guess since it's autoerotic it's probably a desire for some kind of closure. Which would normally be received emotionally when with a man.

As for actually having the "equipment", I'm not interested in fooling any men by going stealth, I would want anyone to accept me as a trans woman and to know I'm trans. I feel this way I will find someone who truely accepts me for who I am. So in the sense of "passing", I guess I don't mind it. I haven't had any real experiences with men to actually make a judgement on how I feel about having it, or erections, or orgasms, while with a man.

I'm also quite scared of SRS, since I'm not a very depressive person, sure, I've had my bouts of depression throughout the years and very serious but I've always found the will the carry on and "deal with it" (which was just denial, I think this is the crux of your question, some people go on for years in this denial mode and just survive) so I couldn't see myself being so dysphoric about my penis for it to persaude me to get something as serious as SRS, at least not right now. I guess it will depend on my future sexual experiences and how it will affect them, if I find a man who loves me for who I am and is fine with it, why shouldn't I be fine with it?

I guess what I'm saying is, I am a woman, I feel like a woman, I talk like a woman and I will look like a woman, and everyone (including my bf) will treat me like a woman, so what does it matter if I have a useless spout between my legs? As long as I can be satisfied sexually and satisfy someone sexually. Basically, having the wrong genitalia isn't the most important part of my "passing" as a woman and being happy.
(I know this opens a whole bag of worms about "what kind" of man would want to be with someone like that, why wouldn't they want me to go through SRS? etc. but I figure, if I'm happy and he is happy, who really cares? No reason to create a problem out of nothing.)

Wow, that was very personal and long, but feels good to get it out tho! 

[Alainaluvsu]

Mine doesn't work very well and I'm glad it doesn't. I don't like having erections... never did. They have always been extremely embarrassing to me, even when I was being intimate with somebody. I've always been disgusted that I had one and I'll be happy when it's gone and replaced with something I can be comfortable with.

[MagicKitty]

At around 7 months, it was very hard to get/ maintain an erection when I wanted it. That's frustrating. I don't mind having a dick, but I do dislike it in a way.

If I could get an erection, sure, i'd probably just get an orchi. But without erections, it's literally useless for anything sexual. Months ago, I used to think that I wouldn't mind keeping my dick, as it saves a lot of money, but more and more, my thoughts changed and it's less and less appealing.

[LizMarie]

As for why so many of us didn't transition until later in life, try imagining being threatened with or actually treated with electro-shock therapy as a child. Of being shown pictures of huge and very masculine cross dressing males and asked if you want to end up like that. Of being repeatedly told by society and all its institutions that having the feelings you do have are signs of perversion, that you are a "monster", a "danger" to normal people, that you are "evil", "sinful", and destined to the fires of hell.

Try taking all that on as a young child and you tell me how long it takes you to eventually shake off that massive guilt and fear trip to where you can finally face yourself. The 1950s and 1960s were not the good ole' days. They were a period of insecurity, fears, and rabid anti-GLBT phobias. Unfortunately there is still a part of society today that is just as backwards now as it was then.

Guilt and fear are tremendous drivers of behavior but eventually guilt fades and fear is replaced by real knowledge. It is then that so many of us discovered that we no longer need to hide or be afraid.

[Kevin Peña]

I haven't even begun HRT and mine doesn't work. Oh well, that's sleep deprivation for you. 

As far as hating it, I don't really hate anything. It's way too strong word. I'm a bit of a pragmatist in the sense that I value logic and practicality, so while it's not an optimal genital arrangement, I'll use what I have. Doesn't make me any less of a girl. For example, lesbians use strap-on phallus sometimes, yet they're still girls. So what if my "strap-on" just so happens to be permanent? 

Also, my sister is a heterosexual biological female with no affiliation to the LGBT community aside from me and a few of her LGBT friends. She blatantly told me, "I hate my vagina." I asked her if she was trans and she said, "No, I just don't like my vagina, it's gross and so high-maintenance."

So now the question is whether or not you hate a vagina... 

[Alainaluvsu]

So now the question is whether or not you hate a vagina... 

Yes. I hate vaginas, but only the vaginas on other people.

[~RoadToTrista~]

I hate erections. I simply like my sex drive more than I hate getting erections.

[Nicolette]

So now the question is whether or not you hate a vagina... 

Personally, all genitals are gross. I remember the first time seeing a porn mag and thinking, and still do, WTF is that!??! A vagina looks like an open wound. A penis and testes look like a pendulous, amorphous lump of deformed flesh. Being absolutely smooth down there would seem an improvement, but wouldn't be exactly a 'human' look.

[cynthialee]

I think that vaginas and penises are neat looking and I am not grossed out by either at all.

[Alainaluvsu]

I only like looking at penises on some men

[SUMMERWINE]

i dont like erections as its something idont have the desire to use for its purpose. for the same reasons i feel i have the wrong plumbing. it sort of screw up sex as i want the bits to receive not give. i dont hate it its just something thats always been wrong. unlike some ive never done the man thing of family ect i could never get passed mental confusion having tried normal sex once and it felt awfully wrong.