Do you acknowledge the existance of your factory installed parts?

[zombiesarepeaceful]

In conversations where sex, bathrooms, pissing, etc, is brought up, even in conversations where I'm only around people who know I'm trans..I don't acknowledge having a...yeah. I can't even say it. I hate the fact that it even exists on me. If they're all talking about their dicks and pissing, I go along with it, acting as if I have the same equipment as they do. I do, it's called a phantom penis, lol. I piss standing up, and I wear a packer. If they're talking about sex though, I usually get quiet cause that's a hard subject to emulate if you've never had one to experiment with sexually.

No, having a dick does not make one a man. But it still bothers me that I have what I have down there, so I don't bring it into subject. If I'm in a group of lesbians and they're talking sex, I stay quiet as well. I often get friends who say well, what do you think about this? When they're talking about their vaginas, pms, sex, etc..and I just respond with, "I wouldn't know, I don't have one." That usually either shuts them up cause they're trying to picture if I have both parts, or makes them even more loud, insisting, "YES YOU DO!!" and I just want to send them flying across the room for their ignorance.

Also, when someone (who knows whether you're trans or not) goes to kick you down there, do you grab your junk like a normal man? I do...for one it's made of hair gel in a condom and could be easily broken and 2...it's a normal reaction to me. Alot of trans guys I know do the same.

So, what do you personally do in these awkward situations?

[kyril]

I, um, don't talk about...it. Never could. My mom didn't even get to know when it started leaking.

I spend basically zero time alone with women, so those conversations just don't happen...when they did, back when I was a kid and girls occasionally tolerated my presence, I would just get horribly embarrassed and try to shut the whole conversation out of my mind. There's absolutely no way I would ever have acknowledged the parts in the presence of women. Hell, I won't even change in the open in a locker room, because a girl might see me, and that just seems rude.

I can, however, function with straight men, so I guess I acknowledge the parts in that way. I won't talk about them, though, except to make up some excuses for why I don't like certain things. Luckily the things I object to are the things most of them aren't terribly excited about doing.

And yeah, I've always felt the "sympathy pains" when I see guys get hit in the crotch. Never could articulate why. And it really bothered me when all the guys would groan in sympathy, and the girls would laugh at the poor guy. I don't think I've ever personally been kicked down there - I instinctively protect that area in the same way I protect my face/head when I fall.

[DavisJ86]

Regardless of what's down there, I'm protecting my junk. If anyone makes any general movement to that area in a violent way, it gets protected lol.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

Sometimes I worry that when I do get kicked down there...someone will notice I'm not in as much pain than other guys...(which someone has noticed before, but I was too uptight about the whole thing and I think it showed)

[kyril]

I just try to avoid getting kicked down there in the first place! Ow. I want to stop thinking about it now.

Drunken living room wrestling is about the only thing I do that makes me feel at risk of accidental crotch-violence, and that's an activity that's bound to "out" you anyway, so...

[zombiesarepeaceful]

LOL. Yeah, anytime touching eachother, even through clothes, starts, I get tense cause obviously they can feel my binder. So I avoid it.

[Carson]

I have a penis, its very small, but I have one and therefore I refer to it as such, and no one needs to know that some idiot screwed up an put an incision where it wasn't supposed to be when I was born, my genitals for the most part are my own business.

And my girlfriend kicks me in the crotch all the time (she is weird) and yes I protect myself like my life depends on it lol especially now after some growth, even through my packer, it really hurts.

[Radar]

If I'm in a group of (women) and they're talking sex, I stay quiet as well. I often get friends who say well, what do you think about this? When they're talking about their vaginas, pms, sex, etc..

Yeah, whenever that kind of talk came up around women I usually stayed quiet, ignored it or tuned it out. I think people started to catch on. Very uncomfortable.

Also, when someone goes to kick you down there, do you grab your junk like a normal man?...it's a normal reaction to me.

Yes, I've always done that too though I haven't had to in a long time. Is this is a reoccurring thing for you?
Post Merge: February 26, 2010, 05:38:22 PM

Hell, I won't even change in the open in a locker room, because a girl might see me, and that just seems rude.

Wow, I was always like that too. I'd change quickly when no one was looking, what till everyone was gone or go to the stalls. I was embarrassed about a female seeing me nude. As much as I loved PE, sports and the gym the locker rooms are tricky.

[GabrielJames]

I've always felt sympathetic seeing a guy get hit in the crotch. It's an automatic thing and it always has been. Just thinking about it now makes me cringe.

And I used to talk about my..."down theres". I was even in the Vagina Monologues once. I'd been trying so hard to hide my true feelings for years (to myself and to others) that I OVERTALKED about it to make people realize what I had down there. I even named it. I didn't want people to question what I was because I wasn't even ready to admit it to myself.

Now if you'd ask me, I'd say it's none of your business. I've always thought of myself as having a phantom penis (I named *that*, too). Now it just seems a lot more real to me. Once I start on T I'll have more of a physical one than I had before and I think then it will be easier for me to talk about it with people.

[VampyreAri]

When they're talking about their vaginas, pms, sex, etc..and I just respond with, "I wouldn't know, I don't have one." That usually either shuts them up cause they're trying to picture if I have both parts, or makes them even more loud, insisting, "YES YOU DO!!" and I just want to send them flying across the room for their ignorance.

A few of my friends used to try the 'yes you do!'. It pissed me off to no end. But they soon learned that it earned them a sharp punch to the arm or the chest. Which, considering I can knock over a 200lb punching bag with one punch if I really try, isn't something that's easily ignored. ...Those few learned their lesson. Quickly. ...But maybe I'm just violent.

