Finally

[Al James]

Just got my letter thro for my first psychiatrist appointment. NEXT FRIDAY AAAARRRRGHHH.
What do i do what do i say am i excited am i scared was beginning to think i'd never get this
God im happy (I think)

[owl]

next friday eh?
it wil be here before you know it

[spacial]

I suggest you stick to the point.

Everyone had a rotten child hood, the world has been unfair to every adult. Every parent was lousey. none of us had any friends and so on.

You start going on about these and that's just more issues that need to be dealt with.

But you are going there to make it quite clear, what it is that you want to do, that you are sane, intelegent and are fully aware of the consequences. That you have no illusions about the numerous problems you will face.

But at the same time, you must make it abundently clear that if you don't get this treatment the consequences are unthinkable.

You are not suicidal because you look forward to your life in the role you know, inside, you should have had.

You are on the path to where you need to go. Turning back is unthinkable.

Your body, at this time isn't right. Explain to him why.

He will ask you how you imagine your life as a man will be. What you expect and what sort of problems you expect.

Relax. He can't read your mind. Don't try to fake anything. Don't lie. Just talk to him in the same way you would anyone else.

[Al James]

hmm. Don't do talking very well. But on the upside I didn't have a rotten childhood , my mum is amazing and all my friends are great so thats some issues i dont need to talk about!

[FolkFanatic]

All i can say is go in with a level head, a goal in mind, and present as you normally do.

Don't try to fake the doc out, don't try to push yourself to present as male if you're not ready or comfortable with that step yet, be honest, and be open. They're supposed to be here to help.  They're here to give up things to think about and consider, but not openly diagnose and say "you're trans" or "you're not trans."

In the next week it wouldn't hurt to do some research online or read some biographies on already transitioned FTM. Have an idea of what you want to do, what can be expected to be done, what you want out of the transition, and any concerns you may have.

My first appointment was a mixture of excitement and insecurity - my parents (who aren't taking things well) chose the psychologist (local/general and not specialist) and i was worried they managed to find one of the FEW who think badly of transpeople and would give them the wrong idea (or try to convince me i'm not trans, just confused.)

I was pleasantly surprised to find a knowledgeable older woman who knew about the trans community and enough about the issue to help me out. I just finished my third appointment with her and she's sending me off to a specialist. If i can't get IN to one then she offered to write my hormone letter if it would be accepted (and even told me there was no reason i couldn't be on T by summer) and i could continue to see her (and she would help me as best as possible) while i wait for my appointment with the specialist.

Good luck! The week will go by very quickly.

[Al James]

not sure i can do the level head after 20 years of waiting for this but i'll try!!
Just feels so good to know theres actually a date in sight even tho i know i'm going to have to wait months afterwards with the NHS. But i'm slightly worried cos to be honest if they ask me how having t or surgery will make my life better i'm not sure of the answer. I know i'm in the wrong body but after 38 years of living in it i've learnt to adapt. Yes there are times when i go mad and feel like i'm drowning but i'm getting better especially now i've found this site. so does that mean they'll decide i dont need hormones or surgery cos i'm coping and sort of living a male life anyway

[Nemo]

Have you heard of www.ftm.org.uk? There's a whole load of info on there about things like this. It says to dress smart (not OTT suit-smart, but shirt, smart trousers, maybe a tie) - for anyone who's already been there, is that accurate?

Good luck Al, and congrats on getting to the next stage!

[Al James]

Thanks Nemo, can't believe its almost here. know i've got loads of waiting still to do but at least i feel like ive been acknowledged now

[Adio]

Have you heard of www.ftm.org.uk? There's a whole load of info on there about things like this. It says to dress smart (not OTT suit-smart, but shirt, smart trousers, maybe a tie) - for anyone who's already been there, is that accurate?

Good luck Al, and congrats on getting to the next stage!

Dress business casual for a therapy session?     Unless that's how you normally dress or you just came from work, I wouldn't.  Seems phony or put-on to me.   

[spacial]

hmm. Don't do talking very well. But on the upside I didn't have a rotten childhood , my mum is amazing and all my friends are great so thats some issues i dont need to talk about!

