Hello!!

[Elena.tgz]

Greetings to all of you. First i want to apologize for my english, as I' m not a native speaker.
Well, I'm going to tell my story.
The first time I remember wanting to be a girl was when I was 13 years old. Before that I had some girlish behavior.
After thinking about it the first time I denied my feelings and tried to be more masculine, but from time to time the feelings came back. Finally, 3 months ago, being 19 years old; I decided to investigate in Internet what was happening to me. I found this and other web sites and forums that helped me a lot.
How I feel? Well, I think trapped is the word that better describes it. Making a comparision with computers (my hobby and major), I see the people that surrounds me like a computer program running in a modern computer, while I' m the same program running in a Pentium 2. Simply the "hardware" don' t match with my mind.
In coming out, I have only told this to a counselor I was seeing before, and it didn' t end very well (I told him the comparision with computers and he suggested "rewriting the software")
I' m planning to tell this to my best friend, who is very open and I hope will react well.
Coming out to my parents... Well, I want to be very sure about this before telling them, but I think they will at least understand it.

[cynthialee]

You were girly before puberty and when puberty hit you doidnt like the results and you have had transsexual ideation for the last at least 6 years...You sound perfectly normal and on track from what I can see. You are probably trans of some form. Welcome to the group, you will fit right in.
Rewriting the software...ie..reparative therapy is a very bad idea.
It would be far bettr to go see a gender therapist and sort out just how deep the feelings of dysphoria are and what if anything you need to do it.
We are here for you regardless if you find resolution or transition in your jopurn ey.
Pretty soon Janet will come by and post the links to the rules.
We have a fairly good library and referance section. Check it out..

Hugz
Cynthia Lee

[Janet_Girl]

Hi Elena,

Welcome to our little family. Over 4300 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar)
  

Hugs and Love,
Janet

[Elena.tgz]

Thank you for the welcome.
In the past couple of months I have seen the information in the wiki and I think it' s very complete. In the forums I also found stories of other people that have helped me to sort out my feelings.
About the reparative therapy, I know it' s a bad idea. After the counselor suggested it the rest of the interview was very cold because someone who says that don' t know about gender dysphoria.

[K8]

Welcome to Susan's, Elena. 

There's a lot of good information and good people here.  You sound like many of us here.  Each of our stories is unique but we have a lot in common.  Settle in, pull up a keyboard, and explore.

The problem, as I see it, is that we have factory-installed firmware and need a hardware upgrade to make it run properly.

Happy exploring.

- Kate

[Hikari]

.tgz tar gzip? hehe, that is cool.

Welcome, and I must say anyone who suggests to rewrite the software, doesn't fully understand the limits of the platform. As k8 said, a hardware upgrade may be necessary. It is always great to have another computer literate gal around 

[Elena.tgz]

When I was thinking about the comparision with the computer, to me rewriting the software wasn' t an option. Obiously he didn' t know the big difference between a Pentium II and a modern computer...
...Yes, it' s tar.gzip haha. It' s good to see there are other geek girls around here.