I cry when I'm pissed off, and this is not good.

[insanitylives]

I know, I know, it's very typically feminine. And I hate it.

I will be punching the hell out of a tree (don't ask), and crying at the same time.

But.. Um. Did/does anyone have this problem, and how do you stop. Please don't state the obvious of "don't get mad at people", thanks.

I hate being so emotional.

[placeholdername]

It's very typically human.

[insanitylives]

  Because people are going to take me seriously if I break down so easily.

Constructive help please, thanks.

[Lachlann]

Well, it is a pretty typical human reaction... it's just easier to control if you've got T I've found.

(inb4 someone says, "girls have levels of T too!" yes, but high levels of estrogen can create excessive crying.)

[Adio]

Do you cry out of anger, frustration, sadness, hopelessness, all of the above?  What triggers the crying? 

The only way to really combat the behavior is to examine at the feelings behind it, identify when you're having those feelings, and find other ways to express them if the behavior (in this situation, crying) isn't working for you.

[insanitylives]

Considered mentioning in the first post... but hormones won't be an option until I can move out in a few years. Yes, it sucks. But I actually plan on moving out before I'm 20. [I think this hints pretty well at my age...]

adio: anger and frustration. Its actually a really bad combination because I'm also a bit violent (violence is better controlled, and yes I know it "doesn't solve anything") and stronger than people expect from a fatass.

[kyril]

I have the same problem, and it's very much hormonally triggered for me. It's a serious pain. My primary coping mechanism is really to just avoid situations that trigger strong emotions in the presence of others - never pick a fight with family, always back down quickly if they try to pick one, and if conflict does arise, just sort of go into shutdown mode and walk out before it gets to me. And I try to defuse a lot of stuff with humour.

I'm very (almost dysfunctionally) emotionally-reserved and distant these days - I only wish I'd learned how to be like this when I was a kid and my mom would yell at me for crying.

[cynthialee]

Even in my twenties when my T was at its highest I would go into rages that happened to be acompanied by tears.
I think tears combined with rage is not something that is abnormal at all.
Now if you get that way over the smallest things then maybe there is an issue that needs adressing.

[Hikari]

I know it sounds cliché but think happy thoughts. If you can think about something else then you can distance yourself from your emotions. I usually think of a story I am working on, think of a Monty Python episode, et cetera anything that brings me a smile.

It is a human problem, but I understand being born male and very emotional and crying all the time has brought me alot of grief as the popular perception is that 'boys don't cry' no matter how untrue that may be, to me it makes perfect sense to try and not fall into a stereotype the public holds.

[Nimetön]

You are quite correct, it is a stereotypically female reaction and won't be tolerated among men.  I wouldn't come within ten yards of a man that was known to do it, nor would I trust him in any way, nor would any of the men I know.  We are normally conditioned against it at a fairly early age; if ostracism and ridicule aren't enough to convince a kid, he'll learn that crying in front of a pack of angry teenage boys bears consequences, and crying in front of one's father could be an extraordinarily painful mistake.

I don't know much about how to help it, though, if you haven't had that sort of conditioning.  I've known many transmen to say that it goes away during HRT, and self-control generally increases with age and experience regardless.

One possibility: when I was a teenager, if I thought I'd lose control of my emotions, I generally caused myself some level of physical pain.  It seemed to help.

- N

[Adio]

adio: anger and frustration. Its actually a really bad combination because I'm also a bit violent (violence is better controlled, and yes I know it "doesn't solve anything") and stronger than people expect from a fatass.

I used to have a horrible temper, punch things (sometimes people), cried a lot.  I sometimes still cry, but not as much as I used to.  I just had to find another way of channeling all of my anger, depression, frustration.

I tried a lot of things before I found something that worked for me.  Most times I just walk away if I think the situation is too heavy or intense.  That way I can cool down and deal with it later (if that's even necessary).  Holding my breath and/or deep breathing has helped me.  Ranting about the situation to a sympathetic friend or a forum online.  Tearing or scribbling on paper.  Hot bath or shower.  Listening to music.  Going on a long drive or walk.  Splashing cold water on your face or holding ice.  Petting a cat or dog or any furry animal.

[cynthialee]

You are quite correct, it is a stereotypically female reaction and won't be tolerated among men.  I wouldn't come within ten yards of a man that was known to do it, nor would I trust him in any way, nor would any of the men I know.  We are normally conditioned against it at a fairly early age; if ostracism and ridicule aren't enough to convince a kid, he'll learn that crying in front of a pack of angry teenage boys bears consequences, and crying in front of one's father could be an extraordinarily painful mistake.