Also, when someone (who knows whether you're trans or not) goes to kick you down there, do you grab your junk like a normal man?

Ouch. Yes. Dude, even with factory parts, at least for me, its still like MAJOR PAIN! Protect at all costs. ...Come to think of it some of my friends used to think I was weird for things like that... Makes sense now that I look back on it...

[Lachlann]

Yes I protect myself when someone goes to hit me in the crotch because no matter if you're male or female, serious damage can happen not to mention bruising. Also, it still hurts. A hit is a hit, it's going to hurt no matter what you've got.

But I do acknowledge the parts I have. But I'm still disappointed with what I have. I'm aware there are ways to get the most out of it, especially with enlargement through testosterone, but dang it... I still want to penetrate like a normal guy and feel it. I know some guys do get big enough to penetrate successfully without surgery but I'd imagine it's rare.

But I haven't been around people enough lately irl to have these issues. I have no issue talking about periods and such for the people who do know about me.

[MuddyFrog]

I acknowledge the parts I have truthfully when I was a kid I was embarrassed about them being odd. As a transguy gaining more growth from T I'm proud. FYI I have been kicked below the belt not to mention split the rail while skating believe me you won't have to act out the pain. Depending on the setting as well I have seen cisguys try to make like of someone getting hit or hurt there. Then again I guess I have a lot of immature friends if we slam then we insult each other until the whining stops.

[Silver]

I don't generally associate with women. Therefore, no real reason for me to talk about vagina. But yeah, in the odd case that it does come up, I acknowledge its presence (well, only the people who have been in my pants ever bring it up. So naturally. . .)

Nobody kicks me in the crotch. Getting into those uncomfortable if-I-had-balls-I'd-be-in-serious-pain-now moments though, I'm glad not to have them. About the only thing to appreciate about my lack of balls, one less vulnerability.

Not that I don't have a problem with the parts. They're just a little easier to learn to live with than other, obvious things. There is definitely more to a man than is reproductive/sexual function (or, at least more to the kind of man I see myself as) and there are many, more important things.

Still, I would love to have a penis and well. . . have straight sex with a woman. But it's pretty unlikely. More ramblings. . . I used to have phantom penis thing going on, thought it was weird and it's pretty much gone away. It's a bit hard to imagine the feel of a penis when my own is hiding.

[Nygeel]

When it comes to getting hit in the crotch I go with the Jason Ellis drunken story...I'll hold up my beer like a friggen neanderthal while taunting the person hitting me "ha ha ha, you idiot! I'm not even spilling my drink."

I've got code names for my genitals which I use so nobody understands.

[Adio]

In situations where a group of guys are just talking about pissing or sex, I generally walk away because I'm a fairly modest guy.  I could probably talk about those things if I wanted to (with enough accuracy to not be outed) but I simply don't want to.

As for protecting my crotch, I do that all the time.  I'm very aware of my junk/packer and objects that may come into contact with it such as a desk or chair.  I just put one hand in front of me (not grabbing myself but about 3 to 5 cm away) to keep my crotch from being squashed/mashed by whatever it is.  If I think I'll be hit, I cover myself.

I've never actually gotten hit.  I do have that fear that I won't react properly if I do.  But with the growth I've gotten on T, I figure it'll hurt enough to give a realistic reaction.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

Some chick at the gay bar last night seemed to get a kick out of outting me (I think the whole damn bar tends to do that, consciously or not, some people do it on purpose). I stole my friend's hat and put it under my shirt, and she got real close to me and got on her knees, under my shirt..damn, it was hot, but anyhow...a chick standing next to her said, "You got a package?" and I'm like, "...yeah..." and poked it. Bad thing to do. Normal men wouldn't have done that so nonchalantly. She asked my name, I said Leo, but I think she thought I said Leah...gag me...I corrected her and walked away. Well when I went to leave she still said she when referring to me. All I said was "It's he, bitch" and left. Between that and my roommate and his friend getting the pronouns wrong constantly last night...I swear...the next person who gets it wrong is getting hurt.

\end rant

[Alessandro]

I constantly refuse to acknowledge it.  I don't even like to think about it, I just try not to.  In a sexual sense it may as well all just not exist. 

[GamerJames]

I tend to acknowledge its existence to people who "need to know". Partners, doctors, or if talking to someone about my transition and the steps along the way, etc.

Some days I'm able to refer to what little I do have as my penis (or other phrases for the like), but oftentimes, it just doesn't feel enough like the phantom penis whose presence I feel at all times. It's weird that way, and I'm hoping that once I'm on T and it (hopefully) grows, then I'll be able to relate to a physical part of me as my penis, instead of just this intangible "member" my mental body map tells me should be there.

I still want to penetrate like a normal guy and feel it.

^THIS^ The times I get the most dysphoria over not having the right parts is during sex. When I'm using a strap-on but it just doesn't feel right because I can't *feel* the sensation. Or when I'm not using a strap-on and whoever I'm with is doing stuff to me "down there". I can usually make my brain fill in the gaps between what I have and what I should have, but sometimes, that doesn't work and then I just get all squicky and "get away from me" and feel like the world is caving in on my head.

Gah, I'm posting such negative things in all the threads I'm visiting today... I wish I could be more positive sometimes.

[sneakersjay]

Counting the days until what I have is transformed into what it was supposed to be.  And especially ready to be rid of the dang vag.  ICK.


Jay