Everyone who has posted so far, thank you. I know this area of discussion has probably been gone over so many times, and for once I'm not even really looking for a discussion. We learn so much by knowing and understanding other peoples lives. And I thought it might be informative for myself, and especially new people as they discover the site to hear some candid thoughts on some of the common issues we all deal with in one way or another.
In fact, reading the responses so far, I've learned a little more about myself, since starting the thread. I previously stated that passing was a non-issue for me, and I realize now in the mirror of some of the statements made here, that is not actually true.
It is true, I don't care about passing as a real woman. And personally, I don't care that I am a man who likes to present in various levels of femme, EXCEPT when I am judged for it. Like Tinkerbell's wonderful statements on how much time, money, and trouble TS's go through to complete the transformation and the reason's why, I too feel a pressure to meet a standard, even if it is an undefined standard based on my own vagaries, and the dictums of the fashion police.
The following examples are all referring to something I would wear out and about town and irrespective of what I am comfortably wearing around the house alone or among close friends. If I I want to wear a pair of capri style jeans (female) with a dress shirt, dress tennis shoes, etc.. (male), I do so without hesitation and without real regard for if it presents masculine or feminine, as long as I feel as though it is a worthy outfit. If I am going to wear a skirt in the same genderbent manner, I take a bit more concern to make sure that the outfit is stylish and
really works. And when I begin to cross the line, still genderbending, but in nearly all female attire, the farther towards total cross dressing I get, the more concerned I become with whether the ensemble, the presentation, actually complements me, my figure, enhances my appearance in some way, is
extremely fashionable. The more I cross the line of gender appropriate presenation the more I concern myself with every little detail to ensure that, despite being surely misunderstood by the public at large, at least they won't be able to critique the presentation itself (only the act of doing it if they have a problem).
Generally if something I'm wearing is women's clothing, but something a man would wear in a different style or cut, I am completely unphased by presenting as man, stubble, less concerned about my gestures and movements (which are already somewhat effeminate and dare I say refined
). However, moving into women's only clothing like skirts and dresses, and more so as the "femininity" level rises, I find it necessary to start adding more feminine accessories, adding some makeup, smoother skin, no stubble, rounding out the entire ensemble. I'm still a guy in a dress, but I still need to somehow live up to the expectations of what it means to utilize the symbols of the feminine gender.
Thus, I am concerned about passing, just not passing like I thought when I started the thread.
Thank you all so much for sharing (some of you for the umpteenth time). But surely we continue to grow and new people come on board and the dialog can evolve as does our lives.
