When is it "too late"?

[Dragon Angel]

Hello everyone!

I have been wondering...when is it considered "too late" to begin transition from male to female?  Biologically, mentally, emotionally...I feel like I'm on a ticking clock toward doom.  That every action I will make in the future will be influenced by when I can make this change, or how soon my male body will lock itself into permanent masculinity.  Kindof like a very twisted butterfly effect.

I know many of you began in your 30s, 40s, or even 50s, and this question may seem a little odd...but I'm relatively new to this whole ordeal.   It's been almost a half-year since it finally dawned on me that I've been suffering from this body mismatch, since time immemorial.  I've seen one therapist, and attended a group session for two weeks before I started to go insane with social anxiety (a problem I have that I'm trying to get rid of)...and it's more or less been, personally, confirmed that what I feel really is what I feel.

What does everyone around here think?  How can I deal with this, until I finally have the money to fix it all?

[spacial]

Since you ask, I would suggest that it's too late after you die.

But you could get round that little hurdle by asking your relatives to respect your wishes.

[Silver]

Best results from in your twenties. It just slowly deteriorates. But after your twenties (AKA after puberty has finished) the change is less dramatic. 30-40 isn't a huge difference. But there's also the thing of having lived more years in your target gender that you'll most likely enjoy.

Really though, do it whenever you want. Better late than never, they say. As for the dysphoria. . . escapism? Try to ignore it.

[pamshaw]

The sooner the better but is never too late to accept your true self.

Late bloomer
Pam

[mtfbuckeye]

I'll be 35 in April... pre-everything. I don't feel like there's ever a point where it would be "too late," but I am starting to feel the clock ticking with more urgency. If I start in the next few years, I can still enjoy the experience of being a "young"-ish woman. Not that there's anything wrong with being an older woman.. I actually really look forward to that... It would just be nice to be young AND cute for a while before I am a distinguished older lady
Post Merge: February 07, 2010, 01:29:16 PM
I should expand a bit on what I just said: the idea of being a 50-year-old woman sounds very pleasant to me... I feel like I could really pull it off. But being a 50-year-old man? Frankly that notion fills me with something like mortal terror... DO. NOT. WANT.

[tekla]

Yes, there are two paths you can go by
But in the long run
There's still time to change
The road you're on...

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard
The truth will come to you at last
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll 

[Flan]

My 2 cents are you start when you are ready or have nothing to lose.
It's too late when you're dead.

Before puberty to remove gonads and have hrt that mimics puberty would be the lala land "start" of transition. The rest of us get meds after age of majority, well after puberty has done physical changes undesired. I suppose the claim that younger is better, but mostly because of hormones that regulate body function are greater in youth then age, hence ability to change/adapt the body.

[Hannah]

I have to admit I'm a little shocked by how straight these answers are thus far, did I log into the wrong place? What happened to the usual crowd?

Anyway it's never too late, you would be suprised how malleable your body is.

[Janet_Girl]

It is too late if they throw the first shovelful of dirt over you and you have done nothing.

I am 17 months RLE, 22 months HRT and I am 55, almost 56.


It is never too late.

[Hannah]

I was thinking about ffs in the context of my anthropology class earlier. Ya know, with alterations made to living bone I would imagine it would heal enough that in 100,000 years your skeleton would still look female. Unless of course they have to fill your sinus cavity with plastic, that might puzzle future archaeologists. So even if you can't pass now there is hope of being known as "Lucy" in the distant future.

[rejennyrated]

Ok

I'm somewhat in the minority here in that I began my transition whilst still in my childhood... But even I would agree:

It is never too late. Although I would add that it is better if you can do it earlier.

[Dragon Angel]

Thank you, everyone.  This puts more things into perspective for me.  I'm heading into 24, so...that does give me a little bit more time I guess.  I definitely don't want to extend this period beyond my late 20's, however!

To Becca: Being a unique historical artifact does sound like an interesting...alternative.   But, let's see what happens in the future, lol.

[K8]

My 2 cents are you start when you are ready or have nothing to lose.
It's too late when you're dead.

It is never too late to be what you might have been. - George Eliot

I started at age 65.  It can be done, but younger is better if you are ready and able earlier.

That happy old crone,
Kate

[SusanKG]

24!!! Come on, you are just getting started! OK, you missed Girlhood, and the  teenage years (perhaps not such a bad thing!) but IF this is what you want and believe is you, then get on board for whatever time is left, probably 50, maybe 60 years or more. Kate has mostly gotten there at 65, I am just starting at 63 and moving as fast as my arthritic body will let me (Waaaa) and plan on getting there tomorrow. Well, maybe a bit longer, but as soon as I can. I will not put this off any more!

The best time to have this corrected is before birth. If not then, then as soon as possible. Take notes here and other sources, make a plan, work your plan. Do not put yourself in my position of having put it off much, much too long. Better sooner than later, but better to get it done, if that's the decision you, and only you make.

SusanKG

[Hannah]

Ya Susan has a point, this stuff is hard and takes real balls. Ironic, isn't it? There is definitely a time for planning but the time for action comes too, otherwise you'll be 40 before you know it and still be planning and scheming without ever sacking up and actually doing anything.

Sometimes you just have to trust your intuition and go for it.

[spacial]

As becca says, putting it off is an excuse that you'll use over and over.

I really wish I hadn't done so. I had the opportunity but other priorities got in the way.

But to be fair to myself, I was completely alone in my decision. If I'd had Susan's for example, I know I would have gone for it, perhaps in my late teens. No internet then. 

But equally, we do these things when we can.

[Sheila]

I started my transition at 49 and I'm still transitioning or should I say learning. I'm post op and I'm 60 years old had my surgery at 54 and I wish I could have done it earlier.

[cassie09]

Hello everyone!

I have been wondering...when is it considered "too late" to begin transition from male to female?  Biologically, mentally, emotionally...I feel like I'm on a ticking clock toward doom.  That every action I will make in the future will be influenced by when I can make this change, or how soon my male body will lock itself into permanent masculinity.  Kindof like a very twisted butterfly effect.

I know many of you began in your 30s, 40s, or even 50s, and this question may seem a little odd...but I'm relatively new to this whole ordeal.   It's been almost a half-year since it finally dawned on me that I've been suffering from this body mismatch, since time immemorial.  I've seen one therapist, and attended a group session for two weeks before I started to go insane with social anxiety (a problem I have that I'm trying to get rid of)...and it's more or less been, personally, confirmed that what I feel really is what I feel.

What does everyone around here think?  How can I deal with this, until I finally have the money to fix it all?

I don't think it makes a whole much of a difference if you start in your 20's or later. I think the issue of time is only an issue in your teen years when a matter of months can be the difference between a male voice and a female voice, chest expansion, etc.

I am 23 (almost 24) and i started transition only a year ago and I dont think my age will make all that much of a difference. I had already had 75% of mature facial hair by the time, an incredibly hairy body, etc.

I was blessed with some traits that cannot be affected by age that have allowed me to pass as female. Mainly I have a feminine voice, even as a male it was considered somewhat high. Secondly, I was incredibly short as a male and considered average height as a female (5'4 and 3/4).