That's the way.

I was really trying to make the point that you should keep the discussion on your plans to change and avoid opening any cans of worms about deep seated anxieties or anything else that might divert attention away.

By the way, really pleased about your mum.

[Nemo]

Dress business casual for a therapy session?     Unless that's how you normally dress or you just came from work, I wouldn't.  Seems phony or put-on to me.

Mmm... given that it also reckons that a wait time between referral letter and first appointment is about 6 months, and Al got his letter telling him it's for next week, I'm starting to wonder just how old that info is. Still, it's put my mind at rest about the appointment I'm still waiting for.

[Al James]

yeah but it was in september that i went to see my GP and the referral letter got sent so it has been six months. Six long endless annoying months!!! But its here now so they're forgiven. Almost. And Spacial thank you. The one thing i'm panicking about is actually i've adapted to this life pretty well. I don't like it but theres only odd times when the dysphoria sends me haywire. Does this mean i'll get rejected cos i'm not in "desparate need"

[Greg]

The one thing i'm panicking about is actually i've adapted to this life pretty well. I don't like it but theres only odd times when the dysphoria sends me haywire. Does this mean i'll get rejected cos i'm not in "desparate need"

Just because you've adapted to a crappy situation doesn't mean you'll be taken less seriously. People adapt to all kinds of things, it's just human nature. Just because you don't want to throw yourself off a cliff over being trans, doesn't mean you'll be ignored. And surely if you've adapted to life as male then being given hormones etc is your next logical step.

[Al James]

I know but now i'm just working myself up into a state. fear of the unknown i think I'll take a couple of deep breaths and everything will be ok!!!

[Radar]

But i'm slightly worried cos to be honest if they ask me how having t or surgery will make my life better i'm not sure of the answer. I know i'm in the wrong body but after 38 years of living in it i've learnt to adapt.

I know what you mean about starting transition a little later in life (30s). But the dysphoria and GID doesn't get better over time- just worse. Our age can sometimes help us since by your 30's you pretty much know yourself and your identity has been discovered. I get the impression that people in their teens and early 20's may not be taken as seriously because "they're still discovering themselves" or "still experimenting". It's unfair but many people- even professionals- have this mindset.

Age or not I think starting transition makes everyone feel like their life is getting better. It's hard and stressful as hell but liberating at the same time. When I go out in public and get sir'd and he'd it's such a great, natural feeling. The unknown is scary, but for once in my life I look forward to the future as the man I am.

[Al James]

Suppose at 38 i'd look an idiot if i took my mum in with me to hold my hand!!

[Flameboy]

OK dude, first off - CHILL!

I'm assuming you're seeing a local psych rather than having an appointment at the GIC? Are you looking to be referred to Charing Cross in London, or will you be sent to Leeds or one of the other GICs, do you know?

If it's CX, the psych you'll be seeing is just there to make sure you're suitable to be referred to CX, rather than decide whether you should or shouldn't be given T and surgery referrals etc. It's the job of the CX psychs to "diagnose" you, not the local psych - the local psych should just be checking up that you're not wasting time, or suffering from any mental health problems that might be confused with trans issues.

I'm not sure of the procedure for Leeds or anywhere else, but I can try and find out if that's where you're likely to be going.

The fact that you're doing ok at the moment won't make them try to deny you T - in fact, it'll just prove to them that living as male is the right thing for you to do; that's pretty much the point of real life experience!

Oh, and if you want your mum to go with you to the appointment I don't see why you shouldn't take her - lots of people take someone for support, and at leasst it'll show that you have the support of your family!

[Al James]

I'm assuming you're seeing a local psych rather than having an appointment at the GIC? Are you looking to be referred to Charing Cross in London, or will you be sent to Leeds or one of the other GICs, do you know?

I was first referred to a local psych last october but when i rang for my appointment was told that he'd passed me on to someone else because he didn't know enough about the subject. I'm now seeing Dr Ferguson at Grantham although he is the same Dr Ferguson who is attached to the Nottingham GIC so I'm assuming i'll end up there. Oh well, less than 48 hours and all this will be over