Rant

[Al James]

I swear i have been called by every female nickname possible tonight over the phone i.e darling,honey,love,chick,by the male customers, and its driving me mad for some reason. i desparately want to argue with them but seeing as i would probably end up losing my boss his customers its not a good idea. So i've come on here to go AAAAAAAArggggggh! I wouldnt mind but face to face people don't clock me on my voice- just certain times over the phone. Maybe i should start smoking again to lower it

[spacial]

Can you let it go, for the sake of your job?

[GabrielJames]

Last week I had three "bad gender days" in a row.

I was telling a friend of mine that a chick in the ladies' room gave me a funny look like I was in the wrong place and about how happy that made me and some girl overheard and told me "I don't think you look like a boy at all. I mean, you've got boobs." Thanks. Thanks for reminding me that I still don't have enough extra cash to buy a binder.

Then I was at Tim Horton's and the manager saw me waiting to order and was like, "Will someone take this lady's order, please?" I wanted to die of embarrassment.

So, I feel your pain. You want to say something but you know that you really can't. I say just grin and bear it and know that some day your voice will be low enough that no one would dare call you sweetheart.

[Al James]

Because i sometimes see the customers instead of talking to them over the phone the thought that keeps me going is when ive been on T had my top surgerey and am sporting a newly grown beard i'll be able to ask them why they call me darling. The look on their faces should be worth it

[GabrielJames]

Here's hoping that day comes soon, man. For both of us.

[Al James]

Yeah we'll all get there

[Aussie Jay]

dude I know your pain - got 'darled' and 'loved' at the servo yesterday and wanted to beat the guys face in!!
Sucks - hang in there guys, we'll all get there!!!

[Radar]

Here in the U.S. South guys are sometimes called dear, darling, sweetie, sweetheart, etc.- except just from women. If a guy called another guy that then there's trouble.

I hate terms of endearment- always have- but I can handle it better as long as a guy doesn't use it. I understand your aggravation... it sucks. The best I can say is suck it up and that hopefully in the future you won't have to tolerate it. Every time someone she's or girl's me at work it drives me crazy. But, they don't know yet so I can't be mad at them.

[DRAIN]

at my job, my nickname is new girl.

a coworker today called me "miss (girl name)" 3 TIMES. usually once i just grumble to myself and go on my way, but 3 times. yes i know it rhymes, aren't you so clever 

not to mention the customers saying "ask the nice lady/here's a lady that can help/lady this/lady that" even coworkers call me lady, just as a greeting "hey lady"

lately it's really rubbing me the wrong way

[Alessandro]

Yes, all of this stuff gets me down.  I really feel for the OP with the phone job.  I have a phobia of answering telephones and the fact that my voice is so different from my actual image is scary.  I hate that the person on the other end of the phone might be seeing me as some dress-wearing, made up lovely lady! 

I guess you just have to swallow it, or try and find a different type of job. 

[Jeatyn]

I pretty much had a nervous breakdown and quit my telesales job because I simply couldn't handle this all day every day.

[Kaz]

I get lady-ed all the time too.  Its a pain, especially as i wear men's clothes, have really short hair and stuff...kinda makes me squirm when i think how they must see me (butch dyke anyone!) Oh for the days when girls wore skirts and guys wore trousers.  I know there was no hormone therapy or top surgery then but still i reckon passing must have been easier in some ways.

[kyril]

Yeah, I get completely irrationally panicky at the thought that someone somewhere might be perceiving me as a butch dyke - it's what made me keep my hair long for years, and might push me back into the closet if I'm not properly transitioned by the time I graduate from college.

And I have serious issues with the phone, although it's only recently that I've begun to wonder if it's something to do with the gender issues - I just remember that I basically stopped using telephones when I was 14 or so. I really feel for you guys with the phone jobs...that has to suck.

[Kaz]

I don't have a problem with butch dyke per se...i IDed as lesbian for 15 years....its just that obviously people see that and not that fact that i'm male (despite the female body) and its annoying because i dress and act the way i do because i'm a man NOT because i'm a dyke

but unfortunately if you look and act the way i do..*sigh* that's the conclusion most people come to.

[Jay]

Once you have started T and its taken effect you won't be called darling anymore... unless the person is female.

Jay

[sneakersjay]

Once you have started T and its taken effect you won't be called darling anymore... unless the person is female.

Jay

Except by some pesky people who knew you before...!

At work things are pretty good but just the other night I was referred to as my dog's MOM!!!

Yeah.


Jay

[Adio]

Once you have started T and its taken effect you won't be called darling anymore... unless the person is female.

Jay

This happened yesterday.  I called our local recycling center for some information.  The lady I was talking to correctly ID'd me, called me sir and all that.  After I got all my info, she hung up by calling me "baby."  I thought of this thread and laughed a little bit. 

Even when correctly ID'd guys can still get called all those stupid girly nicknames.

ETA:  I've called guys "Mom"s before.  Did they mean it in the fact that you were "motherly" (think of "Mr. Mom" but to a pet) to your dog or was it a gender slip up?  Either way that sucks.  I think things like that will always stick out to guys like us.

[Devin87]

Yeah, I get completely irrationally panicky at the thought that someone somewhere might be perceiving me as a butch dyke - it's what made me keep my hair long for years,

That's EXACTLY what happened to me.  I started trying to transition my first year of college, but almost everyone just thought I was a butch lesbian and I hated that for some reason and so I gave up on transitioning and grew my hair really long and bought some skirts I only wore once or twice and stuff.  I don't know why I'm so against people seeing me as a butch lesbian, but I guess it's just not the image I want to present.  I'm pretty shy and quiet and like to blend in whereas butch lesbians just stick out and most of them want to stick out.  I don't like being seen that way.

[kyril]

That's EXACTLY what happened to me.  I started trying to transition my first year of college, but almost everyone just thought I was a butch lesbian and I hated that for some reason and so I gave up on transitioning and grew my hair really long and bought some skirts I only wore once or twice and stuff.  I don't know why I'm so against people seeing me as a butch lesbian, but I guess it's just not the image I want to present.  I'm pretty shy and quiet and like to blend in whereas butch lesbians just stick out and most of them want to stick out.  I don't like being seen that way.

I think that for me, the issue is that butch lesbians are pretty much the antithesis, gender- and sexuality-wise, of everything that I am and want to be. They're women - often very proud women - who love other women, and who exude female masculinity from every pore. And that's great, if you're a lesbian. But I'm neither female, nor particularly masculine, nor proud of being a woman, nor attracted to women. So if I'm perceived as butch, people are seeing the exact opposite of me.

[Radar]

I don't know why I'm so against people seeing me as a butch lesbian, but I guess it's just not the image I want to present.

I am the exact same way except I know why. I'm not a lesbian or a dyke- I am a man. I do believe most men wouldn't like being called or seen as a lesbian or dyke. It's just wrong.