Time for a happy post.
So last night we hosted a small dinner party for a couple we've known for ages but had not seen for quite a while. Which means the last time they saw me I was still a guy. This time when they came over I made no pretense of that. I had come out to them already, and the wife especially has been super supportive. But still, they've only ever seen me in guy mode. Not this time.
I just wore casual clothes, but my hair was down and styled and I put on a little makeup & earrings. Nothing over the top, but pretty clearly not presenting as a guy or as someone androgynous either. I was a woman, and proud to show it.
It seemed like it took a little while for them to warm up to things, but that could simply be because we hadn't seen each other for so long. After that it was just... easy. I didn't feel like I had to hide anything. I didn't have to try to figure out cues as to how I should act. What I should laugh about. No pressure at all to prove that I was a guy. I could just relax and interact honestly. Is this how it has always felt for cisgendered people when they're interacting? I rather think it is. And just wow. I used to feel kind of drained and exhausted after a night like that - even with people I liked. This time I just felt happy... and actually energized by the experience.
Also, toward the latter part of the evening I turned the conversation to the obvious... my new appearance. And they were super complimentary. The main word they used was "natural." As in "You seem so natural this way. You act so naturally. This seems natural on you." I couldn't have hoped for a better compliment.
This was the kind of experience I didn't even plan to try until spring. That was my goal... present to friends and family outside the workplace as female starting this spring. I feel like things are going better and faster than I ever dreamed possible. And last night's experience definitely added to that feeling.