I don't know much about how to help it, though, if you haven't had that sort of conditioning.  I've known many transmen to say that it goes away during HRT, and self-control generally increases with age and experience regardless.

One possibility: when I was a teenager, if I thought I'd lose control of my emotions, I generally caused myself some level of physical pain.  It seemed to help.

- N

I will disagree. When I presented male one of the aces in the hole I held was the ability to cry in front of others. Othjer men do not know how to handle a crying man. They will do anything to make it stop. Now with teen agers your right it is a bad idea, but grown men it really makes them feel wierd and that has gotten me results so many times. Now maybe that has something to do with the fact I am very fem but still.

[kyril]

I will disagree. When I presented male one of the aces in the hole I held was the ability to cry in front of others. Othjer men do not know how to handle a crying man. They will do anything to make it stop. Now with teen agers your right it is a bad idea, but grown men it really makes them feel wierd and that has gotten me results so many times. Now maybe that has something to do with the fact I am very fem but still.

Yeah, but that's not really a fun way to get what you want...more than a little embarrassing.

[Alyx.]

You are quite correct, it is a stereotypically female reaction and won't be tolerated among men.  I wouldn't come within ten yards of a man that was known to do it, nor would I trust him in any way, nor would any of the men I know.  We are normally conditioned against it at a fairly early age; if ostracism and ridicule aren't enough to convince a kid, he'll learn that crying in front of a pack of angry teenage boys bears consequences, and crying in front of one's father could be an extraordinarily painful mistake.

I don't know much about how to help it, though, if you haven't had that sort of conditioning.  I've known many transmen to say that it goes away during HRT, and self-control generally increases with age and experience regardless.

One possibility: when I was a teenager, if I thought I'd lose control of my emotions, I generally caused myself some level of physical pain.  It seemed to help.

- N

Uh... Wow...

[Fenrir]

Ugh, I know, I get this too and I hate it. Whenever I'm having a serious argument with someone, the tears start flowing and it just makes you look stupid and weak. The thing is, I'll be there saying "just ignore the crying, it's stupid and has nothing to do with the issue" and the other person just won't believe me, will think I'm trying to get them to feel sorry for me or something. 
My cause is frustration. So, yeah, really trying to avoid any situations where I'd get frustrated and distracting myself with random stuff is how I deal with it.

[Silver]

Crying + punching things, I don't see it as a female reaction. Wish I could help you, find an aggressive hobby. Catharsis.

[Myself]

Do some martial arts that can help you focus your emotions!

I was always a bit of a crybaby :/ now on estrogen it can get extreme so since you can't be on T yet all I can suggest is find ways to focus it and to train yourself to react differently.

P.S. Scratching pillows is so much less painful than hitting trees !!!

[Cindy]

I'm starting to cry more, which is also a problem
My psych suggested the same excercises as for anxiety attacks. Deep breathing through the mouth and exale through the nose. Repeat several times. If anyone asks what is going on, in your circumstance you can say that you are trying to control your temper before you rip of the jerks head. I explain that I'm finding the situation very emotional and want to control it. I haven't had a problem with that remark even when I present as male (yuk).  When I do so as Cindy my friends just say, Oh have a good cry you'll feel better

BTW you will need to get an understanding of your anger. In female ID you may get away with it, once you are in male ID it can lead to typical male behaviour; violence. And most Y chromo-guys are likely to be bigger and more muscular and experienced in violence than you are.

You may end up in a bad situation.

I hope this is not offensive, I aplogise if it is.

Cindy

[cynthialee]

Yeah, but that's not really a fun way to get what you want...more than a little embarrassing.

I do not embaras easy. Crying in public does not shame me. If anything it makes other men extrememly uncomfortable.

[Miniar]

Learn to recognize when it bubbles up, remove yourself if at all possible, do some breathing exercises (basic meditation) to clear the head, return.
Learn to look at your emotional reaction from a logical standpoint. As in, instead of being all "rawr! I'z angry" go "wait, why exactly do I feel angry and is that emotion warrented here". It can distract you from the emotional bits and lessen them, and also, it reduces the times you get all emotional as there are things we often over-react to, and realizing were overreacting can help us stop doing it.