Ok...So i breathe... and i vent...:(

[wannalivethetruth]

So i'm sure most of you have felt this way, but im to the point where i just about can't take it any longer.

Last year around June, i came out to my mothers side of the family that i'm trans. I've been dressing up inside the house (im still a minor) on and off. Sometimes i feel pretty and sometimes i just feel like a monster, like i can't just run away from that. I am not on hormones but i am seeing a therapist. It's so hard, sometimes i feel like i need to cry but i can't.. but theirs a lot of frustration inside of me. My dad side of the family is more "religious" and i just feel fake around them. School, is hard.. because i can't be myself, and i feel thats the only thing thats keeping me from transitioning. I have 2 more years left in school and its just eats me that i might become hulk in a few years or within them 2. My face is feminin and i can pass with facial. My body on the other hand is more....thick..i have the thighs and the nice legs...but the curves...makes me sad. I feel like crying, and its strange cause i'm crying right now. I think im ready to start hormones, but then what about school? I just want to be me, why does it have to be so hard?   

[Miniar]

*hugs*

looked like you could use one.

I'm sorry it's hard, it's hard for everyone.
None of us can tell you what you need to do, you need to work that out for yourself.
But we can be here for hugs (and a place to vent ofc) when you need it.

[Jester]

At least you're doing something about it.

Don't do what I did in high school.  I came out to my family, went to a counsellor once.  The pressure of the situation built up and I started to crack, especially since my family (myself included) are renowned for being the meanest, least supportive people on the face of the planet for anything at all.  I lied to my mom and told her that the counsellor sorted me out and that I was a normal boy now.  Once you're out, don't go back in.  It's a big step, and going backwards will make you feel way crappier than the forward momentum.

[Dante]

I definitely know that feeling! I know it sucks, but just hang in there! See if you can get some hormone blockers. You might have a doctor's office/clinic that can give them to you confidentially nearby, so you should look into that.

[Janet_Girl]

Gods, I hate High School.  Called "Queer", "->-bleeped-<-" and other nasty names.  I was the target for every bully in the school, till I put one of them into a locker for hurting my then boyfriend ( Ok he thought we were just best friends ), but that is another story.

Hang in there, see if Mom can let your see a gender therapist.  Maybe the therapist will help you convince her to allow you to start some kind of HRT.  But it is only a few more years till you are of 'age'.